


Dropped In

by KieraRutherford



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adoribull relationship reference, F/M, Self-Indulgent, This has a plot, Time Travel, holy crap I got sucked into my video game, hope to the Maker they don't kill me, in someone elses body, oops I did, some nsfw, tell no one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 23:52:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 68,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9466223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KieraRutherford/pseuds/KieraRutherford
Summary: Sarah has come home from a hard day of work during a horrible storm to play her favorite game: Dragon Age Inquisition. She loads a new file and begins only to get a call in to work. In a fit of anger she wishes she was in Dragon Age instead. A strange bolt zaps her and she awakens in Haven. Now she has to figure out how to get home, all while staring at the gorgeous Commander Cullen. Maybe, she doesn't want to go home. Maybe, being here isn't so bad at all. Either way she'll need to keep her wits about her, after all she's only just dropped in.





	1. Chapter 1

Sarah had just pulled her car in the parking lot as the foul weather turned in a horrid thunderstorm. She got soaking wet in the thirty seconds it took her to get from her car to her apartment building. She grumbled and sputtered, wiping water off her face as she rode the elevator to her floor. It’d been one of those days, where absolutely everything went wrong. All she wanted to do was curl up on her couch with a hot tea and play her favorite video game. As she got off the elevator she dropped her keys twice, fumbling to get into her house. She cursed under her breath and managed to get in the door. Not caring one bit for anything she stripped most of her clothes right there. Locking the door behind her, she sauntered into the kitchen to make herself a tea. To lazy to make a fresh pot she simply reheated a cup in the microwave from earlier in the day. With her hot beverage in hand she sunk down on her couch, wrapping herself in an oversize faux shearling throw. She turned her TV on and gripped her controller off the coffee table in front of her, “finally now I can start that new play through as Trevelyan I’ve been dying to do all damn day.” She loaded the game on her Xbox one and began setting her character up, “this time Lady Trevelyan, we romance Ser Blackwall!” she finished customizing her character. Red hair in a bun with tendrils hanging down, a long scar across her lips, brilliant emerald green eyes and a fair complexion. She was very satisfied with her choices, “alright, Diana Trevelyan, let’s get this burly teddy bear love session started!”  


She played through the game, retrieving Blackwall as soon as she could and began setting the frame work to romance him. As her character stood before Blackwall her phone went off, a text message. She reached beside herself and flicked open the screen, “can you work tomorrow? Nancy bailed on her shift, you’re the only one we’ve got. Sorry about the short notice, and the six day work week. You’ll make killer overtime, swear to it,” she growled loudly, tossing the phone across the room as the lightning flickered an eerie purple outside her window, “ugh you’ve got to be kidding me! Fuck! I wish I could just be in Dragon Age, it would be so much simpler than this bullshit existence! Fucking Nancy and her fucking bailing!” As she uttered the words a bright flash of lightning pierced through the window, zapping her Xbox, and stream of green and purple energy flickered through the corded controller and into her body. She blacked out.  


When she came to, she was laying in a bed. An unfamiliar bed, made of feathers and straw, blankets of a heavy fur covered her. She leaned up in bed gripping her head, how it throbbed! That was when she felt her arms brush her ears, long pointed ears. She gasped as she looked around the room, “I’m… in Haven?” her voice was different, not her own. It smacked of the Dalish tones, a similarity to the Welsh or Irish curl of the tongue. She immediately noticed the elven girl standing in the room, “what’s going on?”  


The young girl jumped, “oh my, you, you’re awake!” she nervously dropped her basket of herbs on the floor.  


Sarah took a moment to think about everything, “how long have I been laying here? How did I get here?”  


“They found you beside the Herald. When she fell out of the Fade you fell out beside her. You have been unconscious for the last week,” she fumbled, “the Commander wished to be informed when you awoke, I have to go!” she rushed out the door and sped away.  


Sarah quickly tried to figure things out, “I must have been sucked into the game during that storm. Seeing as I’m an elf and fell out of the rift I must be my Lavellan from a previous play through. At least I have a back story, but that should mean,” she pulled her hands in front of her face and focused her finger tips, willing fire to dance above them and sure enough flame sputtered out, “a mage,” she quietly sat up off the bed, searching the room. It was the same room as in the game. She was in the cabin the main character used. She touched her clothes seeing the familiar elven apparel from the game. A tight leather belt wrapped around her waist, dark greenish brown leggings, a loose light cotton tunic top. Her shoes where wraps with her toes sticking out, like Solas’s. She looked over to see the basket the servant dropped was full of elfroot leaves. She quickly gathered them back up and searched the room. She had precious little but the clothes on her back. Then she thought for a moment, “why would Cullen want to know…” she let out a soft chuckle, “because Trevelyan was romancing Blackwall,” she sighed running her hands over her face. She reached up, running her fingers through her hair. Her hair was a thick mass of curls tied in a bun at the crown of her head, she pulled a few strands forward and sure enough raven black. She smiled, “I must have violet eyes too,” she chuckled, “maybe this won’t be so bad. I’m going to guess that if I want out of this game I’ll need to play it through. I’ve read enough books and seen enough movies to know the only way out is to complete the game,” she groaned under her breath, “and my luck I bought the damn DLC.” There was a knock on the wooden door, causing Sarah to jump. She rushed forward and pulled it out, “hello?” she needed to stay in character, remember she was an elven mage in Haven and not the Herald of Andraste.  


There he was Commander Cullen in the flesh, looming over her. Her eyes flew wide, he was so much bigger than she had thought, “uh, um,” she stammered before finally shaking off the shock, “please come in, Ser?” She needed to be careful what she said, after all there was a chance this might not end well if she played her cards wrong and they found out she wasn’t some elf. There wouldn’t be an easy explanation for her situation and she’d seen enough in the other games to know they’d either give her the brand or burn her alive.  


“I am Commander Cullen, my men brought you back from the Temple of Sacred Ashes with the Herald. How are you feeling?” his voice was soft, still carrying the authoritive undertones.  


“I believe I am well, thank you. Though I don’t know how I ended up there. The last thing I remember was the Conclave,” she rubbed her forehead praying she could keep from making any mistakes.  


“I feared that was likely. I am glad you are well,” he nodded stoically, “this is Haven and we are the Inquisition. You seem lost,” he stopped to look her over.  


“It is a bit much to take in. I should introduce myself, I’m Sarah of the clan Lavellan,” she bowed, “what is this, Inquisition?”  


Cullen smiled, “well met Sarah. The Inquisition has been fashioned to fix the hole in the sky, find the person who created it and put things right again. I joined the Inquisition in Kirkwall myself,” he began to pace softly about the room, “I’m sorry I’m sure you aren’t interested in a lecture.”  


Sarah grinned widely knowing exactly what she wanted to say, “no but if you have one prepared I’d be happy to hear it,” she smiled brightly watching as his face softened and cheeks flushed a rosy pink.  


“Perhaps another time,” he cleared his throat, pursing his lips together as he averted his gaze from her for a moment.  


“I would like to help as best I can, I’d like to join the Inquisition as it were. I have healing magic, some combat magic and I can shoot a bow,” she stopped for a moment, it was subtle at first but she could see it. The pain in his eyes, of course she knew about his withdrawal, she’d beaten the game more times than she would ever admit out loud. It tugged at her, seeing him trying to hide the pain she knew must be unbearable and she wasn’t going to let him remain so in her presences, “Commander, are you in pain?”  


Cullen’s eyes widened, “it’s just a headache nothing more,” she watched as he gave a faint smile, a smile she was keenly aware was beyond fake. He was in agony, and she couldn’t leave him like that. She focused in her head, trying to envision healing magic, healing power, and she could feel it swirl in her hand, “may I?” She watched him carefully, all to aware of his size and his hand resting on the hilt of his blade. She saw him arch his brow and then nod softly. She pulled her hands out in front of her and in that same soft accent she loved of the Dalish she purred softly, “relax, Commander. I mean you no harm,” she raised her hands and closed the distance between them, watching him flinch slightly as her fingers touched his temples. She closed her eyes and as she’d done to herself a million times began to slowly apply pressure while rubbing in tiny circles. This time however she could feel the magic flowing out of her finger tips, a cold touch and something that made Cullen sigh, “is this helping?” she smiled, her eyes still closed.  


Cullen’s voice was like soft velvet as he spoke in a half lucid state, “very much yes.”  


She smiled, “then I am glad,” she didn’t want to open her eyes as she continued a few moments more, her magic giving her a signal the healing was done. Now she simply was rubbing his temples because it felt so nice to touch him. She blushed bright red, “I suppose I should stop,” she slowly opened her eyes and slowly took her fingers away from his face, tenderly dragging them down his cheeks. She quickly retracted her hands to herself, wringing them at her waist nervously, “I apologize, I over step my bounds, please forgive me.”  


She watched Cullen carefully look over at her, seemingly scanning her features. The silence was gnawing at her, this wasn’t what she’d ever expected let alone to have touched him. She fumbled and stammered, waiting for him to say something, anything, “no it’s alright,” he finally spoke, his voice croaked slightly on the words, “thank you, you have impressive healing abilities.”  


She tried not to groan, she remembered the game he was a terrible flirt and someone seriously awkward, “thank you, perhaps I can help with the local healer till I feel back to myself,” she felt slightly tired, “it seems that bit of magic has worn on me slightly.”  


Cullen nodded softly, “would you care for a tour of Haven? I would be more comfortable knowing you knew how to get around and the appropriate people knew you were a member of our cause.”  


She smiled widely, her eyes lighting up, “oh yes please, I would appreciate that very much!” Really, she knew how to get around Haven, she knew each and every member of the team already and she didn’t need Cullen to show her anything. This was a chance to spend more time with Cullen, to build a relationship with him. Her biggest fantasy since she met the young ex-templar when she bought the game nearly a year ago. After all she was basically a card carrying Cullenite! She’d written so many fanfics, played the game religiously, had a blog about him and now she was in the flesh before him. She was over the moon and this little walk would give her a chance to chat with him and calm down.  


Cullen walked calmly towards the door and opened it wide, waiting for her to follow and she was eager to follow. She quickly started to carry a calm conversation, “do you have headaches often? Have you seen a healer?”  


Cullen snorted, “it has been a long day, simply too much paperwork that is all. Thank you for your concern,” he carried himself tall and proud as he marched along taking her up to the Chantry first.  


“If you have such headaches I can treat them for you, it is no problem at all. Anytime you require it, my services are yours,” she blushed at the words. Was she seriously just soliciting him? She had meant to continue the conversation when she looked up into the sky, she nearly stopped dead in her tracks seeing the Breach in person, “sweet Maker…”  


“It is something impressive. If we are lucky the Herald shall recruit either the mages or the Templars to our cause and we shall be able to seal the Breach within a few days,” he stopped turning to her, “then we can figure out the rest of the problems.”  


She felt her mouth run dry. She knew what was coming next, Corypheus, the dragon, Haven’s destruction. She’d need to prepare and make sure she had enough supplies to help when the time came, and to get as many people through the mountain pass as she could. It was terrifying to think of and at that moment she was very happy she hadn’t loaded in as the Inquisitor herself, “it is beautiful if not terrifying,” she swallowed hard. The sudden reality of her situation coming to her.  


“Come the Chantry is this way,” he smiled motioning with his head to follow, “thank you for the offer to help with my headaches. I may have to take you up on your offer. I have not felt this well in some time.”  


She smiled brightly, knowing what this line of conversation meant for his character, “if that was my place, you are free to come by anytime. Day or night, I truly mean that,” she watched him flush slightly as he reached up to rub his neck, “in my clan I helped with healing simple injuries and similar headaches. It isn’t uncommon to have someone in need in the dead of the night,” there that would help out him at ease, “and your presence wouldn’t bother me.”  


He cleared his throat, “thank you again, you are too kind,” he held open the door to the Chantry, showing her around quickly, “we should move before Roderick finds us,” he shuttered.  


She gripped his arm, “is he dangerous?” she decided she really wanted to play this part up as Cullen quickly rushed them out the door and down towards Adan’s healer’s shack.  


“Not really, he’s toothless. I am just making sure to avoid him, he has complained of me harassing him. I do not wish to hear the complaints again,” he sighed heavily, “this way, you may be able to help our apothecary, Adan. He will be pleased to have some help with the healing supplies and potions, I’m sure,” sure enough he led her down the path and up to Adan’s hut. With a heavy rap upon the door Adan quickly opened the door.  


“Commander, what can I do for you today?” Adan groaned his arms folded over his chest tightly.  


“Relax Adan, I’ve brought by a healer. She is looking to help as best as she can,” he turned to her, “this is Sarah.”  


She smiled politely, “if you require any help at all, I can be of service. I’m not above picking elfroot all day,” she grinned widely watching Cullen flush slightly and Adan laugh.  


“This one has a sense of humor, I like her. I could use someone out there gathering more herbs. Spindleweed and elfroot are low these days. If you feel up to it, I have a large bag here you can have,” he dipped quickly back into the hut and returned quickly with a large leather bag, “here, fill this and return it. Then I’ll have you helping make potions if you are inclined to it,” he smiled his arms returned to their folded position over his chest.  


“I’d very much like to help Master Adan,” she bowed slightly excepting the bag. She needed to blend in and help. This would progress things along quickly enough. It also made her giggle when Adan laughed and Cullen’s eyes widened. She wasn’t the typical elf after all. She slung the bag over her shoulder the smell of worn leather coiling up into her nose. She always enjoyed that smell and she was loving this moment.  


“Right, light’s fading here soon so start first thing in the morning. Should have a couple full bags before the end of the day if you’re any good. Either way I have work to do, so if you two are done tying me up, I’d like to return to my work,” Adan looked back at both Cullen and Sarah, “good evening Commander, Sarah,” with that he shut the door.  
“Thank you for taking on the task, it isn’t a well sought after position and the Herald brings in as much as she can,” Cullen smiled waving for her continue with him, “over here is the tavern we’ve set up,” he pointed towards a large wooden building. She knew this one too, but now she’d need to use it. She nodded and Cullen continued along, showing her the bath house and latrine. She breathed in softly as he finished taking her down to the training yard and the walls of Haven, “here is the training yard. If you wish to practice your skills, it is available to you as well. The doors to Haven are closed regularly, though you won’t require special permission to come and go.”  


She smiled up, “thank you for the tour, Commander. I believe I have everything more or less figured out and I’m sure I’ll only get lost once or twice,” she giggled, “are you hungry? Have you eaten yet, at all today?” the words rolled far to easy off her tongue, and for a brief moment she wished to take them back.  


Cullen arched his eyebrow and looked down at her, “I have not eaten yet. Perhaps a better tour of the tavern?” he smiled.  


She could barely contain the grin that encompassed her face, “I would very much like that,” she half skipped with him back towards the tavern, people whispering and chatting as she walked by, “why do they whisper, Commander?”  


“You fell out of the Fade with the Herald, people do not know yet how to take you. They do know you are innocent, but not what you are. Please call me Cullen,” he seemed calmer now as they made their way to the doors of the tavern. He held it open for her as she walked inside.  


“I see, blame the elf,” she sighed. She had played as the Inquisitor, not a common elf and the stigma and trials that came with them, “perhaps you may be best to sit away from me, for your sake. I don’t wish you to suffer on my account.”  


Cullen touched her arm, “I do believe I came here with the intension of showing you the tavern,” he smiled, proud and tall, “let them speak, they shall be doing laps around the outer gate for hours,” he grinned waving over the serving girl.  


She couldn’t help by smile, “thank you Commander,” she looked over to see in his eyes the hint of pain returning and she knew. She needed to distract him for a while, “what do you recommend here? I am not used to things outside of a campfire,” she chuckled softly, “perhaps you could order for me.”  


He chuckled, “alright,” and when the girl came over he ordered her the same stew he was having, getting himself a stein of honey mead, he looked over to her, “I am not accustomed to what the Dalish drink.”  


This was when she felt the panic begin to swirl, this would test her knowledge of Dragon Age to it’s edges, “usually water, alcohol and wines are saved for celebrations. I trust you to order something, and I will be glad to try it,” she felt herself relax a touch when he turned and ordered a honey mead for her as well. It was alcohol and she was nervous, praying in her head that It wouldn’t be too potent.  


“Tell me, Sarah, what were you doing at the Conclave?” his voice was low as he leaned down a bit to meet her, his heavy bracers clinking on the wooden table.  


“My Keeper sent me to take stock of what was going on. She was concerned the fighting between the Templars and mages would escalate and our clan may get caught in the middle. I was to let her know if worse was coming so we could plan our move to get away from the fighting,” she breathed softly looking around as the room seemed to more or less ignore them, the occasional glance and sneer catching her eyes. She couldn’t help but see her Trevelyan in the corner with Blackwall, laughing and drinking.  


“Do you think of your clan? We have received word they are concerned for you, do you wish to respond?” Cullen leaned back as the server brought two steaming bowls of stew and large chunks of bread.  


She nibbled her lip a moment knowing the clan would be far enough out, “perhaps you could send word for me, please. The is the first time I have been able to see the world on my own, and the need here is great and the cause just,” she liked how that rolled off her tongue and was very pleased at how authentic it felt.  


Cullen dipped a ripped piece of bread into the thick brown gravy, “I can have that done and it is good to see you are indeed interested in helping. I believe our cause is just and we have the chance to really make a difference with our work,” he chuckled, “I’m starting to lecture again.”  


She laughed dipping a piece of the bread into the stew, “I did say I would love to hear one if you had one prepared,” she swirled the bread in the gravy and hungrily lapped up the dripping sauce. The savoury thick juice was exactly like the stews she’d made at home so many times with her mother. Potatoes, carrots, and seasonal vegetables chunked the bowl with a different meat. It was slightly sweet and reminded her of venison, “this is very good!”  


Again Cullen chuckled at her, “I suppose you’ve never had something like this before. It’s a common Fereldan ram stew. The cook makes it almost like my mother did when I was a child,” he smiled briefly before a furrow creased his brow, “do you have family?”  


She hadn’t expected to feel sorrow at those words. She had family alright, a mother and father back in the real world. Ones who’d always backed her and her many interesting ventures, from amateur writer, to graphic designer, to her dreams of going back to school. They had been her rock through every storm and now she was here, in a strange place, pretending to be her original character. She let out a long breath, “my clan is my family for the most part. I have no mother or father, and not a single sibling,” she looked up from her bowl to see him scanning her with his eyes. Those autumnal amber burst eyes that she had spent hours sighing over in fan art and screenshots. They were looking at her, searching her. She flushed softly as she looked over at him, “how about you? Is your family safe in amidst of this?” she focused back on her meal, savoring the wonderful reminder of her mother’s cooking.  


“My family is in South Reach, two sisters and a brother. They are experiencing the same hardships as everyone else with the Breach and demons, but for now they are safe. Pray they remain that way,” he looked back down and continued to dig into his meal, pausing briefly to take a swig of his ale.  


She drew in a deep breath and took a sip from her mug. It was bitter with just a hint of sweetness on the back of her tongue. It wasn’t something she’d willingly drink but it was a drink and the slight swirl in her head from the alcohol made her feel warm. She would continue to drink it, but be very wary as it was potent to her. A few moments passed as they dinned quietly, a bard plucking away on her lute, began to sing as she watched Trevelyan and Blackwall retire from the tavern, “Cullen?” she turned back to see him digging with the last scrap of bread to sop up the last of the delicious gravy, “where am I to stay? Was that hut mine?”  


Cullen finished chewing on his bread and took a quick sip to wash it all down, “yes, that is your cabin. The Herald has chosen to bunk down in the one beside it and we have the room to spare.”  


She nodded seeing the light from the sky fading and with her own belly full she was beginning to feel tired herself. She knew that soon Trevelyan would seek out the mages, or the Templars and soon they would be under attack. She’d need to collect enough elfroot to make potions for the wounded. She’d need to stock up that bag still slung over her back. That was her goal and she didn’t know how this would work. All her times playing the game, time had passed at Haven but how much it seemed like maybe a day, tops. Which left her with precious little time to figure out her magic, craft potions and supplies and ready for the march by Corypheus. It would be better if she could predict which faction was going to attack the camp. Either the Venatori and mages or the red Templars. She watched languidly as Cullen drained the last of his mug and relaxed slightly in his chair. She took another sip of the bitter drink, catching the hint of honey stronger on the next sip, “it’s late,” she sighed, “perhaps you should get some sleep,” the words felt empty and hollow. She felt alone and scared and it was showing.  


“It is becoming late yes. Are you retiring for the evening?” he looked to her, his hands folded neatly on the table.  


“Perhaps I should. It will be a long day of physical work tomorrow. Master Adan is expecting at least two bags from me, and I aim to bring him three,” she smiled, trying to lighten the mood she feared she was darkening.  


“Come, I shall walk you back to your cabin. Haven is still new to you and I do not wish you to become lost,” he smiled brightly, standing slowly and watching her intently.  


She stood, taking a final sip of the honey mead and this time it was much less bitter and the honey sweetness much more noticeable. It made her warm inside and she was thankful for it as they stepped out in the night air of Haven. The wintery air bit into her harshly and she shuttered very visibly. This didn’t escape Cullen’s notice as his voice caught her attention, “are you cold? I can have proper gear brought to your cabin. It mustn’t be as cold were you are from.”  


She chuckled, “no it wasn’t. Is it always so chilly here?” she smiled back up at him, “if you have warmer wear I would appreciate it,” she wrapped her arms around herself, realizing now how thin the cotton was. It was then she caught the wince he made, just as they reached her cabin, “Commander has your headache returned?”  


He sheepishly smirked and rubbed his neck, “its nothing, don’t expend yourself on my concern.”  


She sighed heavily and looked at him, “I won’t hear of it, come in for a moment,” she opened the door, her fireplace unlit and candles set about the room unlit. She focused hard, thinking of fire as she cast her hands at the fireplace and was very pleased with the logs burst into a soft flame, “have a seat, Commander,” she smiled pointing to the chair near a desk, she focused again and lit the candles, impressed with how it was coming for her. She watched patiently as Cullen shut the door and took the seat she had pointed at. She walked beside him, blowing on her fingers thinking of icy coolness and again pleased to find it came easily. Her finger tips now had a slight chill to them as she looked at him, “trust me?” she calmly drew in a deep breath.  


“Yes,” he smiled brightly back at her and relaxed his position in the chair.  


She carefully touched his temples again, rubbing tender circles over the very hot flesh. He was feverish, and his skin clammy. Damn lyrium withdrawal, she grumbled in her head as she focused on healing, soothing, taking the pain away, all while massaging her finger tips into his hair line, and slowly across his scalp. She realized her eyes were open and she looked down to see his were closed, and his mouth was a gape as she worked the spell through him. Surely this would help, surely this would make everything bearable. The only thing she was very pleased with, was that in all her play throughs she’d never once made him take lyrium and she knew Trevelyan wouldn’t allow him at Skyhold later. This brought her some peace.  


Cullen eventually reached up and gripped her wrists gently, “you should get some rest, this must be trying on you,” his eye lids were heavy with sleep and his body had fully relaxed.  


“I’m alright,” she relaxed in his grasp, “I am more concerned with your well being. Are you sick? You had a slight fever, and seem to be in pain,” she keenly watched as he looked away from her, shame in his eyes, “have you taken your lyrium today?” she was set to play the card now, see where it led.  


His eyes lit up, “I am no longer a Templar. How did you know?”  


He let her wrists go and she gripped his left bracer in her hands, “this emblem, I know it’s meaning. You’re a Templar, they take lyrium. These symptoms come from a lack of lyrium, am I wrong?” she stood before him watching his reaction.  


“As I said I am no longer a Templar,” he stood slowly, she stepped back to allow him room, “thank you for the healing spell Sarah, good night,” he quickly marched out of her hut, shutting the door behind him.  


Sighing and carefully plodded over to the bed. “Good job Sarah,” she groaned, “just scare him off why don’t you,” she began untying the wraps around her leg that made up her shoe, “tomorrow, we’ll see tomorrow. Have to get through this,” she untied her pants and pulled them off, tossing them over the chair Cullen had sat on. She removed the belt around her waist and pulled the tunic over her head, exposing a bra band. She reached into a chest on the floor and discovered a long nightgown. She was thankful it was warm and thick as she walked around blowing out the candles. She threw a couple more logs on the fire to ensure it would stay lit through the night, closed the couple windows and crawled into the bed. It was odd. A mix of straw and feathers, possibly pulled cotton fibres. It was soft and inviting and even though it wasn’t like home it was comfortable enough. She drew up the fur blanket and curled up. Tomorrow, she’d get a better idea of things tomorrow. She tossed and turned till she finally felt comfortable and drew in a deep breath. It was an eerie quiet night as she listened, aware that her ears could pick up more than her human ears had. She could hear the wind blowing through the trees surrounding Haven. The sound of a distant ram, trotting around. It all was peaceful and calm. Something she knew wouldn’t last, not here. She had to let the thought go before it kept her awake. She pulled the blanket up tight to her chin and closed her eyes, there was work to do tomorrow, lots of work to do. After all they’d have to get through all the game, its DLC and then she’d be able to get home. Possibly, likely, she scrunched her eyes up tightly, “don’t think about it,” she grumbled snuggling into the bedding, “just sleep.” She finally cleared her mind and within a few moments more the exhaustion coupled with coming down from her adrenaline rush helped her slip into sleep.


	2. Mages or Templars?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah is adapting to life in Haven, but its not all its cracked up to be. Perhaps she needs a little distraction

She nearly shot out of bed when she heard the door open, letting out a shocked shriek.  


“Oh, my lady, I’m so sorry! The Commander asked me to bring you these warm clothes to wear. I didn’t think I’d wake you, I am so sorry for the startle,” the same elven woman from yesterday shuttered as she placed the clothes on the desk.  


“No, no it’s quite alright. I am not used to sleeping like this, you did nothing wrong. Thank you,” she leaned forward, running her hand down her face, “is it early in the day or late in the morning?”  


“The sun has risen in the sky but not crested high,” the elven woman finished laying out the clothes, collected her discarded wear and bowed, “good day my lady,” she turned and calmly walked out the door, shutting it softly behind her.  


Sarah yawned and stretched, carefully pulling the blanket back from herself. She looked around the room and found a hair brush and some personal items in a basket on her desk. She hadn’t noticed it last night. Quickly dressing, layering her clothes, pleased as they fit her quite nicely. A long tunic with a heavy leather and fur lined over coat, thicker linen pants and wonderful fur lined boots. The boots were her favorite part, being so warm and comfortable. She brushed her hair, seeing now that it was just long enough to cover her shoulders. Tying it up in a bun on her head she slung the bag over her shoulder, having not felt hungry yet, and knowing Adan would be waiting for his elfroot. She quickly slipping out the door and walked down the stone steps to the large gate. Nodding and smiling at the guard as he opened the door for her and bid her good morning. She smiled back, returning his pleasant gesture. As she walked out the gates she noticed the training yard, seeing Cullen standing over the recruits, adjusting this man and that woman in their use of swords and shields. She smiled as she watched him yell out, “that’s a shield in your hand, block with it! If that man were your enemy you’d be dead!”  


She stopped over, “how are you feeling this morning Commander? I wanted to thank you for the warmer clothes, it will make my task much easier this morning.”  


“I am well this morning, thank you,” he smiled shyly, reaching up to rub the base of his neck over his furry mantle.  


She grinned knowing the signs and very pleased to see he was slightly flushed about his cheeks, “I’m glad to hear it Commander. I’ll be over in the woods just over there,” she pointed over his shoulder, “gathering elfroot. If you have need of me that is where I shall be,” she didn’t tarry knowing that soon things would change, soon it would be stone walls and real war. She thought she could feel his eyes on her back as she traipsed down the dirty path towards the snowy area around the outer wall. She knew there were several dozen elfroot plants around there and unlike the game a single plant wouldn’t count as one. She’d be able to pluck each leaf off by hand and fill the bag before lunch. Opening the bag, she was pleased to find a small pair of metal plant sheers. This would make her job go even faster. Setting about the first plant, knowing by its tell tale curvy tendril with multiple large leaves that it was what she was looking for. She quickly worked plucking all of the twelve large leaves off. As she placed them into the bag she mused to herself, “I wonder if these will regenerate once the Herald comes and goes,” she was beginning to pick up on the signs. When Trevelyan was away the camp acted in real time, when Trevelyan returned it was in the same loop of activity. It made her nervous thinking that soon Trevelyan would return and soon she’d be going after the mages of Redcliffe. She worked quickly, thinking about how this would all play out and how she’d manage to survive the coming attack. Soon her bag was full and she hauled it up over her shoulder, trudging back down the path towards Adan’s hut. She noticed then that Cullen wasn’t at his usual post. It made her think for a moment, looking about as the men continued to train and people moved about semi robotically. Trevelyan was back and they were in a war room meeting! This could only mean she was set to get the mages! She picked up her pace and rushed towards Adan’s hut, knocking lightly on the door she opened it wide. Adan was reading over a scroll at his desk, “Master Adan, I have a full bag of elfroot,” she smiled as she lugged it into the hut.  


Adan rose slowly from his seat, “great! Come over here and I’ll teach you the elfroot regeneration potion that the Herald wishes everyone to use,” he pulled over a large bowl full of warm water, “first we need to clean the leaves, then you’ll grind them down in the mortar and pestle on the table there,” he pointed just over her shoulder to a work bench area, “then we will add the elfroot juice and paste to this large pot. It needs to be heated slowly and stirred constantly, till it becomes a dark green. Then it needs to be cooled. We must do the same with the batch of Spindleweed she brought in and embrium. Then we’ll add it to this large flask of pure clear alcohol. We have to cook it just till it bubbles, cool it and bottle it. I’ve already sent the order for a large batch of bottles to Harriet. They should be here before lunch.”  


Sarah smiled and drew in a deep breath, “it’ll be a lot of work, but if it saves lives I look forward to getting a bit dirty,” she began emptying the bag of leaves into the large bowl of warm water. She took off her overcoat and hung in on the rack by the door and set to work. Adan helped here and there but he was constantly being bothered by all kinds of visitors. People looking for potions for all kinds of things and Sarah did her best to pay it little attention as she finished washing all the leaves. As she began to fill the larger mortar up with leaves she watched as Adan took the bowl and tossed the water out the window. He then dipped outside with the bowl and came back, the bowl filled with snow. She knew what he was going to do and she smiled at the simple logic of it. She began mashing and grinding the leaves, a sticky, earthy bright green paste appearing in the bottom of the mortar. She added more and more, draining the juice into the large pot as Adan carefully melted the snow by the fireplace and brought it back to the table. He added the Spindleweed leaves to the water and let them soak and Sarah tended to the last of the elfroot leaves.  


“How’s the elfroot coming?” Adan peered over watching her work intently.  


“I believe this is the last of it. I just need to get it all into the pot,” she finished mashing the last of the leaves and scraped it into the pot with her bare hand, “the elfroot is ready Master Adan, do you want me to get the pot boiling or work on the Spindleweed?” she smiled wiping the sweat from her brow, her fingers stained a bright green.  


“Start washing and preparing the Spindleweed. I’ll get the elfroot going,” he took the pot off the work bench and over to the fireplace.  


Again, she began washing and mashing the Spindleweed, as Adan brought her another pot to put the ground leaves and juice in. After a few moments, she saw Adan remove the elfroot from the fire a set it outside, continuing to stir as he went. She focused and continued her work set on getting it done as quickly as she could. By the time, Adan came back in with the cooled pot, she was done with the Spindleweed, “all ready with the Spindleweed, Master Adan. Should I get the embrium?”  


Adan’s eyes lit up, “you are the hardest worker I’ve had to date,” he gripped the pot of spindleweed and headed towards the fireplace, “the embrium is over in a sack beside the workbench. You’ll need fresh water, are you capable of handling that?” his usually sarcastic tone was softer, happier.  


“Yes, Master Adan,” she grinned as she gripped the bowl and headed outside, spreading the water over by the bright green puddle Adan had created earlier. She quickly began scooping snow into the bowl, watching as people walked by, chatting with each other calmly. She even noticed Solas. He was standing watching her carefully, “good afternoon, hahren,” she bowed before lifting the bowl up to take back inside. Solas didn’t speak, only nodding back to her as she dipped back inside the hut. She brought the bowl beside Adan and slowly kept rotating it on the ground before the fire, careful not to get it too hot. Adan watched with a smile as he continued to stir the spindleweed.  


Once melted and warm she placed it on the desk and went for the embrium. Repeating the same process. As she was ready to grind the bright red flower heads Adan plunked another pot beside her, “last bit and we’re nearly there. I’ll have someone bring us some lunch, you’ve earned a bit of a break,” he turned and headed out the door, disappearing for a moment. She kept grinding and preparing the embrium as Adan reappeared in the hut, grumbling under his breath.  


“Is there a problem, Master Adan?” she wiped her face over her sleeve, sticky plant juice and sweat clinging to her face.  


“Aye, they’ve got a couple injured fools in the training area. I am fresh out of healing potions till this is done and our mage healers we have seemed to have damn well disappeared,” he grunted as he lifted the pot from the table, “we need to get this done, and it needs to be done hours ago.”  


“I can go. I have healing spells I can try,” she smiled up at him, brushing her hands over her pants, “unless you need me here?”  


Adan’s eyes lit up, “perfect! I’ll have this boiled and cooling by the time you get back, the bottles should arrive, our lunch and then we can get the rest done. Go to the training yard,” he waved his hand at her beginning to stir the pot on the fire.  


Sarah drew in a deep breath and made her way towards the training yard. Seeing Cullen standing beside his lieutenant, two men on the ground before them. She broke into a run heading over, “I’m here to help, what’s happened?” she bent down before the two men.  


“This one is complaining of his ankle, and the other has an issue with his knee,” groaned Cullen, rubbing his fingers over his nose bridge.  


She reached down and touched the one man’s ankle, his boot removed and beside him. She felt around and could vividly feel the break in the bone. She focused again closing her eyes and envisioned the bones coming back together and healing, she heard the man grunt as her hands hovered just over his ankle. Within a few minutes, she felt the kick back from her magic, “there, that should do it. I’d recommend taking it easy for a day or two. Just to be sure,” she turned back to Cullen, “he broke his ankle,” then returned to give her attentions to the second man checking his knee. It was hot and inflamed, “I believe he’s over extended his knee, give me a moment,” she again envisioned his knee being repaired and back to what it was and hovered her hand over his knee. Within a few seconds, she felt the kick back and opened her eyes, “there, be tender with it,” she smiled again wiping her forehead off on her sleeve.  


Cullen reached down and helped her stand up. She looked up at him seeing the pain behind his eyes again and his face was slightly ashen, “do you feel well Commander, you are very pale,” she straightened her shirt as the men busied themselves with their healed fellows.  


“I am fine,” he sighed, “everyone back to training!” he growled at the men and women standing around him. As the people scattered and began resuming their actions he turned back to her, “if you would take a moment, I would appreciate it greatly,” his voice was low and his cheeks flushed pink.  


“For you, always,” she smiled reaching up to touch his temples, focusing on taking the pain away and healing his fever. She closed her eyes and made sure that everything was feeling better before she relaxed her magic. When she felt the kickback she also felt tired, she regretted not getting something to eat earlier. She felt slightly dizzy as she opened her eyes, “how is that Commander?” she touched her forehead and tried to steady herself.  


“Are you alright Sarah?” his voice rung in her ears as she tried to steady herself.  


“I’m just a little tired that’s all. I should get back to Master Adan he has lunch coming for us. This is my lesson for being a silly child and skipping breakfast,” she sighed.  


Watching over her fingers she saw Cullen let out a huff, as his lips pursed together, “you need to eat, to keep up your strength. I shall have breakfast brought round to your cabin tomorrow morning,” he smiled brightly despite his rough tone of voice.  


“Thank you, Cullen,” she smiled, “I have to get back, I shall check on you later,” she slowly walked away heading back to Adan’s hut set to finish the potions. Quickly entering she quipped, “they’ve been tended to Master Adan, what shall we do now?”  


Adan smiled, “have lunch my dear, then everything will be ready to bottle,” he waved her over to a tray with sandwiches and a still steaming bowl of soup. A large bottle sat open on the tray with two glasses filled with a deep red liquid.  


Sarah sighed a low breath of relief as she took the bowl and a half a sandwich. Dipping the sandwich into the soup she hungrily ate, “thank you,” she managed between bites.  


Adan chuckled warmly as he watched her eagerly gobble down the sandwich and soup, “did you get breakfast this morning?”  


Sarah stopped for a moment, her cheeks flushed bright red, “no I foolishly thought I needed to get started this morning and went straight out to begin collecting elfroot,” she chuckled softly taking a glass filled with the red juice, “I will never do that again.”  


Adan laughed again, finishing his sandwich he brushed his hands off on the apron of robe, “if you plan on working this hard everyday you’ll need the energy. When you’re ready we’ll begin filling the bottles,” he reached under the workbench beside him and pulled out a crate filled with little glass bottles and placed them on top of the desk. Reaching down again he pulled out another crate filled with cork stoppers.  


Sarah watched and took a sip from the glass. She never liked the taste of wine, it was always bitter to her taste buds and she’d never understood when people said it was made with this fruit or had undertones of this grape. All she could taste was something bitter and gross, but this wine was different. It was everything her wine drinking friends had said. It tasted sweet, with the clear flavour of fresh seasonal fruit. She smiled over at Adan, “ready to begin when you are Master Adan,” she wiped her lips on the back of her hand and set to begin.  


Adan pulled the large flask up and poured it into a giant pot, “grab that ladle beside you,” he pointed to the wall just over her left side, “we’ll fill these bottles quick enough. Then we’ll restock the supply cabinet, and hand out three per soldier. If you wouldn’t mind, could you handle the soldiers?”  


Sarah reached over and gripped the odd shaped metal ladle and passed it to Adan. He motioned her to sit beside him and together they filled and corked all the potion into bottles. Adan began filling her bag while she filled the large cabinet against the wall.  


“In that cabinet is a large medical pouch. I no longer require it, take it,” Adan waved his hand as he continued to focus on his task.  


Sarah pulled the leather pouch out of the cabinet and strapped it around her waist. She carefully untied the top flap and looked inside. There were several bandages and a couple lyrium potions already in it, “thank you Master Adan,” she smiled, “this will come in handy if I am to be called to more training accidents.”  


Adan chuckled as he finished with her bag, “good. If you have the energy, please deliver these to the training yard. Then you may go about the last of your day as you wish. I believe we are stocked well for a couple days at least.”  


Sarah nodded and carefully picked up the large leather bag, it was far heavier than she thought, “I’ll get this done right away Master Adan, good day,” she smiled as she grunted and struggled out the door, much to the laughter of Adan. She continued to struggle on her way to the training yard stopping several times to catch her breath. Many people passed her by and not one offered to help or spoke to her, she even swore she heard someone refer to her as a ‘dirty knife ear’. She tried not to cry as she finally made it to the training yard, Cullen standing tall and barking out the final orders of the day.  


“Maker’s breath! Did no one offer you help?” Cullen sprung into action and quickly reached for the bag.  


Sarah sniffled trying to hide the pain from him, “it’s alright, I made it,” she tried hard to plaster a smile upon her face as she began untying the flap of the large leather pouch, “I brought potions for the soldiers, three per soldier, says Master Adan,” she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. She heard him grunt as he knelt beside her and touched her hand.  


“No one offered you help, I am so sorry Sarah,” he held her hand for a moment.  


She bit her lip, and struggled to hold back tears as she peered into his eyes, “its… I’m just an elf right…” she gulped hard bringing her hand to her mouth, “we need to get these to the soldiers… it’s my last task on the day, and I don’t want to let Master Adan down,” she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and began counting out groups of three. She couldn’t look at Cullen, all she wanted to do was run. She quickly started handing him groups of three potions without looking up. She kept focused on counting and passing while Cullen proceeded to take them. Finally, she got to the bottom of her bag only a dozen small bottles left. She stood up, lifting the bag over her shoulder, “did you take for yourself Commander,” she continued to look away from him, feeling a shame she didn’t ever expect to feel.  


“Yes, I have my three, thank you Sarah,” his voice was soft and warm, but she still didn’t look up.  


“You are very welcome, Commander. If you will excuse me I have to go,” she didn’t wait for him to utter another word as she raced straight through the gates and up to her cabin. Slamming the door behind herself she slid down the door, breaking into a mess of sobs and tears. She had been mercilessly teased and tormented as a child and when she played the Dragon Age games she had always chosen an elf character. It was her way of seeking redemption, to prove to everyone that an elf could save the world, could be just as good as a human. Now she was feeling precisely why the elves in the game always seemed so cold and mean. Years of this, day in and day out would make anyone mean and cold. She dried her eyes best she could and took the potions out of the large leather bag, placing them in her new medical pouch.  


She stood up and looked outside, it was late in the afternoon. The sun was beginning to crest over the ridge and shortly it would be night fall. She didn’t care though as she shut her windows and hung her bag up. She sat at her desk and began reading over a book left there, something about the herbs and plants of Thedas. It was dry reading and she’d read the codex entry in the game before. She really wasn’t interested in it and part of her wanted to toss it into the fireplace. This wasn’t going to make anything easier and she was getting restless. She slung the bag back over her shoulder and made her way to Adan’s hut. She slipped quietly inside, seeing him asleep at the workbench, she grabbed her overcoat off the hook and slipped back out of the hut. She took the bag off her shoulder and set it on her foot as she pulled on her overcoat and tied it up. Then slinging the bag over her shoulder, she slowly trudged out to the front of the outer wall. She saw the men clearing the field and heading inside as she walked by, not looking to make eye contact with anyone.  


“Sarah!” his voice rang loudly behind her enough to cause her to jump.  


“Maker!” she spun to see Cullen running up to her. She gripped the strap to her bag tightly, “good evening Commander, is there something I can help you with? Do you need me to relieve your headache?” she tried to smile.  


“No, I require nothing but your time. You were upset earlier and I would like to help if I can,” he smiled at her, his hands resting on his sword hilt.  


“I doubt you can change human’s opinion of elves across Thedas Commander, but I appreciate the thought,” she smiled up at him seeing a pained look in his eyes, “I’ll be alright, just something to get used to.”  


“You aren’t like other elves,” he got closer to her as people walked by, “you want to help and are sensitive to people. Most elves are cold and uncaring,” he tried to redirect her towards the gates.  


Sarah let out a soft laugh, “I’m a majestic unicorn,” she raised her hand to her lips, “come now Commander you don’t want to be seen cavorting with a dirty knife ear now do you?” she began to twist the strap of the bag around her hand. She looked up to see Cullen’s face twist up in a furrowed fit of anger.  


“Sarah Lavellan, you are no such thing and I will hear not another word of it. If I hear of anyone referring to you as such they shall be doing latrine duty for the next month, on top of a large list of exercises I can assure you will be most unpleasant,” he drew in a deep breath and calmed down, “please join me for dinner, I enjoy your company.”  


She blinked rapidly looking up at him, “I would love to have dinner with you,” she felt the smile spread across her face and threaten to engulf her ears, “can we stop by my hut to drop off this bag? I would rather not carry it everywhere,” she smiled as she watched him nod as he led the way. Slowly and in silence for the first part they walked up the path, through the large gate and towards her hut. Once there she quickly ran in and placed the bag on her desk. She smiled and walked back out to see him talking to Cassandra.  


“Cassandra, I am well thank you for your concern. I have been seeing a healer, it is under control,” he smiled warmly enough to her.  


“It is good you are looking out for your health finally Commander,” she turned to seeing Sarah stand a few steps away from Cullen, “is this the new healer you spoke of?”  


Sarah nibbled her bottom lip and waited for Cullen to answer, “yes, she is. She was the one that fell through the rift with Trevelyan. She’s been helping Adan at his clinic. They just finished a large batch of potions, enough to outfit our entire group of soldiers,” he was beaming in the low light of the evening, smiling at Sarah, “Sarah Lavellan, this is Lady Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast.”  


Sarah swallowed hard and bowed slightly, “your worship.”  


Cassandra waved her hand and seemed to give a half chuckle, “please call me Cassandra and there is no need to bow before me. If you and Adan got the potions ready for the entire camp and our men, then you have my thanks. We will stand a much better chance tomorrow with Magister Alexius,” she grunted turning back to Cullen and ignoring Sarah, “be prepared either way for the Mages to join our cause. Josephine is already working on procuring a line of lyrium for when the time comes. I trust you will be alright with the mages, Commander,” her voice lingered on the last words as she carefully looked at Sarah.  


“Yes, I have no issues with mages Cassandra, you are already aware of this. I simply will remind you we need proper precautions in place. We are close to the Breach and the threat of possession is high. They cannot be left unchecked, not just for the sake of the people of Haven but for themselves as well,” he turned back to Sarah, “if that is all, we were heading to dinner. Care to join us Cassandra?”  


Sarah watched intently as Cassandra stood tall and stoic. She was amazed by her. She was such a strong female in the game and here she was before her, even larger than life! Her strong stance, high cheekbones and piercing steel blue eyes. She couldn’t help but be in awe and silently fangirling in her head, “thank you for the invitation Commander, but there are some letters I must take care of this evening. Good night, Sarah, Commander.”  


Cullen turned to Sarah, “I hope you weren’t intimidated by her. Most people find her as such,” his scarred lip curled up into a half grin, “she would run me through if people found out she was a harmless kitten.”  


Sarah chuckled softly blushing as she followed him down the path, “your secret is safe with me Cullen,” inside she was beginning to worry. If she was right it would mean that tomorrow morning Trevelyan would be setting out to Redcliffe to meet with Alexius and set off the ‘In A Hushed Whisper,’ quest. If she’d built enough prestige she would be able to go ahead to ‘In Your Heart Shall Burn,’ then all of Haven would be going up in fire and death. She had at least two days, and in two days she’d have to gather as much elfroot as she could and begin brewing as many potions as she could. She was glad for the warmer clothes, that would make the frozen escape easier but she had no weapon. No staff to speak of and no bow or quiver. She had to think about it for a moment, half ignoring Cullen and whatever he was discussing on their way to dinner.  


She followed him inside and sat at the table, “Cullen, I had a lovely glass of red wine this afternoon with the lunch Adan brought. I have no idea what it was called but it tasted of summer fruit, fresh and sweet.”  


Cullen chuckled, “you have had Vint-9 Rowan’s Rose. It’s a favorite drink of Adan’s. They keep quite the story house of it just for him. Keeps him for verbally murdering half of Haven. Though since you have arrived he’s been much easier to deal with and borderline friendly even,” Cullen leaned in beside her, “you have done wonderful things in a short period of time. It would normally take Adan a week to get out that number of potions you did today. He would have been a sour menace during it as well.”  


Sarah blushed, “please, I was only trying to help. We face dangerous times,” she stopped briefly nearly catching herself spill the coming attack, “with the Breach still above us and Maker knows who caused it still out there.”  


The serving lady came over and took the order from Cullen, walking right past Sarah, “do not worry I placed an order for us both. It seems you fade into the background here,” his face knotted up in a scowl, “which is absolutely wrong, might I add. With the work, you have done, you should be treated better.”  


She felt bold knowing in two days time they would be under fire, “your opinion of me is the only one I care for,” she flushed bright red as she said it and had to look away before fear seized her throat. She waited for a few moments before looking over at Cullen who was slightly pink about his cheeks and under his chin. She licked her lips and went to say something further when the serving girl brought their drinks and food. A section of seared meat, mashed potatoes and a thick rich gravy with a bit of boiled carrots. Her mouth watered at the sight and wonderful smell of it. A large glass of red liquid before her. She didn’t waste much time before she dug in. The meat tender and moist, falling apart on her fork. A large basket of bread was plunked down between the two.  


“Hungry?” Cullen chuckled, the moment of awkwardness passed by Sarah’s sudden burst of frenzied food intake.  


“Mhmm,” she grinned with a mouth stuffed full of hot meat and rich savory sauce.  


She watched as Cullen took his time eating, seemingly savoring the atmosphere rather than the food. Maryden played her lute and sang song after song while Varric sat in the corner with Sera playing Wicked Grace. She even noticed Solas pop in quietly over at the bar, ordering his meal, tossing a few coins on the table before he melted away out through the front doors. She continued to eat till her belly nearly screamed for her to stop, it tasted so good she wanted all of it. She finally gave up and leaned back in the chair, “perhaps my eyes are bigger than my belly,” she chuckled rubbing her stomach tenderly, licking her lips clean.  


Cullen chuckled, “if I didn’t know any better you appeared to have been deprived food a whole day. Tomorrow you must have breakfast, especially with the amount of work you put in,” he smiled swiping a piece of bread over his now bare plate.  


“I am hoping to practice a bit with a bow tomorrow. Though I come to realize I have none, nor a staff. I am unsure of how to correct that and to be fair, slightly concerned to try,” she honestly felt lost. How does one come across these things, usually you loaded into the game with something or they lay in a chest somewhere.  


“I shall have a bow and quiver for you and a staff if you want. If you feel up to it tonight, perhaps you could take some target practice. The training field will be empty and you won’t have to worry about onlookers,” his voice was soft as he drained the last of his mug.  


“I think I’ll need to relax a bit first, I may have ate a bit more than I should have,” she sighed, feeling her stomach gurgle. She looked up to notice Cullen was staring at her, languidly watching her. It made her cheeks heat up, “did I say something wrong?”  


Cullen broke his gaze and flushed slightly, his hand racing to the back of his neck to work a knotted muscle, “I... uh... no not at all. If you wish to retire this evening I understand,” his eyes darted around the room as if he was seeing who had noticed his behavior.  


Sarah smiled, the room was unaware of him or her. They were all to busy carrying on in their own ways, “I am not quite ready for rest yet. Perhaps a walk? To help settle the stomach!” she smiled drinking down her glass. The taste was very much to her liking and it made her feel warm. If she hadn’t indulged in her dinner so much she may have felt an entirely different heat inside.  


Cullen rose from the table and waited for her to follow. They casually strolled the pathway down to the outer wall, and out into the tree line. Finally stopping just at the frozen lake, “it’s beautiful,” Cullen murmured filling the silence at last with sound.  


“The way the light plays off the ice, it really is,” she couldn’t help but notice how clear the water was. Even frozen you could almost see to the bottom of the small lake. She drew in a deep breath, the cold air tickling her nose as the wafting scent of burning wood floated upon the light evening breeze. It reminded her of sitting by a fireplace, and drinking hot chocolate on cold winter nights as a child. The outside air would blow down the chimney and rush along the floor, just as the heat from the fire would lick at her toes. A wash of cold and hot, mixing to a comfortable warmth. She sighed and started to relax, nearly forgetting where she was.  


“Are you alright?” Cullen’s voice broke her back to the moment, and his warm breath cast a puff of steam.  


“Oh yes, sorry. I was remembering a childhood moment. I’m fine,” she smiled up at him, his eyes danced a bright molten gold in the light of the moon outside of Haven.  
“Happy childhood memories?” he said his voice softer still.  


“Yes, very much so. We have very few of them to cling to in times like this,” she smiled knowing his childhood ended at thirteen, “did you have a happy childhood?” she wanted to get him talking needed to remember this was just a game.  
He sighed at her words, looking over the frozen lake, “I suppose I did, though I left to become a Templar at thirteen,” his face fell slightly, “those were different times.”  


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” she looked over the lake, “tell me, did you play on the ice as a child?” she felt full of energy and if this was a game, she was going to have some fun before it ended.  


“Played on the ice?” he gave her a half-cocked look before looking back over the ice, “it has been years since...”  


“Have you skated on the ice before?” she grinned, watching him give her a knowing look. It was a shot in the dark after all. There was head canon that Fereldan children skated upon the ice in winter but there was no concrete way of knowing. Seeing him give a smile and nod, made her heart skip a beat, “did you want to try?” she nibbled on her lip, eagerly wanting to jump on the frozen lake. She knew it was solid, her characters many times over had raced across the lake and jumped upon it and never had a reaction.  


“I haven’t skated on ice since I was a very small boy, I fear I may not be so good at it anymore,” he chuckled, “and I haven’t the slightest idea where we would get ice skates at this hour.”  


Sarah thought for a moment and remembered the scene from Frozen when Elsa made ice skates for Anna using her magic. Perhaps, just perhaps she could do the same, at the least she was going to try, “let me try something,” she stepped onto the ice and reached down to her boots. She focused hard, melding the image in her head until she looked down and saw a perfect, solid ice skate blades on her boots. She grinned happily back at Cullen, “please!”  


Cullen seemed to hesitate for a moment before stepping onto the ice. He took a couple slippery steps towards her then waited calmly after giving her a nod. Leaning down she produced another perfect set of ice blades.  


She didn’t hesitate. She loved ice skating and it had been a long time since she had been on ice this perfect, under a blanket of stars. She grinned as she pushed off and started spinning around. She was giggling as she raced around the pond, “come on Cullen, it’s amazing!” She wasn’t paying any attention to anything at that moment, just caught up in the feel of the icy air on her face and the smell of burning wood. The sound of a loud thud and air being rapidly expelled from a large set of lungs brought her back to the moment, “oh Maker!” she rushed over to Cullen’s side as he lay on his back nearly in the center of the pond.  


“I’m alright,” he groaned slowly lifting himself up into a sit, “perhaps it’s been far too long since I’ve tried this,” he winced as he went to try to stand.  


“Come let me help you,” she took his hands in hers, “it’s easy once you remember,” she began to skate slowly backwards, “push off to the side with your blade. It’s not a foot, you can’t walk on ice,” she smiled as he gripped her hands tighter, “just one foot at a time, there you go,” she giggled as he slowly started to skate, she loosened her grip on his hands, “you have it Commander!” she was beaming as he began to slowly pick up speed, “nice and easy, don’t be a hero,” she giggled as he half slipped and his hands clapped down tightly on her hips. She hissed slightly from the sting of his large hands, “careful big guy,” she chuckled seeing his face stain red. He was silent for a bit as he poured intense focus on perfecting his strides all the while still holding her hips and looking down at his feet.  


“Commander you need to look up, or you’ll run us into a snow bank,” she giggled as he finally looked up, into her eyes. The scowl of intense focus broken for a quick moment before he let out a sharp intake of breath. Instead of the words he had meant to say, he launched them both into the snow bank on the far edge of the frozen pond.


	3. Prepare to Fight

Sarah snickered mercilessly between gasping for breath, his heavy breast plate digging into her rib cage as he fumbled to try to stand, falling down a couple more times. Finally, she was able to manoeuver around his frame, “here let me get the blades off. We can walk back,” she reached into her pouch and pulled out a small blade. Carefully she slipped it between the ice and his boots, prying off the make shift skate. She couldn’t help but giggle as he stood stammering, his face a bright red and way too many apologizes on his lips. She quickly pried the ice off her shoes and stood beside him, “I’m fine Commander, no harm done,” she placed the blade carefully back in her pouch and with a little help climbed the small embankment of the lake, returning to the worn dirt trail.  


“I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention, Maker’s breath,” he sighed brushing snow from his mantle.  


She was dusting off her overcoat, “I’m alright. I may be small but I’m tough,” she giggled again as his face turned an impossibly darker shade of red, “come on, let’s find me a bow. A healthy target competition? It’s far less dangerous than the ice skating idea.”  


Cullen peered at her and seemed to calm slightly, the color in his face returning more to a normal tone, “I can assist you in that. The blacksmith, Harriet, has left several bows in the training yard for just such a thing,” he smiled, seeming more in his element.  


“Perfect! How about something simple? Twenty arrows, and the one with the most arrows closest to the center of the target wins?” she grinned. High school archery had been the best time of her life. From the instant, she picked up the bow in high school she was a natural. Usually, easily beating out the other kids in competition. It didn’t hurt that she was highly competitive either.  


“Come now a Dalish elf against an ex-templar, I do not think that is quite fair to me,” he chuckled, “I am sure you could beat me with your eyes closed, after all Templars aren’t known as archers,” he directed her to a stand with several bows on it.  


“And I haven’t shot a bow in, Maker I don’t want to admit how long,” she chuckled picking up a couple bows, testing their draw back before selecting one, “plus these are not Dalish bows, they are human in construct. No ironbark, or elven craftsmanship. The draw weight may be entirely different. I believe we are equally challenged at this rate,” she grinned counting out arrows for both of them, and setting them in a quiver nearly forty feet from the target.  


Again, Cullen chuckled as he prepared to knock his arrow, “fine, though if you beat me mercilessly I will deny it on principal,” he laughed heartily at his joke.  


Sarah smiled knocking her arrow, “we shall see. If you beat me, I shall never live it down. Oh, to be beaten by a shemlin with a bow, the Maker will smile poorly on me,” she snickered pulling the arrow taught and gauging her shot. She focused ahead, seeing where the target was, and trying to adjust for the slight breeze off the frozen lake. She heard Cullen’s arrow fly and strike the target, and she licked her lips. Taking a deep breath, she released the arrow and was pleased to see it strike true, the dead heart of the target. At least somethings remain muscle memory, she felt relieved as she picked up another arrow and within what felt like a few moments she had finished her stack of arrows. Looking over at Cullen’s quiver, he too had finished his, “come let us get a closer look at who is the marksman,” she grinned, slinging the bow over her shoulder.  


They both approached the targets and began counting, “you under rated your skill with a bow, Commander,” she chuckled as they finished counting, “what is your final tally?”  


“Seventeen out of twenty,” he grinned proud of his effort.  


“I win by one, eighteen out of twenty. Well shot and seeing as you were against a Dalish, I would say it is a draw,” she smiled widely as she began pulling her arrows out of the target.  


Cullen huffed, “you are placating me,” he began removing his arrows from the target.  


“Never,” she said more seriously, “you are no archer, and to have kept so close a score to mine, it shows your skill. Or at the least your ability to adapt to your situation. You are very good Commander, never doubt yourself,” she finished hauling the last arrow out of the straw target, and turned to place them in the larger bin when she felt his hand on her shoulder.  


“I know who I am, but thank you for your kind words,” he smiled, relaxing his grip and letting his hand fall away, “perhaps you should retire for the night, it is becoming very late,” his face was pensive as he spoke, belaying what he wanted to say.  


Sarah nodded and placed her arrows back in their bin, and the bow back on it’s training rack, “I had a lovely evening Cullen,” she smiled as he put his arrows and bow away, “I would love to spend more time with you... if you want I mean,” she stammered, then slapped herself in the forehead with her palm.  


Cullen smiled and began walking her to her hut, “I would like that.”  


For the entire way back they were quiet, seemingly lost in a conversation neither was having out loud. Once they reached Sarah’s hut Cullen opened the door for her, “good night Sarah,” he bowed his head slightly to her.  


“Thank you, Cullen,” she bowed slightly at the hip, “are you in any pain, before I retire I mean,” she stammered, watching him for a moment.  


“I am fine, thank you for your offer. Rest well,” he smiled again and without another word, he turned, shutting the door softly behind himself as he walked off towards the Chantry.  


Sarah sighed heavily and began tossing a couple logs into her fireplace. A wave of her hands and the fire was lit. Undressing she slipped on the long night gown. Tomorrow she would try the bath house, and then get back to work. Because one night, they would be facing the destruction of Haven. The thought sent shivers down her spine but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She crawled into her bed and let out a long yawn. Perhaps she was more tired than she originally thought, this was the most exercise she’d received in a long time and it felt good to be doing hands on work. She reached down and pulled the heavy fur blanket up to her neck, she shuffled around, and curled up until she was comfortable. Within a few moments, she was dead asleep.  


She woke more easily in the morning than before, minus the stiffness of her body and the stinging pain in her ribs as she drew in a breath. She sat up in bed and let out a chuckle as she lifted her night gown, a large dark bruise bloomed over the bottom her of ribcage and ran the width of her chest, “his breast plate would fit this pattern nicely,” she chuckled, hissing as her ribs stung sharply, “bruised ribs too,” she took in a deep breath and focused her energy on her ribcage, and slowly the stinging dissipated. She nervously looked around, she wanted to try to use the bath house but how? She’d never done such a thing before and she was nervous not to appear awkward. Carefully she collected some clothes and a new set of underclothes. She laid it all out and sat on her bed, “how do I…” a sharp knock on her door snapped her out of her thoughts and nearly toppled her off the bed as she let out a startled shriek.  


The door burst open and Cullen came flying into the room, a tray of food held tightly in his one hand, his other firmly gripping the hilt of his sword, “Sarah are you alright? I heard a scream... oh sweet Maker!”  


She started giggling as his eyes laid upon her in her night gown, “oh Commander, you simply startled me! I wasn’t expecting anyone this morning and I was preparing to go to the bath house,” she chuckled as he set the tray down on the desk, his cheeks emblazed in scarlet and his hand fumbling with the collar of his armor, “I apologize. I am not used to your human’s bath houses,” yes that’s it, this will give me the how to, she thought quickly, “I was attempting to figure out the best way to get there and what was the proper human custom. In the clan we simply went down to a small stream in the summer, and we help each other in the winter to avoid anyone getting frost sickness.”  


Cullen cleared his throat and attempted to avert his gaze from her, “you wear dirty clothing to the bath house, remove the clothing there and bathe. Typically, one dries and dresses in the bath house. It is frowned upon to roam around naked or in limited clothes,” his face with still very flushed and his voice was shaky as he spoke.  


“Thank you, Commander, that is most enlightening. It is a good thing you told me of such things, I may have ended up walking the way in not but a towel. Thank you for saving me the embarrassment, and potentially offensive act,” she smiled trying not to laugh at his overly adorable blushing, “you are quite handsome when you are flustered Cullen,” she giggled, crossing her legs on the bed.  


“I… uh... yes,” he stammered trying desperately to find himself, “I should let you bathe and dress. I was bringing about some breakfast as you skipped yours yesterday,” he roughly pointed over to the tray on her desk.  


“My sincerest thank you. I will come find you later, perhaps after I have eaten. How are you feeling today Commander?” she began to stand, reaching down for yesterday’s pants and tugging them up under her night gown.  


“I… Maker’s breath, I will speak with you later, forgive me,” he quickly marched out of her cabin, the door shutting behind him.  


Sarah couldn’t help but giggle as she walked over to the tray. A section of fruit, a couple boiled eggs, a hunk of pan fried meat and some bread. She felt her stomach growl as she looked at it. Definitely, eat first then bathe, she grinned sitting at the desk. After a few moments of sitting in silence munching away there was another knock on the door, this time soft, “come in,’ she mumbled with a mouth full of bread and egg.  


“My lady, I am here to take the clothes for washing,” a young elven girl looked up at her, standing with her hands neatly folded in her lap.  


“I plan on bathing after I eat, could you come back then please? I’ll leave the dirty clothes bundled by the door for you,” Sarah wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and spoke calmly.  


The young girl nodded and smiled, “yes my lady, I will return then,” she bowed at the hip slightly and left her hut.  


Sarah resumed her meal deep in thought, she was running out of precious time. She finished the warm foods and stood, pulling her night gown over her head quickly she threw on the shirt from yesterday and wrapped her new clothes in her towel. Slipping on her boots she quickly exited her hut and strolled towards the bath house. She knocked lightly on the door and waited. No sound coming from inside she quickly opened the door and popped inside. She had to laugh, it reminded her of all the times she’d watched MASH on TV. The stalls and pipes with little rope pulls and bars of pressed soap in the holders. She quickly placed her clothes on the hook by the stall she selected and stripped her clothes off, hopping into the stall. She pulled the cord and a rush of hot water poured out, just like in the show. She held it long enough to get her hair and body wet, then lathered the soap in her hands. Clearly the bar of soap was also for hair as she saw no other form of soap. She took her time scrubbing and lathering away before she pulled on the rope and blissfully enjoyed the rush of water cascading over her. Within a matter of moments, she was clean, at least as clean as this set up would let her get. She pulled her towel over the stall door and began drying off, shaking her head to let the water droplets spray off her tightly coiled raven hair. She began pulling her underclothes on before exiting the stall to finish dressing.  


Packing up all her dirty clothes she slipped her boots on and walked back to her cabin, the air seemed warm today as the sun beat down upon her. She drew in a lung full of the air, feeling resolved to get some more potions done. She quickly returned to her cabin and bundled all the dirty clothes inside the towel and tied it off, placing it by the door. She went back to her desk and finished her breakfast. Finishing she pulled on her overcoat and slung her large leather bag over her shoulder and made her way down to the outer gate. She wondered if the elfroot would have respawned since the Herald had left and returned. With that question bouncing around in her mind she continued down the path only noticing then that Cullen was missing from his usual position. Shit, war room, must be setting out to do the quest, she began to increase her speed to the corner with the elfroot. That’s when she felt the game shutter, as Cullen instantly reappeared on the training yard, arms folded and watching the soldiers train.  


“Good morning Sarah,” he smiled and tipped his head as she walked by.  


“Good morning Commander,” she returned his smile before heading around the corner. She looked at the first elfroot plant she’d harvested yesterday and sure enough the leaves were all back again. This would make her job much easier as she began collecting them. And it was much quicker today, within an hour her bag was full. She calmly strolled back down the path, through the gates and to Adan’s hut. With a quick knock she entered the hut, “good morning Master Adan, I’ve brought a full bag of elfroot this morning,” she smiled carefully placing the overly full bag on the workbench.  


“Good, good, the Herald just dropped by with another load of embrium and spindleweed. We should be able to get another large batch of potions done. With that I’d say we could take a couple days off,” he chuckled, standing up and straightening his robes, “I’ll get the water for the elfroot, I washed the embrium and spindleweed this morning. Start smashing them up,” he pointed to, two large bags by the workbench.  


Sarah stripped off her overcoat and grabbed the large bag of spindleweed. She set to work grinding and juicing the plants, adding it to the pot on the table, “do we have enough corks and bottles?” she continued as Adan rolled the bowl full of snow near the fireplace, carefully heating the water.  


“Yes, I had Harriet send over another batch this morning. Figured you’d want to get a start on today before they take you for field work,” he continued to swirl the bowl.  
“Field work?” Sarah’s hand slipped and she struck her thumb hard with the pestle, “fenedhis!” she cursed, thankful she’d been using that for a while to stay out of trouble at work.  


“Yes, they require a seasoned potion person and healer in some of their travels so I’ve offered you,” Adan let out a laugh, “whenever the army marches, you’ll be marching with them. Consider it a fun opportunity to see parts of Thedas you never would have.”  


Sarah continued to grind the herbs as her thumb throbbed mercilessly. She’d be moving with the army, that meant Adamant, the Arbor Wilds, and possibly Corypheus himself. At the immediate it would mean the Breach sealing when Trevelyan got to it. She drew in a slow and haggard breath before pouring some more juice from her mortar into the pot, “thank you, Master Adan.”  


They continued in silence focusing on getting the next batch of potions ready. Adan paused several times to deal with minor injuries coming to the hut and people looking for certain potions. She worked hard and pushed to get them done. Adan handled the boiling of the liquids and took them outside to get them cooled. Sarah helped him pour the three pots into the large flask, “you need the flask to come just to a boil right?” she looked to Adan as he struggled to lift the flask.  


“Yes, just to a boil then cooled quickly, did you have an idea?” he raised his eye brow and put the flask back on the workbench.  


Sarah grinned, “just let me know when,” she cupped her hands to the glass flask and began heating the fluid within. She continued to focus her energy and heated it until Adan told her to stop, then she quickly began cooling it down, “much quicker,” she smiled as sweat beaded up at the base of her neck.  


“True, but I won’t always have a mage handy for such tasks,” he walked over to the other work bench and retrieved the large pot used yesterday and the ladle.  


Sarah nodded, “no you won’t but today you do so please make use of me,” she smiled warmly trying her best to remain calm. She waited for Adan to bring the pot over and she tipped it down to pour into the pot. Together they went about filling and capping the bottles. Once done she helped Adan stock the large shelf and pack the remainder in her bag, “did you wish me to give more out to the soldiers?”  


Adan looked at her for a moment and shook his head, “no, I trust you to take the extras and use them as needed. We’ll have people coming soon enough and some may need healing. The Herald is away at Redcliffe castle dealing with that Tevinter bastard. We’ll likely have some injured and sick ones come back,” he waved his hand, “there’s nothing more I need from you today. Seeing as it’s just a little after lunch here,” he dug in a drawer and tossed her a small coin purse, “get yourself something to eat and drink. You’ve earned the evening off.”  


Sarah couldn’t help but smile wide and repeatedly thanked Adan, who nearly shoved her out of his hut. She lifted the bag over her shoulder, nearly half full with potions. This would be enough to help majorly when the attack came, she smiled and had a light skip in her step as she strolled to the tavern. She walked in through the door and walked up to the bar, “may I order please?” she sheepishly asked, her cheeks burning.  


“Of course love,” the red haired woman smiled at her, “what can I get you today?”  


“Something to eat please, and a bottle of that Rowan wine pleases,” she dug in the coin purse and pulled out a few copper coins, “is this enough?”  


The woman let out a soft chuckle, “ah you work for Adan, it’s on the house love,” she smiled brightly as she reached under the bar and brought up a bottle and glass.  


“Then take it for yourself,” Sarah pushed the coins across the bar top, “you’ve been very kind to me, I haven’t had such kindness from strangers yet.”  


The woman’s face fell slightly, “it truly is sad how some people treat elves. I know it’s not much but you are always welcome here and most people have been saying good things about you. Seems without your help the potions stores wouldn’t be so well stocked the last couple days. Not many people wanting to pick herbs it seems,” she uncorked the bottle and began filling the glass, “you’re doing great work for the Inquisition.”  


Sarah beamed brightly as she carefully picked up the glass and took a sip, “thank you, truly.”  


The woman let out a soft giggle, “go sit, I’ll bring ya your meal,” she pointed over to a corner, “perhaps the Commander could use his usual company. He’s been in a foul mood all morn.”  


Of course he would be, Trevelyan picked walking into a trap and the mages, Sarah thought as she picked up her glass and bottle and walked over to sit down beside him, “is this spot taken?” she set her glass and bottle down on the table softly.  


“Hmm? Oh, Sarah,” he stood for a moment pointing to the chair before her, “please sit.”  


She looked over to see a large stack of papers and a half-eaten plate of food, “please tell me you’ve intentions of finishing that poor plate off Commander,” she shook her head slowly, her lips pursed in a curt scowl.  


“I, oh,” he noticed her face as he looked up from his papers, “I was lost in thought, I’m sorry.”  


Before Sarah could say another word her meal was laid down before her, “perhaps it is my luck, there is still time to share a meal with you,” she let out a sigh, nodding to the server who slipped away.  


“Our ambassador has requested I assist her on locating a reputable lyrium supplier. I am afraid all I have located are rather shady characters,” he shook his head and reached out for his spoon.  


Sarah took a sip of her wine, enjoying the taste as she brought her bowl of steaming soup and bread closer to herself. She dipped her bread in the soup, swirling it around, “expecting a large group of people needing lyrium?”  


Cullen sighed heavily, “yes, mages more than likely. Trevelyan seems to think they are the answer to sealing the Breach. If all goes well and according to plan we should be able to seal it by tomorrow evening,” he took a bite from his piece of bread.  


“I will be prepared when the time comes,” she sighed lifting the spoon to her lips, “seeing as I am to travel with you,” she opened her mouth and inserted the spoon keeping a close eye on Cullen’s reaction.  


“You are the healer who will be travelling with us?” he seemed slightly flabbergasted at the statement.  


Sarah swallowed her mouthful and calmly replied, “yes, Master Adan has volunteered my services for me, it seems,” she remained calm as she continued to eat, “is that a problem Commander?”  


Cullen sat for a moment, finishing his piece of bread gazing over a couple pieces of paper before looking back at her, “it will be satisfactory, I believe.”  


Sarah continued to work away at her lunch, knowing this wasn’t him being cold. He simply was buried in his work and being in his work was nearly incapable of focusing on anything else. She was best to finish her lunch while it was still warm. After several moments of silence and the sound of shuffling papers beside her, she laid her spoon into the now empty bowl, enjoying a satisfied sip of her nearly empty wine glass. She looked over to see Cullen’s lunch again neglected, while he sat reading over paper, after paper. She chuckled and slid closer to him, “your lunch Commander,” she dipped his spoon in the bowl and swirled it around, focusing on heating the soup, “I’m only going to heat it up again this one time,” she teased as his eyes caught hers and she watched his cheeks stain a bright red.  


“I… thank you Sarah,” he took the spoon from her hand, their fingers grazing each other as she blushed brightly. She keenly watched as he flushed nearly as red, quickly drawing his attentions back to the small stack of papers before himself.  


“Is there anything I can do to help you Commander?” she carefully tucked a coil of hair behind her ear.  


“Not at the present thank you,” he didn’t even lift his head from the page.  


Sarah sighed and drank the last of her glass. Gripping the bottle in her hand she rose carefully, “thank you for last night Commander. I will leave you to your work,” she let out a much louder sigh than she had intended as she walked past him and out the doors. Her bag still slung across her chest she carefully plodded down the dirt path to her hut. Once inside she began filling up the pouch Adan gave her, as full as she could get it. Only a few potions remained in the bottom of her bag. She carefully set the bag over the back of her desk chair. It was only a little after lunch, she had some time to read or something before dinner. That’s when it happened, suddenly she heard voices outside the doors as Trevelyan came stomping through the camp up the path to the Chantry. Sarah let out a sigh, Trevelyan had just secured the mages help. Now surely they’d close the rift, possibly even tonight! She began packing things up into the large bag. She knew she’d have time to grab it upon return, just enough time.  


She felt an odd shift of energy as the day seemed to move to night rapidly and there was a knock on the door, “miss Lavellan, the Commander requests your presence at the gate. We are preparing to leave for the Breach.”


	4. In Your Heart Shall Burn

Sarah’s heart sank and her mouth went dry and she quickly tried to wet her lips by taking a long dredge from the wine bottle, “I shall be there as soon as I can,” she stuffed a cork into the wine bottle and placed it into the large bag, seeing the hunk of bread still on her desk from breakfast she wrapped it in a cloth and placed it in the bag. She pulled her heavy overcoat tightly about her neck and found a pair of thicker leather gloves in the chest by the desk. She decided to air on caution and slung the bag over her shoulder, her pouch tied around her waist.  


With one last look around she walked out the door of her cabin and watched people quickly moving back and forth. Mages in long robes with staffs waiting by the gate along with soldiers and Trevelyan’s small inner circle. Sarah put her head down and made her way to Cullen, who was going over some details with another soldier, “you have summoned me Commander,” she stood taller, her hands clasped behind her back.  


“Yes, Sarah we are ready to head to the Breach. Do you have adequate healing supplies?” he eyed up the large sack slung across her body.  


“Yes Commander, I believe I am prepared for the worst,” she felt herself shake as he turned from her and made a final comment to the soldier and proceeded to march forward, Trevelyan leading the way. Sarah drew in a deep breath as they walked on for some time, through the trees and some rumbled ruins. The snow packed down by scores of people, their tracks everywhere and nowhere as she could tell. She could hear soldiers chatting about random things behind her, mages complaining and whining, all while Trevelyan seemed stoic and calm. Cullen was very close to Trevelyan, leading his soldiers towards the Breach. She gripped the strap of the bag tightly in her hands, terrified of what was to come. Playing the moment was hard but now she was going to live it, first hand. Her palms were sweaty in her gloves and she tried very hard not to let it show. She noticed Iron Bull watching her intently as he walked with the group. Ben-hassrath training, she knew he was thinking her behavior was odd.  


They walked on for what felt like an hour until they came to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Solas took control of the mages and commanded them to follow him. Cullen and Cassandra got the men set up as Trevelyan walked towards the base of the Breach. Sarah stood back waiting to see what would happen, knowing that nothing dangerous was about to happen. She watched as Trevelyan sealed the Breach as she’d seen many times in many plays. After the shock wave that nearly knocked her over, she heard people cheering and celebrating. She tried to sound happy as she breathed out heavily and followed the groups return to Haven. All the while people were singing and happily marching back.  


Another hour later, and the sky was very dark as they walked through the main gate of Haven. She walked calmly back to her hut, not wanting to see what was to come. She began looking about her room. Grabbing clothes, and some blankets and folding them as tightly as she could, packing them into the large bag. Anything that could be of help, she tried to grab as much as she could. She knew there would be injuries, blood, and death coming any second now. Each passing moment felt like an eternity as she waited for the sound of the horn. She’d need to wait for the call for civilians to pull back. She kicked herself, wishing she’d grabbed a bow and quiver. She could help shield some people as they fled to the Chantry but by now, Cole would be attacking the group just outside the gate. She heard it then as she straightened up, the horn blow and the sound of people screaming.  


“Get to the Chantry!” came a yell through the door of a scout or soldier. She quickly grabbed the bag and slung it over her shoulder. She opened the door to see it all unfold. Red Templars pouring over the walls and cutting down people as they went. Cullen and the soldiers fending them off as civilians raced towards the Chantry. She quickly moved, heading straight down the path, not looking back. She burst through the doors of the Chantry, several people already huddled inside, “it’s ok, you’ll be safe in here,” a young Sister of the Chantry smiled.  


“Grab as many blankets, clothes, rip the banners off the walls,” Sarah yelled back at her, “take this bag, it’s full of healing potions, some blankets and other items. We’re under attack!” she looked back at the door, “are there any weapons in here?”  


The young woman seemed flustered as the color drained from her face, “there are some weapons over here,” she pointed towards the door leading to Haven’s prison.  


Sarah nodded and raced down the stairs finding a bow and quiver in a chest, “just like the game,” she snuffed as she raced back up the stairs, strapping the quiver to her back as she went. She saw more people coming through the gates, she stood outside, taking aim with her bow she let fly arrows striking down enemies, “get in the Chantry,” she yelled as more people continued to come in. She watched as the first trebuchet launched its boulder and a section of mountain came down. She knew they needed to launch one more then it was going to get ugly. She kept the red Templars back with the assistance of several soldiers and archers. It seemed like her arrows never ran out, which amused her inside greatly but also made her breath easier.  


Her hands stayed steady as the second trebuchet round launched and people began to cheer. She kept her aim focused, popping more Templars as she waited. Within a few more seconds she saw it, the large dragon as it laid down fire on the trebuchet and circled. She shuttered as people began to run forward and someone pulled her inside, “I can help!” she squealed.  


“There’s nothing more that can be done,” Iron Bull growled lifting her up and placing her insider, “we need everyone in the Chantry till Cullen can get us a good battle plan.”  


Sarah bit her tongue and allowed him to plunk her down, “I shall tend to the wounded, where are they?”  


Bull thumbed over to the war room, “they’re housing them back there,” he heaved his heavy axe down and gripped the handle, “I’ll cover the door.”  


She knew she wasn’t getting anywhere with him and to try would cause a change in the game. She slung the bow over her shoulder and rushed to the back, the woman she’d met in the beginning still holding her bag, fiddling with the strap, “may I have my bag back please?” Sarah smiled, “there are wounded that need tending.” The woman turned, her eyes blank as she handed Sarah the bag. Without a word she pointed towards a group of people laid out on the floor, “thank you, grab the banners, any drapes, blankets, anything and everything you can carry that will be of help. We have wounded!” Sarah yelled to several soldiers standing about, clearly in shock.  


“We have wagons back here!” yelled an older man in Chantry robes.  


“Good fill it with as much fabric as we can find in here. Grab anything to help wounded or to escape. There isn’t much time!” she screamed back watching Cullen burst in the Chantry doors. She couldn’t rush to him, not now. Things have to play out correctly. She busied herself, ripping banners off the walls and tossing them down the line as they filled the wagons. Several people joined in pulling banners down, ripping the blankets off the beds in the room beside the war room. Everyone chipping in, grabbing sacks of dry foods, wax, candles, and packing them into the wagons. As they worked the cut scene played out. Roderick being carried in by Cole, then remembering the path to the make shift camp. She pressed hard, healing those she could enough to get them walking and moving. Passing out bottles of elfroot to those who needed it. Finally, Cullen came rushing down towards her, Roderick under the arms of two soldiers.  


“Roderick will lead the way, quickly!” Cullen shouted, his forehead slick with sweat. He pushed hard directing others around him and calming those he could. He stopped and lifted up four soldiers and heaved them onto the back of wagons, “move, move!” he yelled.  


Sarah began following a wagon in front of her, questioning how or where they found brontos to pull them. She trudged through the knee high snow, trying to stick to the path the brontos were carving. People were crying, some shaking and others in a panic as Roderick pointed the way forward. They walked and walked until they were above the tree line. From there Cullen found her and pointed to her bow she nodded and knocked an arrow. She focused and lit the tip, she drew the string taut and let the arrow fly into the night sky. They all watched with bated breath as the trebuchet launched, striking the mountain and causing a huge slide of snow to some cascading down. She let out a sigh of relief when the dragon flew away.  


“Step up camp!” Cullen yelled, men moving and nearly stumbling over each other. She watched as people started digging into the wagons, some scouts rushing forward into an out crop of ruins pulling out a ton of items and useful things to help set up the temporary camp. Sarah stepped back and stood beside the wagons. She continued to watch as the camp quickly came together and in a few moments someone was tugging her to come assist with the wounded.  


Several hours went by as she tended to cuts, scrapes, bruises, and burns. She focused on helping as many as she could until the supply of potions ran out. She turned to get up and felt dizzy. She hadn’t expected this to be so draining on her. Having played it through so many times she was shocked still at the amount of chaos. She wiped her brow and excused herself as Solas took over helping heal as many as he could. She sat off on the wagon, dipping into her bag and pulling out the hunk of bread and bottle of wine. She pulled the cork out with her teeth and set to a long draw from the bottle before picking at the bread. She ripped a piece off and was munching away when she heard Cullen and Cassandra shout that they had found the Herald. Cullen carried Trevelyan in his arms taking her to the tent that was set up for treated wounded, now nearly empty from Sarah and Solas’s effort.  


“I need a healer!” he yelled looking around as he placed Trevelyan’s body on a cot.  


Sarah started to stand when Solas interjected and began working his spells on Trevelyan. With the Herald being looked after the advisors began arguing. Bickering mercilessly about everything and anything. Sarah sat back on the wagon and continued to eat and drink, feeling exhausted. She knew it would be over soon, and sure enough the game moved forward, Trevelyan rose up from the cot and began speaking with Mother Gisele. She waited as her favourite cut scene played out. Trevelyan stood up and hobbled out of the tent as Mother Gisele started singing. Soon the whole camp joined her in singing the song.  


“Tired?” Iron Bulls voice broke the silence and caused her to jump.  


“Exhausted,” she let out a chuckle, “you scared me.”  


“Nice work with healing people, organizing the retreat. Good head on your shoulders, and some good shooting as well,” he leaned on the wagon causing it to shift slightly under his weight,  


“Thank you,” she knew she had to be careful, he’d be on to her too quickly if she didn’t.  


“Don’t be nervous, I’m not here to convert you to the Qun. I’m the Iron Bull, head of the Chargers mercenary group,” he grinned lifting a large wine skin to his lips.  


“Well met. I’m Sarah Lavellan, healer, archer and here to help. You simply startled me,” she lifted the bottle back to her lips and took in another drink, the warmth welcoming to her limbs as the wind picked up a bit, “I’m sorry I’m terrible company, I’m exhausted, can barely think straight.”  


Bull chuckled, “no problem, just checking to see if you’re alright. It was a rough night for everyone.”  


She knew better, knew he was digging, “yes, it was so sudden. As soon as they have a space for me, I hope to sleep,” she let out a chuckle, “I may even sleep in this wagon,” the idea amusing her greatly.  


“Be careful not to drain yourself too much. I witnessed you stagger standing up before you came over here. Call it a night, no more healing,” he nodded before walking back towards the main camp.  


Sarah smiled as he walked away, she caught Solas and Trevelyan walking together from the camp as she yawned long and hard. She looked back in the wagon, it was empty, save for a fat sack of what looked like flour. She let out a chuckle and slipped into the wagon. Pulling the blanket she saved from Haven she curled up, using the sack of flour as her pillow she closed her eyes. It wasn’t comfortable, not like her bed at Haven but she was beyond tired and with the warmth of the wine and the blanket wrapped around her tightly she fell into a light sleep.  


The sudden jarring motion of the wagon work her. She sat up in a haze looking around to see the sun had risen and Trevelyan standing upon a large rock, “this way, we move to Skyhold!” she was waving people to follow up the hill. Sarah smiled and looked beside her, a few young children sitting in the wagon with her, “hello da’lens,” she smiled sitting down with her knees up and her arms rested upon them.  


“Are we going to be safe?” one little girl uttered, her eyes ringed red from crying heavily. Her shirt stained and pants ripped.  


“Yes, we are heading to Skyhold and you’ll be safe. You’ll see, the Herald is leading us to safety,” she smiled and wrinkled her nose up, making a silly face, causing the little girl to laugh, “I’m Sarah, what’s your name da’len?”  


“I’m Tessa, what’s a da’len?” she looked up while the other children sat in silence, watching their interaction.  


“It’s Dalish for ‘little one,’ since I did not know your name, that is what I called you,” Sarah looked around to see people walking beside the wagon, “where are your parents Tessa?”  


The little girl’s auburn hair spilled over her face as she brought her hands to her eyes and began sobbing, “I… I don’t know where they are.”  


“Tessa,” she gently touched the little girls shoulder, feeling horrible for the little girl, “stick with me, I’ll keep you safe while we find your parents, ok. What did your mommy and daddy do at Haven?” she reached down and stretched the small blanket around the group of children, best she could.  


“Mommy is a cook in the kitchens, Papa is a soldier. I haven’t seen either yet,” she sniffled hard as Sarah brought her closer to her.  


“Come da’len, you stay near me and we’ll find your parents. I know they got the kitchen staff in quickly, so your mom is here somewhere and we didn’t lose many soldiers. There is a good chance your papa is being brave and helping the Herald bring us to our new home,” she smiled brightly, sounding very cheery.  


The little boy behind Tessa spoke up, “my papa was working in the tavern before everything went to shit.”  


“Tut language da’len, such dirty words from such a handsome boy,” she scolded him and his cheeks went bright red.  


“Sorry ma’am. I’m Connor,” he looked up sheepishly, “you think papa made it too?’  


“Yes I do, and when the adults get us to Skyhold we’ll look for your parents. Then you can run and play in the yards. If you’re naughty I’ll put you to work picking herbs,” she winked and chuckled as the kids all seemed to brighten slowly, “come, does anyone know a song we can sing? Something to make the time pass quicker.”  


v  
Tessa wiped her nose on her dirty sleeve and smiled, “oh I do! The pretty bard lady sang many songs at the tavern. My mom would sing them to me,” she sat up and started singing Maryden’s song, oh Grey Warden. As she sang the other kids listened, and as they picked it up they all began to sing along. The adults around the wagon began to stand taller and smile, singing along with the kids, their spirits lifted by the voices of the young.  


“You are very good with children,” Cullen’s voice broke the moment as he walked up to Sarah’s side.  


“They needed to remember how to smile again,” she couldn’t help but feel lighter herself after all the blood and horrors of the night before. Even though she had trained and gotten her first aid certificate, she’d never imagined she’d be using it like this. Blood and gore never bothered her, she’d been through enough in her life that a cut, a gash even a bad burn wasn’t going to linger in her mind. She was saving a life, easing someone’s pain or just generally being there for someone who needed it and she never felt more alive.  


“You have managed that,” he looked back to see the song spreading down the lines, “it seems you have brightened a few other spirits as well.”  


“Good, they need to realize they are alive and that this isn’t the end,” she grinned at him, “these da’len have family missing them. I intend to find their parents once we reach Skyhold,” she looked back to see Tessa and Connor playing a game with the other kids in the wagon.  


Cullen nodded and looked up the ridge before them, “seems we shall be at Skyhold soon. If you require any assistance, I’ll see what I can do.”  


Sarah held her hand up, causing him to remain near the wagon for another few moments, “I’m sure some of these children are the young babes of soldiers. If I get you names could you put the word out?”  
“Immediately. These young ones must be returned to their parents if they still draw breath,” he leaned over and saw the young Tessa, “I know her, she’s Stalwart’s daughter. He is up ahead, helping carry the wounded.”  


“What of her mother? She apparently assisted in the kitchens,” she reached over and wiped a piece of the girl’s hair from her face, Tessa turned and smiled brightly.  


“Yes, her mother went ahead with some scouts to help prepare for the group. They are setting up fires and food for the weary travellers,” he leaned over, “Tessa, your ma and pa are safe. He is helping with those who have been hurt. Your mother is awaiting you at Skyhold, with a warm meal ready,” he spoke softly, smiling wide. Sarah felt her belly bubble seeing the little crow’s feet around his eyes scrunch lightly as he cooed to the young girl.  


“Really?! Oh, thank you ser!” the little girl beamed brightly and renewed her singing.  


“You are good with the da’len as well,” Sarah smiled, a coil of raven hair dangling down her temple.  


Cullen blushed softly, “get me the names of these children and I will help the best I can to find their parents. I need to go assist the Herald in her march to Skyhold,” he bowed slightly as he continued to walk ahead.  


Sarah spent the next hour speaking with the children. Calming them and being sure to get each of their names. After a bit they all started singing and playing little games. It helped pass the time as the wagon rolled over the hill and across the large stone bridge into Skyhold’s courtyard. Sarah smiled brightly as she leaned in close to the kids, “we’re here. This is Skyhold and you’ll be safe here. Once the wagon stops, stick close to me. We’ll find everyone’s parents before nightfall, I promise,” she smiled brightly as they sat and relaxed, watching everyone move around them.  


She was shocked when she felt the time speed forward and night become day in a matter of seconds. She turned beside her to see the kids gone and the wagon empty. She watched as Trevelyan appeared from a doorway across from her, calmly walking into the courtyard in her beige outfit. Cassandra waved her over to their group. Josephine and Cullen walked off as she watched Trevelyan climb the stone stairway towards the second tier of Skyhold’s courtyard. People around her began to gather and stand underneath the stone arch leading into the main hold. She knew what was coming, had played the game enough times but still it felt so wonderful, so lively. She couldn’t help but get excited and cheer when Cullen spoke the words.  


“Will you follow? Will you fight? Will we win? Your Herald, your Inquisitor!” he raised his blade up to point at Trevelyan, who’s fiery red hair seemed to mimic live fire as her emerald green eyes scanned the crowd. The blade of the Inquisition raised high above her head. As the crowd continued to cheer she watched as the group of advisors and Trevelyan calmly walked up the stone steps and into the main keep. She felt like she’d held her breath the whole time until they disappeared through the main doors. Finally getting a good look around. It was more massive and incredible in person than what she’d seen playing the game, even with her graphics up on high. She wanted to look everywhere, wanted to go everywhere, touch everything. She looked up to the large looming tower over the front gates, Cullen’s tower. It seemed even more impressive and ominous. The stone ramparts broken in places, making a true walk about nearly impossible. Trevelyan would need to travel and complete a minor mission before Skyhold would see it’s first round of repairs. She looked around, wondering if Trevelyan had managed to save Adan from the explosion outside of his hut. Sure enough she had, as she caught the familiar green and feathers of his robe over by the tents. She was thankful for that. She walked over to him, carefully and calmly, “Master Adan, I’m very glad to see you are safe. It was such a rush and mess,” she shook her head.  


“Yes, it sure as shit was. I’m done being the alchemist here. I can’t… you know,” he sighed rubbing his forehead with finger tips, “I’ll make sure to have someone come find you. They’ll need healers and that regenerative potion recipe.”  


“Live well, Master Adan,” she bowed to him and watched as he walked away. She looked around, unsure of what to do, where to go. There was still a lot of game left and in real time she had no idea how much time had passed. She turned in time to see Cullen just appear standing at the base of the stairway, behind a large wooden table, leaned over, examining papers. She took in a deep breath and walked over, “Commander, is there anything I can help with?”  


He looked over to her, his eyes filled with pain and exhaustion, “Sarah, I… perhaps.”  


She reached in her pouch looking for a potion, when she realized she’d used them all for the wounded on the way, “please let me help,” she took a step closer as messengers rushed up and handed him another dossier.  


“Help?” his eyebrows knit together and his weary face tried to remain vigilant, “I am fine.”  


Sarah let out a huff, much louder than she had meant and she instantly blushed, “you’re a terrible liar Commander, please, it’s my job, let me,” she planted her hands firmly on her hips, she nearly giggled thinking how silly she must look. This little disheveled elf trying to intimidate the Commander of the Inquisition. Still she remained strong and steadfast, her violet eyes beaming down on him, hoping that it would wear down the last of his resolve. After all she knew what he was fighting. Lyrium withdrawal. After Haven, it was surely being passed around almost openly, in front of him and it would have maybe his whole-body burn.  


“If you insist, though I am more than capable of continuing my work,” he huffed and turned away from her, staring back down at the list of papers before him, another messenger placing a small stack and rushing off, leaving them alone.  


“I do insist, now for a moment, please try to hold still,” she walked around to the other side of the table, as it was higher ground, and reached across. She just grazed his cheek as she hovered her hands over his temples. He was hot, and slick with sweat. How he managed to hold himself together so well she had no idea. She began to focus on his pain, drawing as much healing as she could to smoother the overwhelming headache pounding within his skull. After that she continued to search, feeling the muscle fatigue within his arms and legs she drew out the lactic acid, soothed the torn fibers and helped draw the pain away. She felt herself begin to get tired, the effort of healing him was exhausting her, but she pushed on. Focusing on soothing the burning in his veins, the pain pooling in his core. She pushed her magic harder, her eyes tightly shut as she focused everything she had into healing him. A bead of sweat slowly trickled down her temple as she scrunched her eyes tighter, pushing and pushing until she felt strong gloved hands grip her wrists, “Sarah, stop,” his voice was soft and tender as she opened her eyes and was meant with his amber gaze.  


“Are you… are you better…” she smiled weakly back at him, feeling her own limbs begin to tremble, “are you free of,” she drew in a deep breath trying to regain some control of her body, “pain now?”  


Cullen’s eyes widened, a look of shock spread quickly then was reabsorbed by his stern gaze, “Sarah, you have risked nearly incapacitating yourself,” his voice harbored a quiver of something, but Sarah’s couldn’t figure out what as she felt his hands slowly release their grip on her wrists. She barely had time to balance herself before she half crumpled on the table before him.  


“You shouldn’t have to…” she clamped her mouth shut quickly, and looked away. Had she said too much, would a healer have picked up on his lyrium withdrawal? She needed to move, needed to get away, but where? She looked back up panic in her eyes as she noticed his expression. She stumbled to get up, her feet tangling together sending her crashing to the dirt beneath her, “fenedhis!” she cried out, feeling her knee split open and warm blood seeping through the cloth of her pants. It stung and burned and tears began to well up in her eyes, yet she scrambled to try to get up. Her limbs weak like a new born calf as she struggled to get up. She was in a whirling mess of panic as she felt his gloved hands slide against her side and loop under her arms, carefully lifting her up.  


“Lady Lavellan we must get you to somewhere you can rest,” he helped lift her up and walked her over to a tent located a few steps away in the courtyard under the overhang of the tavern. He carefully pulled back a flap and helped her inside. A small cot being the only thing inside. He helped set her down and reached into his cloak pulling out one of the healing potions Sarah had given him a couple days prior.  


“That’s for you,” she sniffled, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She watched as he uncorked it slowly and pasted it to her, “you’ve been neglecting yourself Commander,” she shook her head and mumbled softly under her breath, “stubborn.”  


Cullen chuckled, “perhaps I am, but you are in need right now. You have drained your mana and cannot heal your knee alone. If left untreated in our current conditions, you will develop an infection. It would be a waste of a good leg just to help a stubborn man,” he grinned down at her.


	5. Much to Learn

Sarah couldn’t believe him when she looked over at the little bottle. She reached up and wrapped her hand around his, holding the bottle, “you deserve better,” she didn’t even look up. She just held his hand lightly, her finger tips resting on the neck of the bottle.  


“Deserve better?” his voice was low and questioning as he slowly released his hold on the bottle.  


She took the bottle and drank it down, the taste nearer to grass and dirt. She shuttered as she felt the skin of her knee knit itself back together and close, “yes better. I sensed it while healing you,” she prayed this bluff would work, “lyrium withdrawal, I clued in when I remembered you said ex-templar,” she waited for him to say something, possibly even counter her. She had no idea if what she was saying was correct but, she’d seen enough, felt enough, and with how her heart fluttered when he touched her, she couldn’t stomach not doing more. Game be damned.  


She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he stiffened at the statement and seemed to take a moment to think it all through. Before he could get a chance to say a word she spoke again, “you probably have work to do, the Inquisitor will need your time soon I’m sure. We can speak later, if you wish,” she looked up and flashed him a soft smile as she rubbed her arms, feeling a slight warmth spread over her.  


Cullen drew in a breath, “there is much work to do since Haven. Your help with Adan’s potions saved a lot of lives. I would very much like to speak with you later,” he stood up and waited for her reply before moving.  


“Then I shall come to you later,” she nodded for him to leave and watched him march out the tent, his purposeful steps echoing off the stone and dirt in her ears. She sat for a few extra moments, twirling the bottle in her hand before the tent flap opened. Without a word she rose and walked out, seeing Trevelyan speak with Cullen by the table. She was polite and kind to him, and the conversation was quick before she disappeared up the stone steps. A few moments later and she reappeared with Blackwall, walking the ramparts. She could just see them disappear but she knew, this was it, the romance choice and she’d be kissing Blackwall about now.  


She couldn’t help but sigh thinking about the sweetness of the moment. Then she looked around herself. Lots of sick and wounded, people needing healing. People needing her help. She already had her bag slung over her shoulder and it was empty. She made the decision to walk down the mountain to pick as much elfroot and spindleweed as she could find. If she was lucky she’d find some embrium too. She started walking down when a voice stopped her. Her back prickled when she realized who it was.  


“The body doesn’t match the mind. Need to help before things go as they should, you know what will come,” Cole walked beside her, not looking at her.  


“I need to find elfroot, embrium and spindleweed, do you know where I can find them?” she tried to push all thoughts down but the healing potion recipe.  


“Walk half an hour down the mountain, there is a stream with lots of all those herbs. You’ll fill your bag before too long,” he turned to look at her, “you want to help, but you’re not from here. Not from this world, but you want to help. I like to help,” his face was blank as he looked into her eyes. She was shocked at how pale they were, the slight slivers of pale blue making him seem even more ethereal than in the game.  


“Thank you. Cole,” she smiled, “I do wish to help, things must happen as they should though I intend to make them better,” she gripped her bag tightly, “you should help the wounded. I’ll be back as quickly as I can with herbs to make potions,” she turned back and continued walking across the large stone bridge, following the heavily trodden path down the mountain side she could just make out the stream Cole mentioned. She knew when she turned he’d be gone, and sure enough he was. She put her head down and walked the path, thinking of only one thing, one person: Cullen. How his eyes looked at her when she spoke to him in that tent. How she felt fire burn inside her when he touched her hand. It was foolish, stupid really. How could she be falling in love with a digital man? She knew once the game finished that she’d be leaving him behind. That would be it, she’d never see him again. It made her eyes sting as she reached the stream. She wept hard and long as she kept clipping elfroot leaves, spindleweed leaves and embrium flower heads. She didn’t stop crying or cutting. Her bag slowly getting heavier and heavier until it was full. She wiped her eyes off on her sleeve, looking back up to Skyhold. Her walk back was slow, she half dragged herself back up the winding path and across the bridge. As she entered the large gates, she had no idea where to go till she heard her name being called. She turned to see Adan waving her over. She drew in a deep breath and straightened up, plastering a smile upon her face she rushed over to see him, “Master Adan, you called for me?”  


“Yes child, but please it’s just Adan now. I’ve met with the new alchemist. Her name is Elan, she’s just over here, follow me,” he led her up the stairs and over behind the tavern, “here she is, Elan!” he yelled and waved as Sarah followed behind, lugging the over stuffed bag.  


“Good day Adan,” the young elf woman stood, “is this your assistant, Sarah you were talking about? It is good to meet you,” she brushed her hands off and as she stood.  


“Good to meet you too. You are taking over for Adan?” Sarah smiled bowing slightly, trying to hold the bag still as it threatened to slip off her shoulder.  


“I see you have quite the heavy bag. Adan says you are a fanatic herb picker. Is that the result?” she smiled pointing to Sarah’s bag.  


Sarah chuckled, “I was concerned we’d need potions badly for the wounded so I set off to collect as much elfroot, embrium and spindleweed as I could in this bag,” she tapped the bag softly.  


Adan bowed and excused himself as Sarah walked over to Elan a small table set up under a tent behind her, “come bring the bag over here, we’ll get to work,” she smiled over at Sarah.  


Sarah felt wonderful to get to work again and know it would take the heat off the people of Skyhold. She opened her bag on the table and began separating the plants. As she sorted she watched Elan out of the corner of her eye. She was preparing the herbs as Adan had shown her, bottles set up in a crate under the table. She focused hard and pushed to get things done, until Elan finally tapped her on the shoulder, “Sarah, I’ve been talking to you for the last few minutes are you alright?”  


“I… uh, it’s been a long day but this must be done,” she sighed, wiping sweat from her brow, “though I could use a meal.”  


Elan laughed, “aye I could as well. They’ve found and set up the kitchens here. Do you have anything in mind?”  


“Oh, I’m not picky,” Sarah let out a chuckle, “I believe there is a half a bottle of wine and a little chunk of stale bread in this bag somewhere,” she continued to dig, her hand striking the bottle, “and here is the bottle,” she smiled pulling it out.  


“Rowan rose? Good selection,” Elan laughed, “I’ll take a trek to the kitchen and see about something to nip at while we work. Dinner is a few hours away yet. Keep working, I’ll be but a moment,” she smiled as she quickly hurried away.  


Sarah put her head down and continued to empty the sack until it was completely sorted and the bag empty. She draped the large bag over the edge of the table and set about continuing grinding the elfroot that Elan had started. She wondered for a moment, if maybe she could add all the plant extracts together and cook them in one pot instead of separately. She would ask Elan when she returned, grinding as much elfroot as she could and adding it to a large stock pot.  


“Don’t work yourself too hard,” Iron Bull’s voice startled her from her focus causing her to let out a sharp yelp as she jumped up, dropping the pestle from her hand.  


“Sweet Maker!” she started breathing heavily, trying to catch her breath, “Bull, I swear that was terrible.’  


Bull was laughing hard, “you seriously didn’t hear me come up behind you? I wasn’t quiet about it,” he shook his head, “working too hard already I see.”  


Sarah started to sweat as she knelt down and picked up the pestle, “there is work to do, people to help,” she wiped the pestle off on a rag from the table, “if we don’t get these potions done quickly people will die.”  


“People will always die, it’s part of living,” he leaned against the stone ruins beside the tent, “there’s something different about you. Something interesting.”  


“Got a thing for dark haired, workaholic elves?” she laughed, hoping her sass would throw him off her.  


“Nah, red heads are my weak spot,” he chuckled, “you, there’s something different. Can’t put my finger on it yet,” he stood up from his spot and let out a soft sigh, “no worries, you’re a good one, can tell that much. Just something different,” he patted her on the shoulder, “keep up the work, we need those potions,” he turned and walked away.  


Sarah tried not to react. Tried not to breath out heavy or suck in air hard, even though she was having a hard time keeping herself together. She looked down at the elfroot in the pot and it helped her to focus. She continued to grind and get out the elfroot. As she finished grinding the last bit and pouring it into the pot she saw Elan coming towards her with a small tray in her hands, “the elfroot is ready. Could we add all the plants together and boil them? Do they really need to be done separately?”  


“No, they don’t need to be, I was thinking about that to cut down on time,” she placed the tray down beside her, “here, its not much but it will help.”  


Sarah looked over and her mouth watered. Fresh cheese, cured meat and some bread. She never thought she’d be so happy to see a cheese and cracker type platter in her life. She wiped her hands on the rag and taking the knife off the tray she cut a slice of meat and a slice of cheese and then a piece of bread. She laid them all together and bit down. It was heaven, “this is perfect, thank you,” she covered her mouth as she let out a chuckle.  


“Good, you’ve done great with the elfroot. I’ll get the spindleweed done while you eat. That’ll leave the embrium,” Elan smiled grabbing some spindleweed and beginning to grind it.  


Sarah set to eating and getting her fill, “are you not eating Elan?” she stopped for a moment, ashamed of how greedy she was being.  


“Oh no, I ate lunch while you were out collecting plants. This is for you, thank you for your hard work,” Elan smiled over at her.  


Sarah poured her wine into a glass, “at least have a glass. Good wine should be shared.”  


Elan smiled and excepted the drink, while Sarah wiped off her hands and began helping Elan with the spindleweed, passing her more as she went until it was all ground and added to the stock pot with the elfroot. Elan moved to the side to relax her arm as Sarah grabbed the embrium and went to finishing it. They chatted and were friendly as they worked, Elan studied at the same college of herbalists as Adan and had worked with many different heads of state prior to her joining the Inquisition. She was a city elf and had quite the sense of humor which made Sarah giggle and smile. Very different to the grumpy and straight to the point Adan. Sarah poured the embrium into the pot, “step back I’ll heat it up and cool it when you tell me. It’ll be easier than lugging it out of the fire,” she cupped her hands to the pot as Elan began to stir. She pushed her magic forward and the plant mixture began to bubble. Elan stirred and stirred, waiting for the signs she had studied for. Within a few more moments she told Sarah it was done, and Sarah began to cool the potion, all the while Elan was stirring.  


“I’ve got your alcohol,” a small dwarf appeared with dark black, thick lines on his face.  


“Thank you, Cabot,” Elan smiled, “place it by the work bench,” she pointed beside her.  


Sarah kept focusing as Elan stirred, “is it ready?” she was beginning to sweat and tire from the use of mana that day.  


“Yes, it’s ready,” she patted Sarah on the shoulder, “we have the alcohol and in a few minutes we’ll be able to start bottling the potions.”  


Elan pulled a large ladle off the table and began stirring the liquid, “Sarah, could you pour in the alcohol?”  


Sarah lifted up the large bottle and pulled off the cork. She tilted it up, struggling a bit under the weight as it began to glug into the pot. Elan stirred as the alcohol mixed with the plant juices, until the large bottle was empty, “I’ll get the little bottles. Do we have stoppers?” Sarah put the empty alcohol bottle down under the workbench and pulled up the crate of little bottles.  


“I’ve got the stoppers,” Elan pulled another smaller crate out from beside her. Sarah passed her a bottle as they began filling and corking them. Filling and corking, filling and corking until every last bottle was filled and not a drop was left in the large stock pot.  


Sarah and Elan smiled, “this will do wonderfully,” Elan patter Sarah on the shoulder, “fantastic work!”  


Sarah smiled, wiping her forehead off again on her sleeve, “I’m exhausted,” she chuckled, “I have no idea where I am to sleep or rest.”  


Elan nodded, “the Commander and Ambassador are working on finding everyone rooms. This place is massive and they’re working tirelessly using mages to help clear out debris. The Commander should be in his office now same as the Ambassador. I’ll deliver these potions to the healers,” she began piling the bottles back into the crate.  


“I won’t have you struggling with the crate alone. Once we’ve delivered the bottles I will speak to someone about my sleeping arrangements,” she smiled lifting a corner of the crate. They struggled walking down the stairway to the make shift triage area. Elan flagged down a blonde woman, and pointed to the crate. Sarah snickered as the blonde woman nearly jumped with joy, waving them to put the crate down on a table nearby. The table that used to be where Cullen was standing, what felt like a few moments ago.  


Sarah looked back and realized the area towards the stables was now open and the bridge to the Commanders tower was repaired as well. Trevelyan must have begun work on earning prestige to go to Adamant or the Winter Palace. She politely excused herself and walked up the stone stairway, there was so much she wanted to see. She climbed the stairway and into the main hall. It was incredible! The large cathedral ceilings made her feel so small. She walked forward and entered the door beside the fireplace, creeping along the wall she passed through Solas’s rotunda and up into the library.  


Dorian was standing picking through books on the large bookcases, built into the walls and lining all the walls along the floor. She wanted to start going through books, the urge to do research and just to read was great as she stared mouth open. That was until someone touched her shoulder, she stifled a squeal as she turned to see Leliana, “oh Maker’s breath, I didn’t hear you behind me. I’m so sorry my lady,” she bowed softly.  


“Oh no, do not worry about it. I was coming to look for you. The Commander asked I help Josephine and himself find beds for everyone. He passed me your information. If you aren’t busy, I can show you, your room,” she smiled sweetly, a couple locks of fiery bright red hair framing her perfect porcelain face.  


“I would very much like to know where to call home,” Sarah smiled as she followed Leliana as she walked her through the doorway between two book cases, to where Vivenne was working away, reading through a book, stretched out on her lounge chair, the large glass windows open wide. Sarah followed around to the other side, seeing the over hang into the garden below. Leliana pointed to the room at the far end of the long walkway.  


“I’m sorry it’s so far away from your work, but the room at the end is yours. We’re working on having an engineer create a stone stairway up to this level for those staying up here and to prevent conflicts with some people,” Leliana rolled her eyes as she looked over her shoulder.  


“Thank you, I appreciate the effort. A place to lay my head is more important than how to get to it. If you’ll excuse me,” Sarah went to turn away until Leliana gripped her hand softly.  


“Your key to your quarters. The Commander requested your quarters be one with a lock,” she arched her eyebrow looking Sarah over, “something about concerns for your safety. You should speak to him as soon as you are able. Good day, Lady Lavellan,” Leliana smiled sweetly and walked back through the hall way.  


Sarah looked down at the key and walked the long balcony not daring to look over the edge, afraid of heights. She hugged the walls and swiftly moved to her quarters. She unlocked the door and found a well stocked room. A large chest, tall dresser, a writing desk, mirror and wash basin, and a fully made bed. She was pleased to see a small slit window and a fireplace, several torches and candles laid out in the room.  


She dug through the dresser and found new fresh clothes and set to changing. She giggled as she realized it was the same as the Inquisitor’s wardrobe, she selected her favorite. A pair of dark knee high boots, forest green leather pants, a leather vest with several pockets, a plain linen shirt and long forests green gloves. She thought about whether or not she should dress and look around or lay down. She really wanted a good sleep in that new bed, but Cullen did want to speak to her and dinner hadn’t been served yet. She sighed and flopped down on the bed, feeling the softness of the blankets she decided perhaps a nap wouldn’t be so bad. She stripped down changing her bra band and smalls before climbing into bed. It was soft and the pillow was just perfect. She curled up and within a few moments was fast asleep.  


She was awoken by the sound of someone knocking on her chamber door, “lady Lavellan the Commander wishes to speak with you, its urgent,” the male scout hollered through the door.  


Sarah groaned and sat up, “I require time to dress then I shall attend to the Commander immediately. Thank you,” she rubbed her eyes and walked over to the basin, filled with fresh water. She splashed it over her face, the cold water waking her fully. She heard the scout walked down the hallway, his boots clicking in a quick rhythm. “Cullen must need something,” she thought back. If he was in his tower, he’d have told Trevelyan about his withdrawal now. She quickly dressed and headed out the door her pouch strapped about her waist.  


She hugged the wall and made her way through the doors, seeing the door to the main hall open from Vivienne’s area. She trotted quickly down the stairs, entering the main hall. She crossed it and entered Solas’s rotunda. She bowed her head and walked through opening the door to the walkway to Cullen’s tower. The cool breeze swept across her face as she noticed the sun was high in the sky. How long did she sleep for? She couldn’t tell if she had slept till the next day or if Trevelyan had completed some tasks.  


She opened the door to Cullen’s office, “Commander you called for me,” it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of his room, compared to the brilliant blinding daylight outside. She thought she heard shuffling as she strained to look around, “I can’t see anything, my eyes are still adjusting,” she blinked hard and rubbed her eyes. After a couple seconds she could see, and what she saw scared her.  


Cullen’s face was ashen and his eyes seemed sunken into his head as he looked down at her from his loft. He was clearly on the floor, she could see that and without a second thought she scaled the ladder, pulling herself up as quickly as her limbs would take her, “Cullen!” she half shrieked pulling at his large frame, trying to drag him back to the bed in the back left corner, “damnit you’re heavier than you look,” she grunted. He made no sound as she pulled and struggled. She took a step back and drew in a deep breath, “don’t move, not that you can but don’t!” she had seen it several times in Dragon Age where a mage could energize huge, large, super heavy items and move them. She focused hard as she tried not to hurt him and lifted his body up off the floor and carefully laid him out on his bed. Once he was laid out on the bed she turned to see his wash stand in the corner. She reached in her pouch and grabbed out a few strips of bandages. The large jug was filled with water and she poured a bit onto the clothes. She raced back to his side, using one clothe she wiped down his face, “Cullen can you hear me? Come on big guy, snap out of this,” she touched his head, he was on fire. She struggled to think of what to do. She folded the cold wet clothe and placed it on his forehead. She reached back into her pouch and pulled out a small dagger, “Cullen, I’m going to cut your shirt off you now, please don’t move,” she saw his eyes follow her, as she lifted his shirt carefully from his chest and slipped the knife under, placing her other hand against his skin to shield him. She tugged and pulled, struggling as she’d never used a knife in this manner it was an odd and clumsy. She heard a knock on the chamber door.  


“Commander Cullen, are you alright? I was told there was shrieks from your tower?” it was Cassandra, Sarah looked back at Cullen, his eyes plead with her to not say anything.  


“Lady Seeker, it’s healer Sarah. The Commander startled me, we’re fine. He is in no position to talk and he assures me you’ll understand that,” she looked down to Cullen and kept working, finally cutting open the heavy linen shirt. Once his shirt was cut free she started tearing it up into strips. She rushed up from the bed and grabbed the bottle of water, she poured some more on the strips and slowly covered his chest and arms in the torn wet strips, “you’ll be alright, hang in there, I have you,” she stroked his forehead, feeling his body and checking what was going on. She drew in a deep breath, “if I pass out on top of you, sorry but I’m not sorry,” she grinned down as his eyes rolled back, “shit, fuck, shit!”  


She focused hard and poured healing magic straight into his chest, pulling the pain from his burning veins. She felt tired, then she remembered. He had a little bottle of lyrium in his desk. She hovered over the torn linen strips and cooled them, “hang on, I’ll be right back,” she turned quickly and slid down the ladder. She raced around and quickly locked the doors, no one should see him like this. She raced back to his desk and threw out the draw, digging through blank papers, and other things until she saw it. The small box that held the Templar tools for lyrium and the small bottle. It wasn’t much but it would be enough. She popped the cork off and drank it down. Feeling a rush of energy fill her body. She tossed the phial out the window and quickly climbed the ladder. When she hit the top she saw him shuttering and convulsing, “damnit Commander, get it together!” she yelled racing over and almost jumping on top of him. She touched his skin, “great from one to the other,” he was now shaking violently as she pulled the strips off and hung them over the bottle. She started looking around the room, there was so little.  


“You are going to think this totally weird,” she twirled the dagger in her hand, “I have to cut your pants off. You see you’re starting to freeze and go into shock. I need to heal your body but if I focus on heating you with magic, I can’t heal you. There isn’t enough of me,” she began untying his pants, “in the clan when something similar to this happens, we strip the person down to their smalls and two people lay, skin to skin with them to keep them the right temperature,” she ran the blade under his pant leg and sliced down to his feet, “I’m just thankful you didn’t get completely dressed, then this would be such a pain in my ass,” she finally stripped his pants off and returned the dagger to her pouch. She unbuttoned her vest and tossed it to the floor. Stripping down to her smalls and breast band as quickly as she could. She quickly grabbed at the blankets, sluffed at the end of the bed and laying nearly on top of him she pulled the blanket up tight.  


“I’m going to start the healing stuff now. When you can talk, please don’t be mad at me,” she laid her hands on his chest and began focusing, pouring healing spells into him, the best she could. All she kept doing was thinking of him being pain free, being without fever, being healthy and happy. She kept pouring, more and more and more, even as her head spun and her hands shook. She felt herself slipping into blackness, “please Maker please, help me heal him, make him well,” she uttered her mouth running dry, “Cullen… please...” she could just barely feel the kick back of her magic, just as she slipped into unconsciousness.


	6. I Can't Love You

Sarah felt a warm hand wrapped around her body, and an equally warm body pressed against her back as she slowly fought to open her eyes. Her head was spinning and her body ached, “fenedhis, I’m dead,” she groaned, not moving, “or at least I should be almost dead.”  


“No, you are not dead, though you did make quite the effort,” Cullen’s voice was soft a warm upon her neck, “you saved my life.”  


Sarah felt warm and safe in his arms and wants to stay there, but reality kicked in. This didn’t happen in the game, none of this. What had she done? Had healing him at Haven caused this? Would this ruin the game, would this ruin her chance of making it home, ever seeing home again? She bit her lip, “I’m glad you are safe,” she tried to sound cheery but she was panicking. She couldn’t stop the feeling blooming inside of her, the wonderful feelings she was beginning to have for him. This pixel man was becoming her everything. She saved his life and now more than ever did she just want to stay here.  


“Are you alright? You spent a lot of mana,” he gently stroked her arm, lovingly, affectionately.  


Sarah sighed, against everything screaming inside of her to stop, “yes I will be, I’m very weak right now,” she almost wanted to cry. After all, the game would end and she would return to her life, alone in that apartment. Alone and without this man that had claimed her heart from the moment she landed in Haven. A tear rolled down her cheek, she wanted to love him so much and he was making it nearly impossible now, “I’ll need to rest a bit more before I can get up without falling down.”  


Cullen rose and tucked the blanket around her, “I shall send for some food and drink. We could both use something after all that.”  


She didn’t need to turn over to see him, she knew he must be very red as he dressed. She let out a chuckle, “I’m sorry for your clothes, I’ll repay you,” she curled up into his bed, it smelt of him. A blend of musk, leather, and oak moss. She nearly giggled when she thought of all the fanfics and their description of his scent and sure enough that was dead on. The bed was softer than hers and the blanket, though thin was surprisingly warm. She heard him dress, tossing the rags and shredded clothing into the corner, before he descended the ladder, “Cassandra was concerned for you and the doors are locked.”  


Cullen chuckled and she heard him unlock the doors, open one to speak to messenger and then close it again. She heard him sit at his desk and then sharply stand. She knew he was standing over his desk staring at the box she’d failed to put away or simply throw away. She heard the door open, and his angry throaty growl as he hurled the box away. She remained as quiet as she could, listening to the cut scene she’d played through a million times, her fingers crossed tightly. Cullen was describing his addiction to lyrium and going through the entire cut scene. She held her breath until Trevelyan said the words, “no you can do this!”  


She drew in a deep breath and exhaled as slowly as she could. Finally feeling safe once the door closed and she heard Cullen sit behind his desk. She struggled to sit up and reached over to grab her clothes. As she reached down she slipped and landed on the floor with a thud. It knocked the air of out her and causing her to gasp for air. Before she could right herself and get up she felt his hands slip under her arms, pulling her up.  


“Easy, you are not well enough to get up,” he helped lift her onto the bed and drew the blankets back over her.  


“I need to get up, there are things I need to do,” she tried to sit up and everything spun and she fell back onto the bed.  


Cullen arched his eyebrow at her and let out a soft chuckle, “and you referred to me as stubborn. Rest, soon food and drink will arrive. I will bring it to you. Rest,” he patted the bed before slowly turning and heading back down the ladder.  


Sarah laid there, completely unable to move and very frustrated. Not that there was anything that needed to be done or anywhere she needed to be. She just felt very uncomfortable laying almost naked in Cullen Stanton Rutherford’s bed. She looked up and saw the light dance on the dust particles fluttering down through the large hole in the ceiling. She felt her eyelids grow heavy and she yawned. She fell asleep, for how long she didn’t know, all she knew was when she finally opened her eyes it was dark outside and the flickering light of candles danced out the corner of her eye. She tried to sit up and still it was of no use, “fenedhis!” she mumbled rolling over to stare up at the ceiling again, the stars in the night sky completely foreign to her.  


“Awake up there,” Cullen voice echoed around the room, groggy and tired.  


She thought for a moment, he must have worked extra hard during her slumber, “awake yes, though I still cannot move,” she yelled down back at him. She laid there, grumping in her head wondering what has all happened since she slept. She listened to something metallic clank around downstairs and then his feet pounding on the rungs of the ladder. She leaned up on the bed and watched as a metal tray slid across the floor and then his head popped up. He climbed the whole way up and grabbed the tray. Sarah had seen him laying down without his armor on but now she saw him standing up and with only a thin linen shirt and brown leather pants.  


“How are you feeling Commander?” she smiled sweetly, as she struggled to sit up in the bed, watching his cheeks redden as the blanket pooled about her waist. She quickly pulled the blanket up to cover herself, “I’m sorry, do you have a shirt I could use?”  


Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and laid the tray at the foot of the bed as he walked over to his chest and pulled out a fresh short sleeve tunic, “here, though I do not see how it will be of use to you.”  


Sarah grinned as she slipped it over her head, grunting slightly at the exertion of her muscles. She managed to pull it down and cover herself, “much more comfortable for you now?” she let out a soft chuckle, “come, you need to eat,” she let out a soft grunt as she shimmied back up to lean against the headboard.  


Cullen slid the tray up closer to her, “you are still very weak. It will take more time for you to recover your energy. You risked a lot,” his face fell as he looked away.  


“I would do it again,” Sarah didn’t hesitate as she picked up a piece of cheese and popped it into her mouth.  


Cullen turned back to her quickly and with a look of intense shock on his face. He was without words for several moments as Sarah watched him, his expression switching between pensive and shame, “Cullen, I..” she choked on the words, wanting so badly to utter them and finally admit them out loud. She let out a nervous giggle and brushed her hair from her face. She let out a long sigh, “fenedhis, I care for you.”  


Cullen’s scarred lip curled up, “I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you,” he rubbed his neck and got a little closer to her, “we’re at war and things are dangerous. I’ve wanted to but,” he leaned over the tray and grew closer to her, “but it seems too much to ask.”  


“You don’t need to,” she watched his eyes as they closed and he got closer to her. She could feel his hot breath on her lips and she felt the urge build within her core. She needed this, wanted this and she eagerly leaned in, meeting his lips.  


His lips were soft, so very soft against her own. She wasn’t expecting the passion that bloomed from within her as she eagerly kissed him back. She felt him brush his one hand across his face cupping it tenderly. She couldn’t help the sigh that slipped from her lips as he pulled back, feeling the heat in his palm radiate over her skin.  


“I’m sorry,” he chuckled, “that was really nice.”  


She loved the look in his eyes, the sudden surprised coupled with the shock of the emotion she was drawing out of him, “it was very nice,” she smiled reaching up to touch his face, her hand shaking as she did.  


“You are still very weak, you should eat and get some more rest,” he started to stand from the bed.  


Sarah used all her strength to reach out and grip his arm, “please, stay,” her face flushed a bright red as she looked over at him.  


Cullen smiled over at her as his face flushed softly as he looked over at her, “I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”  


“I just slept on top of you nearly completely naked last night. I think sleeping beside each other tonight should be alright. I am in your bed,” she smiled as she yawned.  


“Alright,” Cullen smiled, “have you eaten enough?” he pointed to the tray.  


“I am not as hungry as I thought. I’m really tired,” she yawned again, sliding down the bed and pulling the pillows down underneath her head.  


Cullen picked up the tray and placed it on the floor away from the bed. He stripped off his pants and shirt, tossing them aside as he slipped into bed.


	7. I've Made a Terrible Mistake

Sarah opened her eyes to the bright sunlight shining down from the large hole in the ceiling. She felt the strength returned to her limbs and then she remembered Cullen’s lips last night. She rolled over and felt the space beside her. Empty. She let out a sigh as she knew he had work to do, clearly, he was still the Commander of the army after all. She sat up and stretched her limbs out before she leaned down and reclaimed her clothes. She dressed slowly, and when she was ready she ran her hands through her hair and retied it up. She climbed down the ladder and turned to see Cullen looming over a stack of papers.  


“Good morning Sarah,” he smiled at her, standing up straight, his breast plate gleaming in the sun.  


Sarah smiled, “I feel much better this morning,” she walked around his desk to stand beside him, “did you sleep well? Are you feeling alright?” she touched his face, soft and smooth, freshly shaved and warm.  


“I am much better today, thank you,” he smiled back up at her, “I am glad you feel better,” he glanced over at the stack of papers on his desk, “I have quite a bit of work today before lunch. Join me for dinner?” he smiled brightly up at her.  


Sarah leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose, then his cheek, then she tenderly kissed his lips, “I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” she gently ran her hand over his cheek and let out a sigh, “I really don’t want to leave you,” she let out a chuckle.  


Cullen chuckled and caressed her hand against his face, “we are waiting for word from Hawke’s friend in Crestwood. Once we get word from him, we will have a better idea of what Corypheus has planned.”  


Sarah nodded and took a half step back, “then I guess I’ll have to find something to do to busy myself till dinner,” she took a step towards the door and opened it, “please, be sure to eat and take a rest. Maybe a little physical training with the soldiers?” she smiled as she walked out the door and shut it gently behind herself. She walked down the stone steps and towards the tavern. As she got to the bottom she tried to think of something to do, something to pass the time.  


“Lady Lavellan,” Cassandra called to her waving over to her corner.  


Sarah stood up straighter and walked over to the corner, watching as Cassandra sheathed her sword, “yes Lady Seeker, what is it you require of me?”  


Cassandra relaxed and stood with her hands clasped before her, “I recognized your voice the other day as I went to check on the Commander. May I enquire as to what occurred in his office the other day?”  


Sarah let out a soft nervous chuckle, “it wasn’t what it sounded like,” she scrubbed the back of her neck, “the Commander was having a…” she struggled to find the words then she took a few steps closer and lowered her voice, “his withdrawal. I know you are aware of it. It took everything I had to get him through it,” she looked around nervously, “he’s better now. At least he will be.”  


Cassandra remained stoic and didn’t shift in her position, “I am aware of his condition yes. We spoke early. I am also aware of your valiant effort yesterday. I am grateful for your help and care of the Commander. He is a stubborn man,” she let out a huffing chuckle, “he seems quite taken with you.”  


Sarah blushed brightly, “I, uh,” she brushed her hand over her cheek and tucked a lock of hair behind her pointed ear, “he does?” she giggled giddily.  


Cassandra made a disgusted noise as she let out a faint, barely audible laugh, “yes, it is quite plain on his face. I do hope you will be good to him, he has been through quite a lot,” Cassandra raise her eyebrow scanning over Sarah.  


“I am aware of some of what he has been through. I overheard his conversation with the Inquisitor. I have no ill intentions with Cullen, though he is a lucky man to have such a caring friend in you Cassandra,” she smiled and bowed softly, “is there anything I can do to help?”  


A slow, warm smiled spread across Cassandra’s face as she looked over at Sarah, “I require nothing, as of yet but I appreciate the offer to help. See that the Commander is well. I have things requiring my time and energy, thank you for speaking with me,” she turned and headed back to the practice dummies and drew her blade.  


Sarah ambled off towards the main keep. Perhaps there was something in the library she could go over that would help kill the time before dinner. Something that may be of use to something. She walked up the large stone curved stairway till she reached the large open doors of the keep. She carefully slipped inside and headed through the door next to Varric. She gave a slight smile seeing him sitting, quill in hand, jotting down words as quickly as his chubby little hands would go. She walked through Solas’s rotunda, trying not to make eye contact with the elf but he stopped her anyways, “lethallin, is everything alright?”  


“Oh hahren, I’m sorry to have disturbed you. I am on my way to the library,” she bowed softly, painfully aware she was talking to the dread wolf himself. The man set on tearing the veil down to restore his people.  


“Anything in particular you are looking for da’len?” he stood a little taller by his desk, abandoning his scroll.  


“Working on some healing potions, perhaps there is a better recipe, or a way to improve the one we are using. There were too many losses at Haven,” she shook her head, “perhaps I am trying too hard again,” she couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at her own statement. She watched as Solas’s face remained nearly unmoved save for a slight lift of his left eyebrow, so subtle it was almost invisible, if she hadn’t been aware of who he really was.  


“You wish to help, that is commendable. Do you have plans once this is over? Once the humans stop this Corypheus,” he settled down into his chair, his fingers tented as he leaned back.  


“I plan to help, until my help is no longer needed. Perhaps then I will move on, to what I know not,” she tried to remain stoic, calm and keep her emotions in check. She was after all dealing with a man nearly a thousand years old and while currently weak, still very powerful.  


“Thank you for the honest answer,” he smiled, his thin lips curling back over his white teeth, “there is much to do. If you are looking for a particular book, Dorian Pavus may be able to point you to what you seek. If there is anything I can do to assist you, I am here as well.”  


“Thank you hahren,” again she bowed softly at the hip, dipping down just a touch, “do you know much of lyrium? I know the dwarves know more than most, but I lack the power to collect information from them. If they would be willing to share such information,” she couldn’t help the small huff that flew from her lips.  


Solas looked down at his papers, “I know remarkably little of lyrium. Perhaps the Inquisitor could petition the children of the stone for such information. Though I doubt they would give up their secrets easily. May I enquire your need on such information?”  


“It is a healing matter. Do you know much about Templars? Their abilities or how they get them?” she waited watching as Solas calmly nodded his head, “I need to know how the lyrium is made, how it reacts to mages and those who are not mages. There has to be a way to remove it from the non-mage bodies. A potion, powder or even spell,” she caught herself getting carried away, “we have many injured perhaps the red lyrium could be removed like the dwarven lyrium. I am getting ahead of myself, there is much research to do,” she bowed for a third time, catch the slight amusement in his eyes.  


“Best of luck in your research. It may be of great value. I shall put the request to the Inquisitor in for you, if she can get such information I shall pass it along,” he picked up his quill and began scribbling down a note, “goodbye.”  


“Dirath shiral, hahren,” Sarah turned and walked up the spiral staircase leading into the library. She was absolutely enamored to see the walls lined with books, a couple of tables set out between a few alcoves. She noticed Dorian almost immediately. His buckles glistening in the light pouring in from the small window in his alcove, a stack of books at his feet as he picked through the bookcase set on located something. She walked over to him, calm and quiet, “Ser Dorian, I was told you could help me find some books,” she smiled standing off to the side.  


“Oh my, which kind of books do you desire?” he crossed his arms and looked her over, awaiting her answer.  


“I am looking for anything on lyrium. Anything at all, please, it’s rather important,” she began fiddling with her gloves.  


“My dear girl you’ll worry yourself to death before I pull you any books,” he turned and started running his fingers over the spines of the books, “hmm, this may take longer than I thought, there seems to be remarkably little on lyrium. What are you looking for in particular?”  


“I’m looking to cure lyrium from the non-mage body. I believe I’ll need to know how lyrium works and its reactions with the human body. Perhaps it’s composition, how it’s distilled into a drinkable form,” she sighed and rubbed her fingers over her forehead, “perhaps I am in over my head.”  


Dorian chuckled, “you must be Sarah. I’ve heard such wondrous things about you,” he gripped the spine of a book and carefully pulled it out, groaning he carelessly tossed it over his shoulder, “eager to help, saved quite the large group of people at Haven, and the personal favorite of a particularly strapping young ex-templar.”  


Sarah flushed bright red, “sweet Maker,” she sighed, remembering that Dorian was quite the sassy character.  


“Ah not a word, I’ve have a few books here. All very rudimentary but it is a start,” he pulled out two tomes in his large hand and passed them calmly to her, “here, once you are done these I shall have a few more prepared,” he waved her off continuing to delve through the walls of books.  


Sarah nodded and rushed away to an empty table and began reading by the candle light. It took her an hour to get through the first book describing the use of lyrium and the effects on mages. She began to understand as she cracked open the second book. Researching the creation of the Templar Order by Brother Genetivi. She had to chuckle as it seemed any major research in Thedas was done by that man and that man alone. She pulled up some paper and a quill on the table and began making notes. She was thankful her mother hand bought her a calligraphy pen set for Christmas when she was young. For once in her life she was liking her penmanship. She yawned and looked up to see people slowly shuffling out of the library.  


“My dear, it is dinner time, come books can wait,” Fiona smiled down as she rested her hand on Sarah’s shoulder, “you study like a young child in the Circle, eager to please her teacher.”  


Sarah stood up from her work, pushing her chair in and picking up her scribblings, “not so much to please my teacher, more to perfect my work,” she smiled realizing who she was speaking to, “would you happen to know much about lyrium?”  


Fiona shook her head, “I’m sorry but that market is cornered by the dwarves. Perhaps Master Tethras could be of help to you,” she turned and motioned Sarah to follow, “but you need to eat child. You will need to keep your energy up if you plan on saving the world.”  


“Not the world per say, just someone special,” she smiled as they walked down the steps and crossed Solas’s rotunda to enter the main hall, “I think I see Master Tethras, thank you for your kind words. My name is Sarah.”  


“You may call me Fiona. Take care child and if you need help I’ll be in the library most times,” she turned and disappeared into the gossiping group by the front door.  


Sarah stopped and sat down beside Varric, “Master Tethras, may I ask your help on a matter?”  


Varric peered up over his glasses, “ah if it isn’t Curly’s favorite healer. What can I do for you?”  


Sarah giggled, “I’m looking for information on lyrium. I need to know how’s its distilled to be drank. I’m looking to cure lyrium from the body, possibly even red lyrium if I can get the regular stuff to work. But there is remarkably little on lyrium. Would you happen to have some connections that have information? I know I must be asking a lot,” she scrunched her nose up and sighed.  


“You might have been better off asking me to shovel Haven out with a shield,” the dwarf chuckled as he shook his head, “listen Giggles, it’s a cut throat business lyrium production. More so than anything else I’ve seen. In fact, if we were smart we could let it slip Corypheus has the secret mixture ratios to raw lyrium. The guilds might have him flayed before noon,” he sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his broad chest, causing more of his chest to peek out from under the half buttoned shirt, “I know what you’re trying to do and I applaud your efforts. Let me see what I can get, but I’m not promising anything.”  


Sarah nearly jumped out of her chair, “oh thank you! I owe you one, if you can get me anything,” she was excited to see what this was all about and if she could come up with a solution.  


“Whoa Giggles, I said I’d try. They may also decide to send assassins, try to keep your head down and focus on keeping Curly happy. The man’s smiling these last few days. Smiling!” Varric chuckled, “go on get out of here, get yourself something to eat.”  


Sarah stood up and smiling she half raced off back through the rotunda and across the ramparts to Cullen’s office. She eagerly wanted to walk into, perhaps even distract him with a kiss or even treat his shoulders to a firm massage. She felt her stomach flutter and her palms become damp as she licked her lips and stared at the door. Varric’s words stinging in her ear, “the man’s smiling,” she had to repeat them softly under her breath as she smiled wide. She drew in a deep breath and knocked softly on the door, “Commander, are you ready for dinner?” she cracked the door open slightly to see him hunched over papers, a smudge of ink across his cheek and a mess strewn about his office.  


“Is it dinner time already? Maker’s breath,” he ran his hand through his hair, a few loose curls bouncing over his gloved knuckles. The long day and sweat had begun to undo his hard fought diligence.  


Sarah snickered into her hand as she looked over at the mess of a man sitting behind the oversized desk, “Maker you’re a mess,” she crossed the room quickly and licking her thumb began to wipe away the ink from his face.  


Cullen chuckled as he reached up and gripped her hand softly, “did I have ink on my face, again.”  


“Yes, a long smear of it,” she smiled holding his hand in hers, “it does nothing to undermine your distinguished look, Commander,” she ran her thumb over his cheek bone, stroking away the last of the ink.  


“We should proceed to dinner,” he stood up, a few papers fluttering down to the ground.  


Sarah picked up the few papers and set them on the desk. She helped arrange the papers, “let’s straighten these quickly before we go. That way if a messenger comes through to collect them he will be aware of what to take. You can place the uncompleted pages in your desk drawer,” she began to help him gather up the pages he had completed and stack them carefully on the corner of his desk.  


“Thank you for the assistance,” he gathered the last of his papers and placed them in his drawer, “let’s get down to the tavern before the crowds arrive.”  


Sarah smiled and walked over to the door and opened it wide. They both stepped out onto the battlements and headed down the stone steps leading to the tavern. Cullen tenderly reached down and let his hand grace hers, not openly seeking to hold hers, just a subtle message. She felt her cheeks flush brightly as they walked through the door. She nervously reached up and tucked a loose coil behind her ear as she looked around. Noticing Cabot behind the large wooden table serving as a bar top. She could hear Maryden playing her lute and singing softly as she followed Cullen up the stairs and towards a quiet table to the right of the stairs.  


“Stay here and I’ll get us something to eat,” Cullen smiled as he pulled a chair out for her.  


“Alright,” she took her seat and looked around as Cullen walked back down the stairs. As he disappeared from her line of sight she took a moment to relax, pulling her papers from her pouch she began reading over her research. Trying to find connections between her scribblings and things that she could do. So much would require research and lab materials she didn’t have let alone the abilities she didn’t have either. She sunk her chin down on her hand and pondered the different things she’d have to start working on. She had a running theory on the lyrium withdrawal process but as she was painfully aware of, Cullen was the first one who’d ever tried to do it.  


“Still pouring over research at this hour,” Dorian quipped as he stood over her, a goblet in hand.  


“It won’t solve itself sadly Master Pavus,” she chuckled softly as she folded her papers up, “what I’m choosing to work on isn’t an easy fix and one that may land me into a heap of trouble with the Chantry. I highly doubt they’ll be very happy if I find a way to break their precious lyrium leashes. Not to mention the information I’m asking for from he dwarves could land me in a hive of assassins,” she sighed heavily.  


Dorian laughed brightly, his velvety voice resonating around her, “ah my dear you speak as if you were the harbinger of the end of days. Cheer up my dear. Bring this research to me and I’ll assist you in running some theories. I’ve always enjoyed being a pariah, I’m quite good at it. Tomorrow morning, my alcove. I’ll have some more books to go through,” he smiled and waved his hand, “enjoy your dinner, I look forward to seeing you in the morning,” he paused before he turned and walked away, “not too early.”  


Sarah felt a rush of excitement as Dorian walked away. She would have some of the best help come the morning. She sat looking over to the stairs and saw Cullen coming up, a tray in his hands. She smiled brightly watching him focus on the tray with each step as he crested the top of the stairs and made his way effortlessly to the table, “everything went well?” she reached up and helped guide the tray down to the table.  


“Yes, minus Cabot’s sour nature. He surely didn’t spend his years in any human taverns that much is clear,” Cullen sighed as he took a seat across from Sarah.  


Sarah let out a soft chuckle as she began to help herself to the meal before her, “I’m just glad we’re spending some quiet time together,” she sighed, not wanting to look up at him for a moment. This was all too much. After all he was real, the food tasted real, the alcohol made her head buzz and swirl. It would be real to lay with him, feel everything. His skin against hers, his breath on her neck, it would be wonderful and perfect, but in the end, it would only be a moment. When the time comes and she escaped this world she would leave alone.  


Cullen noticed the change in her, “is everything alright Sarah?” he set down his mug.  


“I’m fine, it’s fine, fine,” she nervously picked up her goblet and started to drink it down rapidly. She wanted to feel better than the torment flowing under the surface. After all they’d be heading to Adamant soon, then the Winter Palace. If she was to go to the Winter Palace. How would she manage that one? She wanted to see Halamshiral in person, it must be more beautiful than the graphics showed. To smell the wine and sweet cakes linger in the air, it would be wondrous. She set her glass down and pushed a smile upon her face, “how’s the planning going? Have you heard back from Hawke’s friend? I hope it isn’t anything bad.”  


“We have heard back and the Inquisitor is on her way to the Western Approach to meet up with Warden Stroud and Hawke. We should hear back before too long. From their we can make preparation to whatever is required,” he carefully began picking through his meal, his eyes focused on her.  


“The Western Approach, that sounds quite perilous. Does she have sturdy people with her?” she began to focus on the food, and keeping the conversation moving. She needed to think business needed to push something between them to keep this away. To make the hurt less when the time came.  


“Yes, very much so. She has taken with her Ser Blackwall, Seeker Cassandra and Vivienne,” he took a sip from his mead, “I was expecting a report before you pulled me away for dinner.”  


“I’m sorry,” she bowed her head and looked away. Why did she suddenly feel shame? Why was his gaze peering through her? How she wanted to tell him the truth. Tell him everything about her but she couldn’t what would he think of her. He’d brand her, toss her in the darkest jails of Skyhold, and after everything she’d never get home. Home… looking at him did she even want to go home anymore. Her stomach flipped over and she turned back, picking through the meal, taking small nibbles.  


“There is nothing to be sorry about,” he reached out and gently gripped her hand on the table. He tenderly ran his thumb over her knuckles.  


Sarah couldn’t help but sigh, the warm feeling bursting in her core at his tender touch, “I suppose if I didn’t come to get you, you risked missing your meal. Did you even stop to lunch?” she arched her eyebrow and glared at him, the glare breaking into a soft giggle as his face flushed brightly, “you didn’t, I knew it!”  


“I was buried in reports I missed the other day. There was and is so much work to do and without it we risk issues with…” he let out a weary sigh, “I’m lecturing again.”  


“Cullen, I understand your devotion to the cause but you are no good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. How will you train the men? See to the army? Or handle the mountains of paperwork without proper nutrition and some relaxation?” she sat back in her chair her arms folded across her chest tightly, “not to mention my poor heart...” she sighed and dropped her grip on her chest, “it pains me to see you like this.”  


Cullen’s eyes lit up wide, “I…never thought of it that way,” he seemed genuinely shocked for a moment.  


Sarah reached forward and touched his hand, “I’m sorry that was harsh, and unkind.”  


“No, no, it was spoken from the heart and honest. You are correct. I do not tend to myself as I should. I shall endeavour to take better care of my health,” he focused hard and began to dig into his meal with renewed fervor.  


Sarah couldn’t help but stifle a giggle into her arm as she watched his brow furrow up into a pensive knot as he attended to his meal as if they were his papers. She picked up her fork and set about her meal as well, a smile firmly on her lips. She finished her meal and sat in silence for a moment, pouring herself another glass of red wine from the bottle Cullen had brought. She sipped it slowly as he finally finished his meal, plate clean, “did you taste any of that?” she giggled wrinkling her nose up at him.  


Cullen wiped his mouth off on a cloth, “I did taste it, thank you,” he grinned back at her.  


Sarah took a heavy dredge of her glass and set it down, “well, any plans for the evening?” she swirled the goblet on the table, playing with the stem of the glass.  


“I have a few more important papers I have to complete tonight. Other than that, I am completely free,” he laughed drinking down his mug.  


“Perhaps we could spend some time together,” she blushed brightly as she gripped the goblet in her hand, the heat swirling from the wine.  


“Do you know how to play chess?” his eyes flashed as a slow smile spread across his face.  


Sarah smiled, “its been a long time since I’ve played, you’ll have to be kind to me and teach me the basics,” she stood from the chair, gripping her glass and bottle in her hand, “in your office or somewhere else?”  


“Meet me in the garden, I won’t be long,” he smiled and stood, quickly walking through the door at the top of the third staircase. She knew where it would lead, it would take him to his office through the ramparts. She took her sweet time and headed down the stairs and out towards the garden. She found the little table with a sack hanging off a hook. This must have been the spot from the cut scene with the Inquisitor. She sat down and lifted the sack, carefully trying to lay out the board as best as she could remember from her multiple play throughs.  


“Trying to set up a solo game?” Leliana’s voice pierced her focus.  


“I’m waiting for someone, but I’m guessing you already knew that,” Sarah smirked back, trying to focus on the placement of each piece, “I haven’t played this is what feels like forever.”  


Leliana laughed sweetly as she sat down in front of her, “perhaps a practice game to help sharpen your skills?” she reached out and corrected the few misplaced pieces.  


“A gentle walk through of the basics would be highly appreciated,” she smiled, watching Leliana’s quick hands as she began arranging the board, “white goes first right?” she nibbled at her lip.  


“Yes, the pawns,” she pointed at the large star shaped pieces, “they move forward only and take pieces on angle,” she placed the king and queen at the back, “the king is limited and if he cannot move, he will be in check. The queen defends the king at all costs and can move anyway on the board.”  


Sarah laughed, it was a replica of the same game in her world, “thank you so much! It’s all coming back to me.”  


“I didn’t know elves played chess,” she arched her eyebrow and looked at Sarah, “most interesting.”  


Sarah tried to remain calm, “it is something our clan traded with a group of humans. The Keeper learned and taught me. It has some practical uses,” she tried to sound sure of herself, “not common in all clans, but our clan freely and openly traded with anyone,” she prayed in her head that this explanation would be sufficient enough to get her by Leliana’s scrutiny.  


“Yes, it is interesting to see the tactics one uses in such games of strategy. Are you prepared to play?” Leliana settled into her chair and prepared to play.  


Sarah nodded and they game began. She opened up by moving the pawn before her queen two spaces forward. Which earned her a casual hum from Leliana as she mimicked her move. She moved the other pawn before the king a single step forward. It would free her mage up to move. Leliana made a move to push the pawn before the tower. Their game went back and forth for several moments, until Leliana took Sarah’s piece first. Sarah smiled gaining confidence with each move, in a moment she had Leliana’s mage and was set to take her Templar. Leliana scoffed as she tried to counter her move, but it was to no avail Sarah took her Templar first.  


This continued back and forth for an hour until Sarah finally threw her hands up in the air, “checkmate!”  


Leliana smiled sweetly, “it appears you’ve won this round. Well played,” she shuffled forward in her chair and stood up, “your style is very interesting. You chose to lay pieces to sacrifice in order to make grand moves. Very well played, almost like one of my agents.”  


Sarah smiled, “some times you have to give something small in order to get something larger or in the end to win. I am not afraid to take small losses in order to win the entire game,” she watched as Leliana nodded.  


“The Commander will have a hard time besting you, perhaps you may humble him,” she smiled, “I see him coming. I’ll leave you two alone. Enjoy your evening, lady Lavellan,” Leliana walked away from the table, stopping briefly to speak with Cullen before she disappeared into the small Chantry chapel. Cullen continued his walk back while Sarah prepared the board.  


“Leliana informs me you beat her quite readily,” he sat down a broad grin on his face, “does this mean I don’t need to refresh you on the basics of play,” he settled himself into his seat glancing over the board as she moved the pieces back into place.  


“I suppose not,” she couldn’t help the swell of pride as she bested Leliana. Maybe just maybe she’d beat him too, “do you have a preference in going first or second?”  


“It matters not, you take white,” he smiled, watching her set the last piece out and begin the game, making the same movements she had before with Leliana.  


She glanced up at him, his hands tented as he eagerly watched her movements, “Leliana didn’t tell you my choice of game strategy, did she? That would be cheating,” she moved again after he finished selecting his pawn.  


“No, it was information about the Inquisitor. It seems they ran into trouble out in the Western Approach. They’re on their way back now for a full overview, and Ambassador Montliyet is scrambling to prepare our allies and what resources she can,” he looked up moving his left Templar, “your move.”  


“Hush,” she moved her mage forward and took his Templar, “no speaking of business tonight. Come tell me of your family. You said they were in South Reach,” she leaned forward on her knees and smiled as he glanced over the board.  


“Yes. I have an older sister, Mia. A younger brother, Branson and a younger sister, Rosalie. They moved to South Reach after the Blight. They have a steady living, and last I heard from them, they were well. Though I do not write as often as I should,” he moved his tower forward a few spaces.  


“What do they do in South Reach? I’ve never been there,” she moved her mage placing it between this other Templar and his tower.  


Cullen seemed to hitch for a moment, a glance in his eyes of shame for a moment. She stopped, “you don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry if I’ve pried too far, forgive me.”  


“No, its just that. Outside of the Inquisition I have no title. I have nothing really. My family were farmers, and my mother a seamstress. I am reluctant to speak of such things,” he rubbed the back of it neck tentatively as he moved a pawn forward a single space.  


“I have no title in your lands either. Nor do I have a title here, amongst your people. If you are concerned of my affection for you requiring a title, then I am pleased to say it does not,” she moved her pawn and took his.  


There was a slow smirking grin that passed across his lips as he looked over at her, his gaze soft and affectionate, “I forget these things at times. You have the air of royalty about you when you walk and when you act. I apologize,” he took his turn and brushed his fingers over hers, “I enjoy spending time with you. It has been a long time since I’ve wanted anyone in my life.”  


She chuckled, “I feel the same way. Check,” she grinned back at him, a shocked look in his eyes, “I very much enjoy being with you.”  


Cullen looked at the board and back at her, “I may be in check but I have you in three moves,” he grinned as he moved his king out of check.  


“Really Commander, because I have you now, check mate,” she slid her tower forward and sat back in her chair, a large smirk across her face.  


“Well played! Would you care for another game?” he started to replace the pieces on the board.  


She nibbled her lip and poured herself a tall glass of wine, “I’d love to,” she couldn’t help how she felt when he looked at her and a large part of her made her decision right then and there. Yes, this was going to hurt and yes it might tear her apart but she couldn’t do. She could never break it off with him. Not when it would break him, she couldn’t bare seeing him upset or hurting. She drank down half the glass in one take, she needed something to take her nerves away. She played a few more games with him, splitting the winning evenly at two a piece. She helped him tidy up the board and she looked over her shoulder at her room above the garden, “it’s late. We should turn in for the evening. There will be a lot of work to do tomorrow.”  


Cullen’s face dropped a little, “yes, it is rather late,” he looked around to see the garden’s empty, only the two of them standing around.  


“You do not need to walk me to my room. I’ll make it fine,” she didn’t budge from her spot. How she didn’t want to go to bed alone tonight, how she wanted to go with him. She bitterly cursed the wine and carnal thoughts in her mind.  


He closed the distance between them and carefully brought his hand up to her face, cupping her cheek tenderly in his warm, gloved hand, “perhaps we shall play again tomorrow?” his breath was strong still with the honey mead and the stubble on his cheeks was beginning to grow long.  


Sarah shuttered under his touch, “I would very much like that,” her words were slow and languid as she stared dreamily into his eyes.  


He leaned in close and laid a feather light kiss upon her lips, “then tomorrow night after dinner,” he reached down and brought her hands to his lips, laying a careful kiss to each one before turning to head out the garden doors.  


Sarah lingered for a bit, fighting the urge to chase after him. To throw herself against his breast plate, dig her finger tips into his firm ass and plunge her tongue between his lips. She shivered with the thought and decided it was best instead to get some rest. She had research to do come morning after all. She turned and headed through the doors and up the spiral stairway, walking the hall until she got through to the balcony above the garden. She clung to the wall and quickly hurried until she was at her door. Once there she unlocked it and went inside. She smiled to see fresh clothes and fresh water in her basin. Calmly she stripped down to her smalls and pulled on a night gown from the wardrobe. She let out a sigh and crawled into her bed. Tomorrow she would see Dorian, get some research done and maybe with any luck that bunch of rubble in the corner would become a bathing tub. It was the final upgrades to Skyhold and surely it would be soon. She pulled her blankets up about her neck and snuggled into bed.


	8. Adamant

Sarah woke rested and ready to tackle the day as she stretched and yawned. Quietly she rose and dressed, preparing for the work of the day. She decided to create her own look, taking pieces from other outfits to make her own. A simple long sleeve tunic, with the leather waist cinch vest she loved and nearly skin tight leggings. She paired it with the thick warm boots she had worn from Haven. She strapped her pouch to her hip and combed her hair best she could before tying it back up and heading out of her room.  


She walked the balcony till she got to the door entering Vivienne’s area. She was in shock to she her perching, staring out the glass balcony. She quickly hustled to Dorian’s alcove, barely pausing for more than a moment to catch her breath, “Ser Pavus, I’m here,” she smiled up digging through her pouch for her notes, “these are terrible but I have some small notes made up.”  


Dorian smiled and looked over at her, “ah my dear every little note is important,” he guided her to a table with a small stack of books and a few scrolls.  


Sarah felt excited as she took a seat pulled out by Dorian and placed her notes beside her. She quickly snatched up a book and began pouring over the words, continuing to make little notes on a piece of parchment. She continued for what felt like a few moments, until Dorian dipped his finger over the top of her book and pulled it down, “my dear you are voracious with these books. You’ve been reading nearly non-stop for the last couple hours. I’ve taken the liberty of bring up some wine and finger foods,” he pointed to a large wine glass, brimming with red wine and a large platter filled with cheeses, fruits, hard boiled eggs, bread and mini sandwiches.  


“Thank you, Ser Pavus,” she grabbed a sandwich, “I’ve a few more notes but perhaps I am missing something,” she handed him the stack of papers, as she began munching on the sandwich.  


Dorian looked over his nose at the writings and smiled, “my dear you have. Here,” he took the quill off the table and added a few joining notes, “and here,” he continued to write.  


Sarah washed her mouth full of food down with some of the wine, finding it a bit tart compared to the Rowan she was becoming used to, “does it answer anything? I feel like I am missing so much more and am no where near where I want to be,” she sighed, taking a piece of cheese.  


“My dear you are on to something here. Very much so I’d say. Exactly what I can’t tell quite yet but I sense we’ll have an answer for you very soon. You have a very keen eye for getting just the right information we need,” he eyed over the books and skipped the scrolls.  


Sarah nodded and began again, delving into books till her eyes burned. She rubbed her face and looked over to Dorian, “my eyes are getting sore,” she chuckled, “perhaps a break?”  


Dorian grinned, “I think I have just the break you need,” he stood smiling, “follow me,” he walked down to the spiral steps and led her to the main hall entrance, “this will get your mind off doing the impossible,” he grinned as the sound of clashing metal filled their ears, followed by the easily distinguishable male grunting.  


“What’s going on Dorian? I can’t see over you,” she giggled as Dorian blocked her view as they walked down the stone steps till they were just on the main level. Then Dorian moved calmly to the side and she could see it. The training ring outside the tavern, across from the armory. In the training ring was a shirtless Commander Cullen and three recruits. All, attempted to break his defense, none succeeding.  


Sarah’s jaw dropped and she felt her heart flutter seeing the tight, firm muscle of his torso clench and define sharply as he parried and blocked each attackers’ stance. She licked her lips, “I should have brought my wine.”  


Dorian chuckled softly, “I knew this would help relax you. Let’s face it, this is a much better vision than staring at the stone walls and tiring your eyes on those papers,” he crossed his arms and carefully toyed with his moustache.  


All she could do in reply was let out a soft hum between her lips. Afraid anything more would call unwanted attention to herself. She couldn’t help but think of all the horrid smut she’d read about this, about how he’d be ready and willing for more intimate things afterwards. It made her partially wonder and even entertain testing it. Dorian must have read her mind as she leaned in close, “I wonder if he is as powerful and masterful in the bedroom.”  


Sarah blushed bright red, feeling the heat not only pool in her stomach but now it was flushing her chest, her neck and her face red, “Maker’s breath, Dorian,” she giggled softly.  


“Ah you haven’t yet, Varric owes me twenty silver,” he leaned back as they watched Cullen disarm and yield one of the three opponents. His hair becoming disheveled, the sweat eating away his hair product leaving tight curls about his neck and around his forehead. She tried to focus on his features, after all a pixel man is much different than the breathing man of flesh before her. She could just faintly make out a trail of hair dipped below his beltline and tufts of golden hair about his arms. She was more in shock of the myriad of scars running the length of his back, chest and arms. She’d only seen something similar playing the Witcher. Geralt of Rivia would be the only one who could top his scars. All faded and some deep. How has she not noticed them before? She did lay with him, strip him near naked but only now in the bright, beaming light of mid-afternoon did she finally see what the developers missed.  


“He’s so beat up,” she mumbled half aware of herself.  


“My dear he’s an ex-templar. I’d say he was in, impeccable condition,” Dorian grinned watching him render the second man defenseless.  


She sighed heavily standing to the side just out of Cullen’s sight line, “he’s a master with the sword and shield,” she was practically glowing as she watched him. The last man giving him a bit of trouble.  


“I’m certain he’s quite masterful at a few things,” Dorian teased as he spoke with her, “though Bull is convinced there is something more to you. I dare say I don’t see it.”  
“What?!” she turned to face him, seeing a very plain look on his face before turning back to watch Cullen just block the sword swipe from the man, “that last one. He’s no recruit, is he?”  


Dorian snickered, “that is Knight Captain Rylen. He’s equally good, I believe. Yes, Bull believes you have some dark little secret,” Dorian scoffed, “don’t we all.”  


“I’ve been honest in my intentions,” she nearly buckled watching Cullen block a high swipe, his abs tightening, the skin drawing against the muscles, perfectly outlining a sublime six pack set of abs, “and apparent rather transparent in my affections.”  


Dorian patted her on the shoulder, “my dear, you seem a decent sort and if you were to carry some dark secret, it is yours. I am not here to judge you.”  


Sarah wet her lips. She remembered Dorian and his knowledge of time magic. She so needed someone to talk to, “Dorian, can you keep a secret? Well one that isn’t your own?”  


“Of course, my dear, what is it you wish to speak of?” he peered down at her, keeping his sights half on the training yard and half on her.  


“What if I told you I came through the Breach at Haven and I’m really from a different time. Years and years from the future. What would you say to that?” she felt better getting it off her chest, even though it sounded ridiculous to hear.  
Dorian mulled it around in his head for a few moments, “it would explain some things but not all. Is there more to this?”  


“Say I know all that will happen, everyone’s dark little secrets and pasts. Say if I interrupt them, it may cause serious issues and I’ve fallen madly, deeply in love with that adonis of a man,” she sighed watching Rylen and Cullen continue to parry and counter each other.  


“I’d say my dear you are in a terrible position and one you’d wish to keep secret. One that you would be highly afraid of. Though I don’t understand how you could handle it or what will happen to you, I can say I get the idea. How will you return to your timeline? Hypothetically,” he winked over at her.  


“You don’t believe me, do you?” she folded her arms across her chest and huffed, “I know you prefer the company of men. I know your father attempted to have you altered with blood magic. I know he seeks forgiveness and I know you wish desperately for it, but are uncertain if you can grant it. I also know you are interested in the Iron Bull and that amatus means beloved. Yet all these things are impossible to know since I’ve only spoken to you twice. I also know Captain Rylen is from Starkhaven, was transferred to Kirkwall where he met Cullen. He followed him here, is a very straight to the point man, enjoys folk songs and is loyal to the core to the Inquisition and it’s cause,” she stopped seeing Dorian’s face turn white, “now you know why I can say nothing and you understand I cannot interfere with the timeline. Lest I unleash something far worse than what we face.”  


Dorian drew in a tight, deep breath, “I believe you. It is all a bit much to take in, but I believe you. The fact you crafted so many potions and have fought so hard to save those people at Haven, means you mean well. I won’t doubt that,” he licked his dry lips, “I will keep your secret, as I understand the possible tear in the timeline. If you’ll excuse me, I need to think this over some,” he quickly excused himself and walked back into the keep.  


Sarah sighed and looked back at the training ring, Cullen and Rylen taking a quick water break before continuing their match. Had she just made a terrible mistake? Dorian had studied time travel and had gotten it to work with Alexius and since Trevelyan did that quest sure Dorian’s concern for the timeline would prevent him from telling anyone else. She sighed and watched as Cullen prepared himself again to face off against Rylen, a wicked grin creeping up his scarred lip, barring his teeth like a lion. She nibbled on her lip. She couldn’t help but play over the words Dorian spoke, Cullen possibly being as masterful in the bedroom. She watched as Rylen feigned high and came down low. It seemed Cullen expected such a rouse as he brought his shield down low and as it caught Rylen’s sword he drove up, leaping off his feet, driving his shield upwards with such force it knocked Rylen off his feet and sent his sword sailing to the side. Rylen landed flat on his back let out a loud gasp as the air escaped his lungs forcefully. Cullen landed on his feet, straddling Rylen, he placed the tip of the blade just over Rylen’s throat, “yield?” she could hear him, despite the battle his voice didn’t falter and his breathing though increased, was steady and strong.  


“Aye, you win this one,” Rylen let out a chuckle, between coughing fits as he struggled to gain his breath.  


Sarah couldn’t help but let out a giggle as several recruits laughed and clapped alongside her. She watched as Cullen helped Rylen up off the ground, uttering something between the two of them, both letting out a hearty laugh as Rylen got up to his feet. She turned to walk away, intent to head back to the library to continue her research. She let out another giggle as she heard Cullen giving instructions the group of recruits. One foolish enough to sass him, the sound of the other recruits nearly all gasping in horror at the same time. She turned and stopped her march to see what unfolded.  


“You think a few men will tire me? Perhaps now I am weak enough to withstand your pathetic attempts at male dominance?” he had a bright grin on his face as he set wiping the sweat from his brow with a rag.  


The insubordinate recruit chuckled, “ya I fink I coulds take ya,” he patted his chest like an ape, “you ain’t so tough.”  


She leaned against the stone wall and smiled. This would be quite the show, and by the look on Cullen’s face he was going to make quite the example out of this young, uneducated fool, “get your arse in the ring, come take me like a man then,” he gripped his shield tight and spun the pommel of his sword in his palm, “since I’m a weak and tired old man, compared to your glorious youth.”  


Sarah nearly burst into laughter as Cullen’s words only bolstered the young man’s foolish thought. The other recruits hovered in anticipation, some taking bets as they watched on. Sarah knew how this would go, she knew about his Arbor Wilds trip in the game. Forty-eight hours of fighting only stopping once each day for one hour to rest and refuel. No, he was far from done. She snickered mercilessly as the recruit puffed his chest out and drew his sword and shield. He’d stopped bolstering but now it was a matter of taking care of business. Cullen stalked him low and ready, countering a few of his hits, slamming him back a couple times with a rough bash of his shield. The young man was beginning to get frustrated that none of his advances were gaining him an inch of ground. Cullen casually dodged his clumsy forward attack and skirted him, turning the flat of the blade and giving the young man a painful swat across the rear.  


She snickered with the large gathering crowd as the young man tumbled down into the dirt. He came up surprisingly fast, uttering multiple curses as he rubbed his wounded pride. He must have uttered something offensive, because Cullen face began to twist into a wicked sneer. His teeth gritted tightly, “say that again, recruit,” he ground his heel into the dirt.  


“I said you like to plough dirty knife ear wenches,” the man spit as he tugged at his breeches.  


Sarah took a half step forth, she felt time stand still as the man laughed and lunged at Cullen. It was nothing to counter him and this time Cullen kicked his hard, right in the rear sending him skidding on his face. The crowd howling with delight. Sarah focused now on the man. His pride had been wounded twice, surely he’d had enough. That’s when she caught the glint of metal, something small, “throwing knife..” she uttered barely able to talk as she frantically shoved her way to the ring.  


“Damn filthy knife ear ploughing, son of a bastard!” the man sputtered spiting a long line of blood and dirt.  


Sarah shoved and shoved, trying to yell over the crowd but it was no use. She squeezed as best as she could eyes set on the knife, seeing the man grip it tightly in his hand and set to let it fly as he stood. Sarah focused her hands out before her, “barrier around Cullen, barrier around Cullen,” she chanted over and over, closing her eyes as she forced her magic out. She heard a gasp, the sound of a knife hitting the dirt and then a growl. She opened her eyes to see Cullen holding the man by the scruff of his neck.  


“Get this man to the prison. I will inform the Inquisitor; she shall handle this when she returns. Everyone else, back to your drills!” he looked over at Sarah, shaking his head as he tossed the man to two soldiers dressed in Inquisition plate mail.  


Sarah turned to walk away when someone grabbed her arm, “you saved the Commander. Weren’t no way he’d have seen the knife in time. He couldn’t hear a thing over the crowd,” Rylen stood with his arms folded, “you must be his lass. Don’t let the words of that shite eater get to you.”  


“I didn’t overstep doing that? Cullen seemed so angry,” she sighed crossing her arms over her chest tight.  


“Listen lass, he’s in the ring. You aren’t dealing with the man, you be dealing with the lion and he didn’t get his feed so to speak. Give him time to calm down, you’ll see,” he sighed, “give him a couple hours lass, this changes nothing,” he smiled reassuring to her.  


Sarah nodded, “I have work to do, I’ll go to him later. Unless,” she looked up to see him slam his office door shut, “no, no I’d be walking into a lion den. Later tonight,” she smiled back at Rylen, “thank you. Well fought match earlier by the way. Could have gone to either of you.”  


“Aye you’re too kind. Take care,” he bowed and left her at the foot of the stairs.  


She quickly rushed up the stairs and through the main hall, several people stopping and pointing at her. She raced on through Solas’s rotunda and up to Dorian in the alcove. She walked by him and sat at the research table they’d set up. For a long time, she sat and stared at the notes, uncertain of anything. She wanted to break something and cry all in the same heartbeat.  


“I heard about what happened at the training circle, tough call,” Varric smiled sitting beside her, his little hands helping organize the papers.  


“It… was not what I wanted…” she sighed resting her head in her hands.  


Varric chuckled, “you did the right thing giving Curly a hand. No way he would have seen that in time. You saved his ass on that one,” he handed her the small stack of her notes, “it wasn’t saving him that upset you was it though. Go, talk to him before he rips the head off some poor messenger.”  


Sarah smiled and stood up, “I would feel better talking to him, thank you Master Tethras.”  


“Please call me Varric,” he grinned, “go get him Giggles!”  


Sarah walked calmly down the stairwell and slipped through the rotunda to the ramparts. She could just make out the sound of daggers slamming into something as she opened the door, “Cullen?” she peeked in to see him tossing daggers into the dummy in the corner, back in his full armor.  


“Sarah!” he let the last one fly, sinking deep into the forehead of the dummy.  


“I came to see if you were alright. I thought I might have overstepped when I cast out that barrier,” she fidgeted with the hair around her ear, tucking the few strands behind it.  


Cullen quickly came around his desk, “no, Maker no!” he quickly swept her up in his arms and pulled her tightly to him, “no.”  


Sarah let out a long sigh of relief, “you looked so angry, I was frightened that I had upset you,” she reached up and looped her arms behind his neck.  


“No, I was upset that you had to hear such tripe from that bastard,” he half growled between gritted teeth.  


“He doesn’t matter, what he thinks doesn’t matter,” she rested her head in the fur of his mantle.  


He held her tight for a few moments more before he pulled her back, “it is not right you are subjected to such vulgar words,” he ran his hand down her face, “and I have further news. We are leaving for Adamant in the morning. Healer Elan claims we are very well stocked with potions still. She has found several assistants and no longer requires your help. She fears you work too hard.”  


“Adamant!” Sarah exhaled sharply, “am I to stay back with the camp to tend the wounded after the attack?” she tried to sound brave, the thought of facing demons and all that made her stomach swirl and head feel light.  


“Yes, you are to take charge of the wounded. Nothing more. Though I will be sure to outfit you with a bow and arrows just to be safe. You have remarkable skill with them,” he let her slowly go.  


“I suppose you’ll want to make this evening an early night,” she sighed, “I should as well. It may require a lot of my energy. Am I to pack anything or is it being dealt with?  


Cullen took a step away and pulled some papers off his desk, “Elan is ensuring the potions make it to properly packed crates and are placed on a wagon. If there are personal objects or possessions, you require you must be sure to pack them yourself. We leave shortly after day break.”  


Suddenly things were being drawn back to reality for her. Sure, Cullen would be safe, the inner circle and a vast majority of soldiers but this would be bloody and brutal before it was over. Let alone the fact that this was the quarter mark of the game. She looked over to Cullen who was focused back in his papers having calmed back down to a tolerable level. She sighed and turned to leave, “I’ll come see you for dinner. I have a few things to tend to,” she didn’t bother to hear his answer she walked across the ramparts, up the stairwell and back to her research spot. She gathered her papers and a few books and made her way to her room. Once inside she locked the door and turned, “Maker be praised a washing tub!” she sighed as she looked over. She remembered the fanfic she’d written about her elven mage filling a tub using magic. She held her hands out and envisioned rain and sure enough it was pouring into the tub. Next, she stuck her hands in and heated the water till she was satisfied. She looked over at the wardrobe to see little bottles, with fancy bows. She was confident they were soaps and she stripped, grabbed them and got into the water.  


She laid in the water, enjoying the soak for a long time before she finally washed and rinsed her hair and body. She saw the towel on the chair and dried off. She dug out fresh under garments and tossed on a night gown. It was just getting late, she was tired and tomorrow would be a rapid dash of cut scenes. Crawling into bed she drifted off into sleep, only to awake, what felt like the next morning but instead she found herself laying on a cot outside of Adamant. She woke to the sound of trebuchets smashing holes into the stone walls of the fortress. She sat up, and looked around a bow and quiver beside her cot. She slung the quiver over one shoulder and the bow over the other. She opened the flap of the tent to see a couple soldiers and mages siting around a camp fire, large tents set up for treating injuries awaited.  


“Good to see you’re awake,” laughed the one soldier, “never seen someone fall asleep so close to a battle before.”  


“Sleep when you can get a moment,” she smiled back, “now I’m ready to assist at my best,” she looked around and watched as she could see demons rooming the battlements and soldiers clashing with Grey Wardens. It would be several more moments before the injured began to come forward. As the injured came in she helped the mages tend to as many as she could, using bandages and potions where she could. Several moments later it was calm. Save for the roar of the dragon over head. She watched as the dragon flew around and blasted several locations in the fortress. Then another few moments passed and the dragon flew away. Sarah couldn’t help but shutter knowing Trevelyan was now in the Fade. She focused on helping the wounded as much as she could. Finally, the wounded stopped and the mages and soldiers began to tend to the bodies of the deceased. She went ahead and took a moment to rest, knowing they’d be back in Skyhold briefly. As she thought it there was the sound of people cheering and shouting from the core of the fortress before she felt the game shift.  


She was sitting at the bar in Skyhold, a bottle of Rowan red in front of her and a large goblet filled in her hand. Dorian was speaking of her notes and a possible trial he was wanting to try, she nodded not having any idea what was going on. She sipped her wine, “sounds wonderful to me. When can we try it?”  


“I’ll try the powder combinations to be sure they’re safe. Once I’ve got the combination figured out I’ll need to try it on someone. Perhaps one of the red lyrium victims at Sahrnia! We could easily test it on one of them!” he eagerly bolted up in his chair, “excuse me I’m going to go get this done while the mood strikes me.”  


Sarah snickered as Dorian burst out the door. She drank down her glass and poured another one. She couldn’t help but feel upset. After all, they’d be heading to Halamshiral before too long and then it would be the Arbor Wilds, and then Corypheus himself. She was running out of time and time was running fast. She was torn. More so than before. She drank half the glass down, feeling her head slowly swirl in the warmth of alcohol. She quietly sat drinking away until Iron Bull walked over and sat beside her, “come to drink with the strange elf,” she smiled, well into her happy buzz.  


“I came to sit with the time traveling elf,” he spoke lowly enough that only she heard him.  


“Ah you and Dorian are getting closer,” she snickered, “so adorable,” she burst out laughing, half surprised when Iron Bull started laughing with her, “so what can I do for you?”  


Bull drank down a mug of unknown liquor and patted her on the back, “you must feel like crap, being like this. Come on now, Uncle Bull is here to help you feel better,” he smiled wide, raising his mug up, “you can’t just drink yourself into a stupor.”  


“I suppose you heard of the recruit and Cullen in the training ring?” she took another drink from her cup, “that should have never happened.”  


Bull sat quietly for a moment, seemingly unsure of what to say when he reached over and topped her drink from her bottle, “that was close.”  


“Soon you will all be going to the Winter Palace,” she shuttered, “I have no idea how this is going to continue…” she hung her head.  


“We’ll win right. Kill some crap and win the day,” he raised his mug and down it.  


She couldn’t help but giggle, “yes, we’ll win. That is without a doubt.”  


This brought a wide and happy grin to Bull’s face, “then there is nothing to fear. Drink up and enjoy the day!” he clapped her on the back hard, nearly knocking her off the stool.  


She hadn’t the heart to say more. His struggle would be soon, the Qunari would want their alliance and Trevelyan would choose the Chargers, as she did every play through. She raised her glass to Bull and smiled, taking in along drink. Perhaps he was right about one thing, as long as they won all that was in between would be meaningless.  


She sat and drank with Bull till her head spun and the room seemed to swallow her. Bull helped her out of her chair, “come on, you should go talk to Cullen,” he was snickering, his hot breath on her neck.  


“See Cully? Mhmm I’d like to see Cully. He has a fantastic ass,” if her cheeks weren’t red with alcohol they sure were red now as Bull helped her out the main doors and towards the stone stairway along the side of Skyhold’s walls. They both giggled and laughed as he led her up the stairs then gave her a soft push.  


“Go get him girl!” he snickered walking down the stairs, himself in a half stagger.  


Sarah knew who he was going to get as she watched him somewhat straighten himself and head for the main hall. She snickered mercilessly knowing it was the birth of ‘adoribull’. She felt her legs wiggle and wobble under herself as she walked towards the wooden door of the tower before his. She thought she’d heard steps behind her but there was so many guards and soldiers walking around she discredited it. She pushed the door open and nearly fell forward. It took a couple steps before she managed to right herself, giggling mercilessly as she leaned on the wall by the next wooden door. Debris and wooden beams lay in piles in the corners of the room.  


“Going somewhere, knife ear?” a male voice shattered her giggle fit.  


“I’m on my way to see the Commander,” stood up as straight as she could, beginning to fumble with the door.  


“Commander can’t be interested in talking to no knife ear,” she could pick up the sound of his foot steps, getting closer. She panicked and burst through the door, falling forward less than fifteen feet from Cullen’s door. She scrambled to her feet and began to race forward when she felt someone grab her from behind. She let out a scream and started kicking and flailing.  


“Stop your squirming, ain’t no one coming to help you,” the man grabbed at her shirt as he pulled her back towards the other tower, tearing the sleeve.  


She tried to focus had to do something, she gripped his arms, one in each hand and poured burning, hot magic through her fingers. He let out a yelp as his arms released her, just in time as Cullen’s door burst open. She was certain he caught almost all of the situation. She stood up from the ground where the man had thrown her. Not paying attention to the man behind her, her big mistake. She watched Cullen’s eyes blow wide and she heard metal being released. Something inside her took over, as a barrier shield burst from her as the tip of the sword just sliced away a section of her tunic, tearing a thin line of blood from her ribcage. She shrieked again as Cullen lunged forward, his sword drawn, as he parried the next blow. She sprawled out on the ground, covering her head with her arms as more men came to aid Cullen. He parried the next swipe and disarmed the man. Without a second thought Cullen heaved the man up and held him over the ramparts, his legs dangling over the edge. “How many more of you bastards are there?” he growled.  


The man chuckled, despite his wounds and his current position hanging over the edge, “fuck you!”  


Cullen slowly loosened his grip a wicked snarl forming across his face, “you think I won’t drop you? Because these men stand here? I will gladly toss your rotting carcass over the edge, Maker damned who is watching and you know what? The Inquisitor will probably promote me and those watching.”  


The man’s face blanched and he visibly seemed to have trouble swallowing, “Ser, it was nothing, she came on to me, all drunk like at the tavern. Said to meet her in the broken tower,” he licked his lips and tried to grip as Cullen’s arm.  


“The void I did you lying bastard!” Sarah puffed, finally clamoring to her feet, “you saw me drunk heading to see the Commander, called me a knife ear and said the Commander didn’t want me. You tried to drag me back to that tower, where I am certain you would have raped me then either threatened to kill me or slit my throat!” she clenched her fist, flame dancing about her knuckles, “I should have melted your face, but it would have been an improvement from that which you already have!” she took a brave step forward and spit on him, quickly returning to stand back behind Cullen.  


Cullen growled low in his throat, angry and impatient, “how many more are there in my fucking ranks!?” he looked over at the men beside him, “I want the barracks searched, now! Any man found with papers or any evidence of being anti-elf or anti-mage will be escorted out of Skyhold immediately!” he turned back to the man dangling over the edge, “this, filth. They would hang you for this were she human, and I am more than aware of justice for elves,” he clenched his teeth and looked over at Sarah then back to the man, “here is proper justice,” and calmly he released his grip.  


Sarah watched in horror as the man tumbled down the side of the stone rampart and disappeared into the swirl of fog below, his scream the only thing left of him, still echoing. She watched as Cullen casually returned his sword to his sheath and turning back to his men began working out the purge in the ranks. Men and women in armor moved quickly as they set about his task. A messenger raced up and Cullen took the quill and paper, quickly scrawling a message, “take this to Leliana, immediately,” his voice was stern and harsh.  


The air picked up and Sarah hissed as she felt the sting in her side. She reached down to feel the warm, wet, sticky blood on her hand. She took a few steps forwards, the sudden moment sobering her as she walked past Cullen and into his tower. She quietly climbed his ladder and sat on his bed. She pulled her tunic off, seeing the large slash. She examined her side, “just a scratch,” she tried to giggle, “shirt got it worse.”  


The sound of the front door opening made her shutter, and she clamped her hands over her mouth tight. She waited a few moments hearing heavy feet on the stone, “Sarah? Where are you?” she relaxed recognizing his voice.  


“I’m up here, licking my wounds so to speak,” she realized she was sitting on his bed, blood on her side with no shirt on. She blushed brightly trying to wipe away the blood on her side with the tattered tunic. She ripped it further taking a long piece as she walked over to his basin and poured a bit of water on it. She began dabbing around the wound. It wasn’t deep at least not that she could see, it was an awkward angle for her to look at and she really needed a mirror.  


“Maker! Sarah your side!” Cullen crested the top of the loft.


	9. It Ain't Easy Being an Elf

“I can’t see it proper, how bad is it?” she winced pulling the tattered rag away for a moment.  


“Lay on the bed I have elfroot balm and some bandages in my desk,” he held his hands up as he turned to slide back down the ladder.  


How bad is it? She wondered, seeing no mirror to do a proper check she heard him rushing about his desk, sliding drawers open and cursing under his breath. She patted the cloth against her side, only now aware that the bleed wasn’t stopping. She felt dizzy and as he requested, went towards the bed. She laid the tattered larger section of her tunic under herself, not wanting to bleed on his bed, she laid down as she heard his boots on the rungs of the ladder.  


“You need not worry for the bedding,” he chuckled as he pulled himself up over the edge and stood, a small satchel in his hands, “it looks worse than it is, you have managed to clean it up rather well,” he sat beside her on the bed and began to wipe away the blood she’d missed with the cloth from her hand.  


“It didn’t hurt, though I had enjoyed a few drinks before I came to visit you,” she winced as he got close to the cut, “how deep is it?”  


“You have a shallow slashing wound, fairly long but not very deep. The alcohol might be why it continues to slowly bleed,” he began applying the cool balm to the cut.  


Sarah winced again and brought her finger to her lips and bit down, “I… what happened? I don’t understand,” she felt tears well up in her eyes. After all she’d read all the horror stories of elves in alienages, servants and slaves her Lavellan Inquisitor never saw the dark side of being a normal elf. An elf without title or stature. It made her ache inside for those who called this existence life, and didn’t have someone like Cullen to protect them.  


Cullen heard her whimper as he laid a couple strips of linen cloth across her wound, “you will need to sit up so I may bandage you properly,” he smiled faintly as he reached for her hand pulling her up.  


She looped her hand in his and pulled allowed him to pull her up. Carefully he leaned in and wrapped a long bandage around her ribcage, covering the wound. As he finished and his hands dropped from her wound she immediately threw her arms around him and began to weep.  


“Sarah, I have you, hush,” he stroked his hand through her hair and snuggled her into him tightly.  


“This never should happen to anyone,” she snuffled.  


Cullen took in a deep breath and sighed, “no it should not happen at all. I am having my men scour the barracks for anymore of these,” he gritted his jaw tightly, “individuals.”  


“Can I just stay here for a little bit?” she sniffled trying to catch her breath. The sudden thought of walking anywhere in Skyhold terrified her.  


“Stay as long as you need. I will be at my desk most of the remainder of the day. I shall have someone bring up dinner, while I am here,” he tenderly kissed her forehead, “I am so sorry.”  


“Go, you have work to do I’m sure. I’ll be alright,” she put on a brave face and wiped her eyes.  


“Take one of my shirts. I’ll have someone fetch proper clothing for you,” he stood up and gave her hands a squeeze, “you will be safe, I swear it.”  


Sarah watched him walk away and climb down the ladder, as she got up and dug for a clean shirt in his chest. She carefully pulled a fresh one over her head and curled back up on his bed. She heard the door to the tower open and Cullen rise from his chair.  


“Commander, care to explain what is going on in the barrack? The other day we jailed one of the recruits for attempting to kill you in the training ring and today you toss a man over the ramparts. What in the void is going on?” Cassandra’s voice rang out loudly in the room.  


“Cassandra, are you aware of the report I sent?” his voice was calm and there was no other sound from below.  


“I have not yet received any report. I came to get the words from your mouth, personally.”  


“As I informed the Inquisitor, and Sister Leliana, the man attempted to grab, rape and murder Lady Lavellan. She cast up a barrier just in time as he swung his sword. She received a large gash across her side, and when I interceded he did attempt to strike me down. Several soldiers can back this account and their names have been given. I interrogated him, he attempted to lay blame on Lady Lavellan, at which point he was informed of his position. I had my men search the barracks to remove any further filth and removed the aforementioned man from our ranks,” his voice grew harsher as he spoke.  


“You dropped him off the top of the ramparts into the valley below, Commander. While I do not in one ounce begrudge you of such actions I am concerned of how it appeared to those men watching. There are whispers in the barracks that you are in a relationship with Lady Lavellan, some of these whispers seem to claim she has bewitched you,” there was the sound of Cullen drawing in a breath but Cassandra cut him off, “I know mages Commander and she is not a blood mage and you are clearly under no spell. I will refrain from telling you how to run the Inquisitions armies, as it is not my place. I am only concerned about one thing: how are you feeling Cullen? This must have been upsetting.”  


“Feeling? Cassandra that bastard was going to…” there was a sound of something slamming into a hard surface, “how is this right? We try to make things better and yet we are struggling to overcome the stigmas of the past. Humans and elves, mages and Templars. Can no common ground be found? Maker’s breath Cassandra, had there been no one around I…”  


“Speak no further Cullen, I understand. I would do no less in your position. Please, take the evening off your work, relax and rest. If you are concerned about the Lady Lavellan, perhaps we should take her with us to the Winter Palace. She may be of some help and we can ensure her safety.”  


“I agree, if only the Inquisitor clears her to travel along with us. I want her quarters moved as well, somewhere safer and well lit, with a patrol and…”  


“Commander, if you two are seeing each other, perhaps she could move in with you. It would be the safest place in Skyhold for her with your stringent requirements. It would also put far less stress on the patrols. I shall speak to the Inquisitor, I’m sure she’ll wish to come speak with you soon enough. Know I back what you did, and how it was handled. Rest well, Cullen,” there was the sound of the door opening and closing. Followed by a loud exhale and the sound of Cullen’s plopping down into his chair.  


Sarah sat on the edge of the bed intent to go down and see him when she heard the sound of metal moving and the door open again.  


“Inquisitor!” Cullen sputtered something metal dropping on the floor.  


“Please Commander call me Diana,” she giggled softly, “Cassandra was on her way to see me as I was on my way to see you,” the front door closed softly, the latch barely making a sound, “I agree with the Seeker and will be decreeing that Lady Lavellan travel with us to the Winter Palace when we go. How such a disgusting thing could take place in our home,” there was the sound of a heavy snort, “I’d have gutted that bastard myself.”  


“Inquisitor, I am pleased you are not upset about my actions. I…”  


“I won’t hear it Cullen. You defended that which you treasure. Had someone done that to Blackwall, I’d have given no mercy myself. Relax this evening, friend. We’ll be leaving to the Winter Palace soon enough, you’ll have plenty to scoff about then. Good evening,” the front door opened and closed in the same feather light sound.  


Sarah heard some more metal clinking and the soft sound of two door latches clicking. A knock coming on the main door, “Ser, your dinner as you requested.”  


The door opened, “place it on my desk then inform the messengers my tower will be locked for the remainder of the evening. All messages can be slid under the door,” the sound of the metal tray hitting the desk and his boots on the floor, then the sound of the door closing and the latch locking. Sarah scrambled back up on the bed and relaxed slightly. Her head began to spin as she tried to figure out all that was going on. Some how she must have effected the timeline and altered things. How was she going to play a role in Halamshiral? How did any of this make sense? She had to admit it was within canon and was accurate to the portrayal of elves and humans but still in Skyhold? This must be how the game is changing the back ground so she can end up at the Winter Palace. But why?  


“Sarah, are you awake?” Cullen’s voice rose into the loft.  


“Yes,” she sheepishly answered back.  


There came a soft chuckle from below and the sound of him picking up the tray. Then his hand and boots on the rungs of the ladder, the tray sliding across the floor of the loft. Sarah walked over and tried to help pick up it, pain blooming in her side, “fenedhis!’ she grunted standing back up sharply, placing her hand over the spot, the extra material of the tunic falling over her hand. She thought she must look like a child wearing their parent’s long sleeve shirt, the arms running long past the hands. That thought brought a giggle to her lips.  


Cullen hauled himself up quickly, “are you alright? I heard you curse,” he quickly moved past the tray to placing his hand over the wound, “is it causing you pain? I can fetch you a potion.”  


“No, no I’m fine. It’s tender and I foolishly went to grab the tray. It was my fault,” she let out a soft chuckle, “I’m not used to being injured.” She could see his face fall, it broke her heart to see him upset, “oh no, no don’t be upset, please,” she reached out and grabbed his hands and held them tightly, “please, it pains me to see you upset,” a soft half smile spread across his scarred lip “that’s better.”  


“Did you hear all that was said?” his voice was soft and calm as he went back and picked up the tray bringing it to the foot of the bed.  


“Yes, I did,” she nervously giggled, “I’m to move in here? Is that alright… are you… do you…” she fumbled with the sleeves of the long tunic, not looking up as she climbed onto the bed, sitting beside the tray.  


“Are you asking if I… uh… if I..” he rubbed the base of his neck, nearly dropping the bottle he’d grabbed off the tray, “I would like it very much… uh, if you do that is,” his face was bright red and he was nervously looking around.  


Sarah let out a soft chuckle, “Maker’s breath aren’t we silly. Yes, I would very much love...” she clapped her hands over her mouth growing bright red, “would like to stay here with you,” she squeaked out. There was a sudden silence between them, both blushing and seeking to calm themselves. Sarah fumbled for something on the tray at the same time as he did and both touched hands. Sarah nearly jumped backwards and fell off the bed, but was surprised to feel Cullen’s arms wrap her up and catch her.  


“I have you,” his voice was a ghost upon her neck, hot and seeping under her shirt, causing her skin to prickle and bump. She swallowed hard, he wasn’t wearing his armor. That must have been the metallic sounds she had heard before he ascended to the loft, and without his cumbersome bindings she could feel the beat of his heart against her breasts.  


“You have no idea Cullen,” she shyly exclaimed, her lips mere inches away from his, and her eyes locked upon them. There was an awkward moment of silence, Cullen hovering over her, hanging on to her just off the edge of the bed, his knee resting against her back. She threw caution to the window and reached up, laying a firm, needing kiss upon his lips. She wasn’t shocked when he returned the need, lips moving against each other. She reached up with one arm and guided her hand through his hair, her other arm wrapping around his waist and pulling herself tightly to him.  


Cullen stood up and wrapped her legs around his waist before he turned back to the bed, gently laying her down and resting over top her. Sarah felt the heat rising inside of her, the burning urge he was building just by touching her skin. She hadn’t been with someone in months, her last relationship ending in bitter heartache she hadn’t been eager to find someone new. Now it was a building, bubbling need that she couldn’t fight, that was swelling and engulfing her in a slow burning bliss, “Cullen,” she airily breathed out as his lips trailed across her jaw, grazing her neck.  


“Are you alright? I can stop if you want me to,” he froze in place, bringing his face back up to hers, his molten gold eyes searching hers.  


“Maker no I don’t want you to stop,” she sighed, “its just, my side,” she giggled trying to ignore the pain. How she wished her side didn’t ache, how she wished she could block it out.  


Cullen leaned back on his heels and lifted her shirt slowly, “let me have a look at it, please.”  


She nodded and pulled the shirt up exposing the bandage, “it’s stinging something terrible,” she winced as he loosened the bandages.  


“I am sorry, I must have bound it a bit too tightly,” he fumbled to unwrap her and redo it.  


Sarah chuckled as he finished, “possibly for the best, what we were about to do might not have been helpful to healing my side,” she reached down and gripped the edge of the tray and dragged it up to them, “you should eat as well. It sounds like we’ll be making way to the Winter Palace soon enough,” she lifted a knife off the tray and carved a chunk off the small cheese wheel and cautiously handed it to Cullen. She watched him smiled and graciously take the piece, “perhaps something to eat and a little chess game? We are tied in wins and losses.”  


They spent the night eating and laughing, chatting and playing chess. Sarah felt herself relax and the shock of earlier events were starting to wane. She still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of leaving his tower but nature calling she did have to venture out. Each time Cullen calmly escorted her, his hand firmly upon the hilt of his sword. She wished to bath and change in the morning and he diligently took her to the bath house and waited outside for her, escorting her carefully back to his tower. When he had to go out to train his men, Dorian came in to stay with her. Bringing multiple books and writing papers. Dorian explained his research and efforts with the powders. His minor trails showed promise but not to the aspect he was happy with. His perfectionism was matched by his enthusiasm and eagerness.  


“My dear, I heard about the incident yesterday afternoon. Are you well?” Dorian didn’t even look up from his book as he calmly thumbed through the pages of his book.  


“I have trepidations of leaving this tower, and my side now itches mercilessly. I am glad I was able to bathe this morning, though the look I received while walking with the Commander have been less than friendly I fear,” she was scribbling a note from a text before her on Cullen’s desk.  


Dorian snapped the book shut, startling her, “my dear these people in the South are truly barbarians! You have done nothing to receive such ire.”  


“Dorian, I am an elf and a mage. Apparently, that is enough. They seem to think I have cast some form of enthrallment over the Commander. Yet he hasn’t changed at all since I met him in Haven. Am I wrong?” she reached over and grabbed her goblet of wine. Dorian had treated her to an assortment of Orlesian chocolates and her favorite wine.  


“Speaking as one pariah to the next, you’ve not earned your whispered title. My girl, the Commander has been kinder, softer and even laughing now. Laughing, at jokes. Openly. He even tried his hand at a joke in the tavern the other night. A most childish genital joke but it went off well with his men and some of the other riffraff in that establishment. Varric has mused that the man has been reborn a happy, teenage boy, since you have courted him. More so since it has been public,” Dorian refilled his glass, “those angst-ridden louses who seek some misguided justice against you have clearly missed the wondrous effect you’ve had on the man’s personal morale. Pity they can’t seem to see the cows in the pasture.”  


Sarah let a smiled spread across her face as she let out a sigh, “Dorian, may I be honest with you?”  


Dorian chuckled, “I believe you have been the whole time. The term you are looking for is, may I share my smutty private thoughts with you: oh yes, please. Leave out nothing, I want all the salacious bits.”  


Sarah let out a giggle, “Maker Dorian you are too much. No, I have nothing smutty to share, sadly,” she sipped on her wine, “I want to tell him, you know the whole, time travel thing… I don’t want to hurt him… I… damnit I tripped and fell in love with the blonde lug. I’d even forsake my future for him,” she swirled her wine glass, “does that make a me a fool Dorian? I wanted to have him so badly last night, and I would have and he would have. I only managed to regain some thought process when this scratch on by side reminded me of reality.”  


Dorian fiddled with his moustache, “oh he’s a very fine creature that’s easy enough for anyone to see, and he is quite taken with you. Telling him would be right, and it may be quite a bit to get his head around. Time space manipulation was something Alexius and I toyed with, not something openly acknowledged. Mention I have been aware and Bull for the a while and site your record of constant help.”  


“Dorian, I didn’t know the training incident would happen, I didn’t know the incident yesterday would happen… this all never happened. Things are changing and I’m struggling to stay above water on this. I don’t know what to do. How will he react? He has a history with mages and magic and being a bastard. I know he’s changed but you didn’t see his eyes when he dropped that man over the edge of the ramparts,” she nibbled on her lip and nervously scribbled on the paper before her, “I could tell everyone’s history here, their secrets, their ‘side quests’ they’ll ask the Inquisitor to take them on. I could tell you how the romance will end with Blackwall and Trevelyan. But this, this here! It never happened, I’m treading in uncertain waters, terrified for my life.”  


Dorian sat for a long moment in silence deep in his thoughts. He took a long drink from his goblet before he finally spoke, “my dear, you need to do what you feel is right, this coming from me is almost amusing. Either way, you might want to do it before everyone heads to the Winter Palace. If what you claim is true you are running out of time, and that is to your knowledge. My dear, I wish you the best of luck with this, were it in my care…”  


“You’d run to the South, lose your family medallion and join a righteous cause,” Sarah let out a sigh as Dorian laughed, “I know. I appreciate it though, I truly do. I’ll mull it over some more before I come to some thought on it. I’d prefer to come up with some idea on the lyrium angle. A potion or spell to remove it. Potion is preferable but I’ll take whatever we can come up with.”  


“Then hush, eat some of this divine chocolate, drink the good wine and focus. We have a couple more hours before your man comes home and kicks me out,” Dorian smiled as he reopened his book and began reading, making small notes on a parchment before him.  


A couple hours passed quickly and there was a small stack of notes between them. Then came a knock on the door and Sarah can’t help but jump and force her hands out, eyes closed, a bright barrier burst and crackled around her. The door opened and Cullen walked in, “my dear it’s the Commander, at ease,” Dorian casually flicked his hand as he began packing away their materials, “I’ll take your notes and speak with Dagna in the undercroft. Perhaps she can see what we’re both missing. The girl crafts the impossible daily. I’ll come by tomorrow and see you and we may continue if you wish,” he finished gathering up the papers as Sarah let her barrier down.  


“I did not intend to startle you,” Cullen sighed, wiping his neck and face down with a rag, “stay with her a bit longer Dorian, I wish to bathe. I shall be quick,” he reached over on his bookcase and pulled a bundle of clothes out.  


Dorian sat back down, “it seems we have a bit more time. Did you want to relax a bit from reading?”  


Sarah calmed down and relaxed, “Maker, I’m a wreck, aren’t I?”  


“My darling girl,” Dorian puffed, “it’s understandable. You’ve never done anything like this in your life and you’ve been nearly killed twice, and saved more people than could be counted if one was in the mood to count. All of this must be something wonderful and horrifying.”  


All she could do was nod as she trembled softly reaching up to take a long drink from her glass, “I’ll tell him tonight, some how, some way, I’ll get it out. Thank you, Dorian, I appreciate this.”  


He smiled and stood up, packing the papers and books away in a large satchel, “don’t thank me yet. You haven’t spoken to him. I’ll be here if you have need of me,” he stood and began tidying up the tray’s contents, returning the Commander’s desk to its normal sense of shambles.  


As he finished the door creaked open and Cullen announced himself, “it’s me,” he poked his head in and then the rest of him.  


Sarah giggled seeing his wet hair, the small coils of golden flecked tresses released from their usual slicked back efforts. His face cleanly shaven and the soft scent of soap trailing in the room made her nearly melt into the chair.  


Dorian let out a soft chuckle, “go get him my dear,” he smiled and nodded to Cullen before sauntering out the door, Cullen carefully closing it behind him.  


She brought her hand to her mouth and giggled as she uncrossed her legs and began to stand up, “how was training?” she stretched her legs out, having spent a couple hours sitting in his seat.  


“They will be sore in the morning,” he chuckled, “hopefully wiser from it. I have been informed by our Ambassador we are leaving for Halamshiral in the morning. She has managed to obtain our invitations,” he sighed tossing his clothes in the corner.  


“Where is your armor?” she noticed, he had on clean pants and a linen shirt, his sword belt strapped around his waist.  


“It needs some minor repairs after Adamant and I had been neglecting it. We leave for Halamshiral tomorrow and I will not be permitted to wear it. It is the best time to put it in for repairs,” he ran his hands into his hair and gave them a shake, droplets of water flying everywhere.  


She giggled loudly, “Maker you are adorable. I love your hair like that,” she smiled, the wine lowering her inner voice pleading her to keep quiet. Her cheeks flushed as she realized what she’d said and she watched as Cullen flushed bright red and stood awkwardly, “are you hungry? Have you eaten today?” she quickly shifted the conversation, fighting the urge to take this further.  


“I have sent someone to collect our dinner, they should be here shortly,” he shook his head, the coils of his hair loosening slightly, he picked up a couple papers that had been pushed under the door to the left of his desk. He began thumbing through them, quickly reading them through.  


Sarah stood and move to where Dorian had been sitting, the chair brought in just for his meetings with her, “sit at your desk, you probably haven’t sat all day either,” she huffed curling up in her chair. She watched him pull out his quill and blank papers and begin focusing on his work. She was lost in her thoughts, trying to figure out how to tell him. At this point she felt it would be easier to admit she loved him. Love, how, how did she let this get so out of hand, she closed her eyes. There was a soft knock on the door and she opened her eyes to see Cullen raise and head to the door, his hand resting on his hilt.  


“Thank you, I will be retiring for the evening. Slip any messages under the door. I will attend to them as soon as possible,” he spoke to someone as he collected the tray, closed the door and latched it.  


She watched him place the tray on the table and motion her to eat as he returned to his papers. Set to completing them before indulging himself. She picked at the meal, not really hungry as Dorian had plied her with sweets all afternoon. She was enjoying watching him, the little furrow of his brow as he focused on writing out his letters. How he carefully seemed to select each word as he set them down on parchment. Signing his name and placing them down on his desk, careful not to have them touch until the ink was dried, “Cullen, eat,” she softly murmured as he laid another letter out to dry.  


“I have a couple letters left and to make a few changes in the guard roster. Then I will join you,” he smiled, “not much longer I promise.”  


She watched him redouble his efforts as he focused on completing his work. She tried to think about how she’d say this, how she’d get it out. She began thinking about the end game, how this would all play out. In the end, she would be back in the real world and this man would be stuck in a loop of horror and redemption. Maybe it wasn’t fair to tell him, but he did deserve to know. She tossed it back and forth a few more time until Cullen finished his papers and put his quill and blank parchment away. She watched him pull his plate of food off the tray and begin digging in, the same furrowed brow of focused energy set to his task of self nourishment. She hadn’t the heart to interrupt him and she dug in to her meal for a while, feeling tired, and seeing him pause to yawn, “tired?” she smiled up, placing her fork down and taking a long drink from her glass.  


“Very,” he smiled finishing his meal and placing everything neatly on the tray, “early bed? I’m sure we could both use the rest.” He grinned standing from his chair and neatly collecting the papers into a small stack on the edge of his desk beside the tray.  


“Please,” she smiled and turned, heading up the ladder to the upper loft. She reached the top and pulled herself up over the edge and began quietly stripping her clothes off and carefully placing them beside the bed. She picked up the over size tunic of his and pulled it over her head.  


“Did you want me to look at your side?” he smiled pulling himself up over the edge.  


Sarah nodded and climbed up on the bed, she pulled the shirt up and began unwinding the bandage. With the bandage off she laid down and waited for him to come over. With the sound of his clothes hitting the floor she stared up out the large hole, the stars brightly shining.  


“Hold still,” he carefully peeled back the strips of clothe and tossed them into the corner, “it’s closed up and looks like it is healing well. Best to let it breath tonight. See what it looks like in the morning. I’m afraid you will have a scar. A faint, thin line, but a scar,” he tried to smile as he laid beside her.  


“It’ll be fine, I’m sure. I won’t be having a large of group of people seeing it. You’re the only one who has,” she chuckled, running her fingers over the long mark, thin and ridge as he had said. It ran from a few finger spaces above her hip bone to just slightly under her bra band, “come lay down, you’re tired,” she tugged him up beside her, curling into him.  


“It has been a rather long day,” he kissed her cheek as he shuffled around slightly, getting comfortable.  


“Cullen, can I talk to you about something? It’s kind of important,” she uttered as he placed his arm over her.  


“Of course, you can speak to me about anything you wish to,” he stifled a soft yawn as he began to relax behind her.  


She drew in a deep breath and began, “I have to tell you something that is going to sound completely mad and I can attest that both Dorian and Bull know and they trust me and I’m here to help and I care about everyone here. I…” she clenched her fists under the pillow, “I am not from here. Not that I’m not Fereldan, or whatever! I mean as in I’m not from Thedas. I come from somewhere else. A different plane, I suppose you’d call it or a multiple reality. Right, so I was pulled out of my plane and taken here. I’m not an elf in the other plane. I’m a human, five foot six inches tall, with brown boring hair, chocolate brown eyes and glasses. I work at… well I won’t be working there much longer anyways... I’m in school soon, to be a psychologist. I have a mom and a dad, no siblings and there are events that need to happen here for me to go home. I want to help and I want to…” she took a moment to think, “I love you and I want to be with you, and I almost don’t care about going home,” she sighed and waited to hear him say something, anything, “Cullen?” she listened in the darkness of the loft, only the stars bringing in a faint light. She listened carefully, thinking perhaps he was mulling over the large truth bomb she’d crushed down on top of him. Instead she was greeted with the soft sound of him snoring, dead asleep, “perhaps I’ll try again later,” she snuggled into him, earning her a mumbled hum of joy as he regripped her gently.


	10. The Dance

Sarah woke to Cullen gently nudging her, “wake up my darling we’ve arrived at the Inn outside of the Winter Palace,” she blinked hard, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked up to see she was sitting in a carriage of some sort, alone with Cullen.  


“Was I sleeping?” she tried to wrap her head around this jump forward in time.  


Cullen grinned and chuckled, “we were all chatting calmly when you leaned over and rested your head on my shoulder. That was when Blackwall pointed out you had fallen asleep. I figured you must have been tired and let you rest. Though we must get out of the carriage now and head into the inn. Everyone is beginning to prepare for the ball,” he slightly shuttered and his voice seemed to drop.  


“Alright, lead me,” she held out her hand and let him help her down off the carriage and walked her up a cobblestone pathway to a large thatched roof house. He held the door for her and guided her inside. He nodded to Leliana and she pointed towards a soldier down the hall. Cullen held her hand tightly as they walked down the hall with the soldier to a room in the back corner. The soldier stopped on his heels and saluted Cullen as he pushed the door open, handing him the key, “thank you, dismissed,” he spoke in his Commander tone, leading her through the door way and closing the door behind her.  


“Let me light the candles,” Sarah waved her hands out focusing on the tips of the wicks of each candle. Within a few moments all the candles were lit, “this room is incredible,” she exclaimed still looking around her. A large four poster bed with full fabric draping cascaded down over the bed, giving it a regal feel. At the foot of the bed sat a large chest, with a padded cushion top. A small window on the wall, and a fair-sized fireplace on the wall across from it. She turned to see behind the closed door a small open room with a large stone, built in tub. Completely arranged with soaps and flowers.  


“You’ve never seen such things I suppose having spent your life travelling with your clan,” he reached into the chest and pulled out a satchel and placed it on top of the bed.  


Sarah sighed, “yes my clan,” she so wanted to tell him so badly. Her attempt last night made her wish to say it even more now. But he was already beginning to get ready, carefully stripping off his tunic and pulling out a bright clean thin linen, sleeveless shirt. She wanted to just relax, to take the stress of things off her mind, “what is to become of me, during this ball?” she fiddled with a small pouch she’d found in the washing room.  


“You shall attend the ball and stand beside me. Leliana has a plan to dress you as a standard Orlesian woman. With a mask and some clothes no one will be the wiser, and all you need do is stand beside me and you shall easily blend with the crowds,” he pulled the shirt over his head and pulled out a pair of chocolate brown breeches.  


“That sounds interesting,” she nodded. She was to be that woman she’d seen time and time again standing to the right of Cullen in the ball room. Interesting take by this game’s intelligence, “do you require any assistance?” she opened the pouch and took a sniff, lavender scented bathing salts.  


He chuckled as he untied his pants and slid them down, grabbing the new pair and stepping into them, “thank you but I believe I can handle this one, though the jacket might become an issue,” he began tying the strings of his breeches about his waist, and nodded at the shock of red fabric sticking out of the bag.  


Sarah reached into the bag and pulled out the jacket. That red military jacket she’d seen countless times in her plays and now she was touching it. It was a fine quality material, made to last and yet be formal appropriate. The sapphire blue sash hung, unattached tucked under a strap on the shoulder, “its quite the fine piece,” she gasped touching the collar.  


“That? I’ve had it for far too long,” he chuckled, clearly indifferent to its look or purpose, “I was never one for formal events,” he tucked his shirt in and pulled a pair of boots out of the chest.  
She couldn’t take her eyes off, of the jacket, all the times she played and excepted his outstretched hand to dance. She couldn’t help but let out a sigh.  


“Is everything alright?” he tugged his last boot on, the rolled leather sitting just under his knee.  


She hadn’t realized how loud her sigh was and scrambled to cover, “I… uh… we don’t have such finery or events as this,” she held the jacket tightly closing her eyes, “call it a childish dream to dance in a ball, in an elegant ballgown, adorned in crystals under the starry night,” she sighed again turning to hand him his jacket, opening her eyes, “with a prince in regal attire, forgetting life for a night. It’s probably a very foolish dream, forgive my childishness,” she blushed brightly as she let the fabric slip from her fingers into his hands.  


He tenderly touched the buttons, slowly opening the jacket wide, “that’s very romantic, not childish at all,” his slipped his arm into his sleeve and began shifting and fussing with the jacket, “I should have had this jacket let out a bit.”  


Sarah nearly choked on her own saliva, “Maker what? That jacket is stunning on you, do not a thing to it!”  


Both burst into laughter as a sharp rap came at the door, “Commander, I have Lady Lavellan’s attire for the ball, may I enter?” a female’s voice rang out.  


“Yes, enter,” he casually retorted as he began straighten the sash about his shoulder.  


The door opened just enough for the woman to slip through as she held out a large sack and a compressed hoop ring. She noticed Sarah and smiled, “my lady for you,” she held out the sack and placed the hoop ring on the floor before her, “do you require assistance dressing, my lady? The Ambassador informed me I am to assist you in anyway I can,” she slid a bag off her shoulder and placed it beside Sarah, “powers to help cover your facial tattoo my lady.”  


Sarah groaned, “thank you, I believe I can manage. If I require assistance I shall inform someone. Please go,” she waved her hand, staring at the massive sack before her and the hoop skirt rings. The woman bowed and quickly hurried away. Sarah sighed and began pulling pieces out of the bag. A large cream colored skirt, a green shirt type over dress and several other pieces. She let out a huff, she wished she could be beautiful but instead she was this, “perhaps I should just stay here,” she sighed sitting down on the bed.  
“What is wrong?” Cullen finished fussing with all the pieces of his jacket.  


“Nothing, it’s foolish and,” she shook her head, “it is unbecoming of me.”  


Cullen calmly walked over and peered at all the pieces she’d pulled out, “not a fan of Orlesian finery?”  


“It’s not pretty at all. I’ll look like a dotty old hag,” she let her inner child squeal in delight at her show of immaturity.  


He chuckled brightly, “I cannot say it is flattering. Perhaps there is something else?” he tried to sound bright and cheery despite her pouting.  


She dug through the bag and looked down at what she was wearing, “may I take some liberties?” she grinned up.  


“I have no say on your choice of clothing,” he quickly backed up and reached down to pull on his leather gloves.  


Sarah was wearing her brown leather under bust vest from Skyhold. She quickly stripped down to her smalls and went about dressing. Pulling up the cream-colored shirt and seeing it flow she opted to avoid the hoop skirt. It moved much nicer without it and she felt it looked better. She dug through the bag and found the lace, over tunic top and pulled it on. It covered her bare arms and hung loosely about her chest, she pulled a scarlet scarf out of the bag and wrapped it over top of her bra band and tied it in the front just under her bust. Then she slipped the vest on and tied it off. She took the lace gloves out of the bag and pulled them on. It was pretty to her, and it made her smile. She looked at the oversize floppy hat, with its feather and groaned. She pulled her hair up on her head and tied it into a loose bun. She pulled carefully at sections to make the curls hide her ears. Then she removed the feather from the hat, with it’s pearl brooch and she fitted it into the crown of her hair, just to the side of the bun. Next, she opened the bag seeing all kinds of powders she set to work. Pulling the mirror out of the bag she began mixing several colors till it matched her skin color and she covered her vallaslin. She took the red tint and applied it to her lips, a little of the green powder to her eyelids and swiped the kohl under her lashes. She felt beautiful and triumphant. She placed everything back in the bag and stopped for one moment. The bath salts! With a little oil and some water, it would make a perfect, makeshift perfume! She quickly reached over to where she had left the bag and took out a small palm amount of grains. She opened the bag of make up and pulled out a small vial of oil. Taking a couple drops she added it to the salts. She mixed it in her palm and the oil dissolved the salts slightly. She needed water. Ice! She wiggled her fingers and made a small ball of ice on top of the oil then focused and melted it, stirring the mixture till it all melted. A small quarter size of liquid glistening in her palm, she rubbed her palms together and carefully rubbed her neck, down her between her breasts and into her wrists, “ready!’ she turned to face Cullen, “what do you think?”  


His eyes widened as he took her in, “Maker you are beautiful,” he gasped.  


Sarah blushed brightly, “maybe I can be a princess for one night,” she fussed with her hair a bit, “do I look human? Could I pass as a human?” she was shocked at the desperation in her voice, the longing to fit in.  


“I dare say you do, though I care for you as you are,” he took a few steps forward and took her gloved hands in his, “are you sure of this? I do not wish harm to come to you and tonight may be dangerous.”  


“I can cast a barrier if things get scary, I’ve gotten quite adept at that. I can heal, if someone comes to harm I can help and quickly. I am scared, but I will be brave,” she drew in a deep breath and smiled as best as she could.  


He nodded, she knew all to well he had no idea how tonight was going to go. She knew, but now with her altering the game, how would this go? What penalty would she have to pay? She shuttered as Cullen held her hands, “come, we need to get going.”  


Sarah gave his hand a squeeze, “wait, I need one more thing,” she reached down to her medical pouch and grabbed another bra band from bag, “would you kindly hold my skirt?” she chuckled as his face flushed brightly. She lifted her skirt up and placed her foot on the edge of the bed, handing him the bundle of fabric. She took the bra band and wrapped it around her thigh in an overlapping pattern. Once tied off and secured she reached over and pulled a few potions out of her pouch and wedged them into the folds of the band, “just in case,” she put her leg down and wiggled her thigh, content it would hold. She grabbed the dagger and wrapped it in a single strip of linen and carefully slid it down the front of her bra band, careful to wedge it so it wouldn’t dig into her.  


“Just in case, as well I presume,” Cullen chuckled as she nodded and he let her skirt go, “come along I think you are prepared for a minor skirmish. Let’s get to the carriage, Josephine will have my neck if we are later than Orlais prefers,” he rolled his eyes and she helped guide her out the door. They walked down the hall and several people stopped to stare at Sarah.  


“You can’t call me Lady Lavellan, that’s an elven name. Just refer to me as Lady Sarah, that will help me pass better,” she smiled, “it sounds Fereldan almost, doesn’t it?”  
Cullen grinned up, “it does when put that way. I shall let Leliana and Josephine know you are now Lady Sarah. Human for a night,” his face fell slightly, “it is terrible the way people treat elves, worse in Orlais.”  


“I am no slave as the elves in Tevinter are,” she quipped back, “I am thankful for that, though in Fereldan you have alienages as well, do you not? No where is perfect, it needs to be changed,” she sighed, “come let us not think of these things, Ser Cullen.”  


He chuckled, “ah if only these Orlesian title grabbers knew what I was.”  


Sarah squeezes his arm, “I have to tell you something, it’s important and it’ll only take an awkward moment,” she continued to walk down the hall with him, “I tried to tell you last night but you fell asleep and I…”  


“Came from a different plane. I heard most of it before I fell asleep. I am sorry I have said nothing to you as of yet. It is a bit to take it and difficult to believe.”  


“I can prove it, Dorian and Bull both believe and understand. I cannot tell you the future, how tonight ends or who the assassin is. It would cause a conflict with… I could die,” she looked around people busing themselves down the hall as they walked, “I apologize for what I’m going to say as I know it brings up painful feelings, but this is something only someone who’s seen everything could know. I know about your time in Kinloch Hold. You were tempted by a desire demons, it tried to make you believe it was Amell. You fought valiantly and it nearly drove you mad. They foolishly kept you for a small while then transferred you to Kirkwall, where you bunked with Raleigh Samson,” she felt his grip tighten on her hand, “I’m sorry to say such horrible things, I really am but it’s the only way you’ll believe me. Please I truly wish to help and I honestly have made mistakes. The attack on you with the knife, that never happened in the version I witnessed, the attack on me, never happened either. Every time I deviate slightly from the timeline, I pay for it. The scar on my side is proof, no one would willingly put themselves in risk of death otherwise. Please, do you believe me?”  


There was a silence as he kept them moving down the halls and out towards the carriage. He helped guide her into the carriage and remained silent the rest of the trip. Sarah wanted to cry, nearly thought about turning the dagger between her breasts upon herself. What good was all this if she lost him? She had to shake the feeling, after all she would be leaving him behind. Foolish, love struck girl, she chastised herself in her mind, how could you expect to get love in this world? You can’t even find it proper in yours! She sat, her head down as she traced the pattern on her lace gloves, barely aware of Josephine’s speech to Trevelyan.  


“We’re here,” Josephine smiled, “Lady Sarah, you look wonderful tonight. A very interesting take on Orlesian formal wear,” she smiled as she exited the carriage. Sarah said nothing as she silently followed everyone, Cullen helping he down. She caught his eyes for just a moment, he seemed confused and lost, and pained. She had after all laid his tortured life before him in a single breath. He would need time to digest all this and in the middle of finding an assassination attempt.  


“This way, Lady Sarah,” Leliana waved her hand to follow her and Sarah took one last look at Cullen and calmly walked over to her.  


“Yes, my lady,” she nodded as Leliana took her up the large stone steps and through the doors, bustling her in so quickly the scenery seemed to blur for her. She was ushered in to the area where she usually found Iron Bull in her play throughs and sure enough he was standing in his spot.  


“Bull, please see that Lady Sarah has a safe and pleasant evening. When you cannot attend to her guide her over to Cullen,” Leliana smiled and excused herself.  


Bull let out a warm chuckle, “guess I’m babysitting tonight,” he smiled down at Sarah, “you look incredible, I hope someone has said that to you. Much better than some of these frocks,” he pointed over at a woman wearing feathers nearly from head to toe.  


“Dreadful fashion crimes, Dorian may die if he were to witness such horrors,” she grinned in her best Fereldan accent.  


This made Bull chuckle again, “well played Lady Sarah, human for a night. How does it feel to be back to yourself a bit?”  


“Somewhat, not quite. My normal self is a bit taller, quite heavier, with auburn flat hair with chocolate brown eyes. Nowhere near this fine of a body, unless you count a large bosom as a bonus,” she chuckled “though it is nice not to be called names and have people spit when you walk by. Instead they look and they want, or they wish they could be this. It is a silent joy to know I am not what they see.”  


Bull passed her a flute of sparkling wine, “enjoy, you know how this ends. Since you’re calm, it’s a good thing and a chance for you to live it up a bit.”  


She gleefully took the wine, “only thing is Bull. I told him, and he hasn’t spoken a word to me yet. I understand I did drop a large bit of personal history on him. It will take him some time to process, it just…” she took a sip to steady her nerves, the taste of sweet apples and bright berries popping on her tongue, “I don’t know what to expect.”  


“You laid the man’s past before him in rapid fire, I’d guess on top of finding an assassin, he’ll need the night. Don’t worry, the man has eyes only for you. Also, if he has any sense he’ll realize you knew all about his past and didn’t run away screaming at the first sight of him. That’s got to count for something,” he took a handful of nuts and began to chew a few down, “these are so good! First they’re sweet then bam hot!”  


Sarah chuckled, “good to know,” she continued to drink her wine, “who’s all here?”  


“The Inquisitor insisted on Blackwall, Cole and myself. Cole will be somewhere, and Blackwall, shit you probably know,” he chuckled, eating a few more nuts.  


“What do you think of Ser Blackwall?” she looked up at him, trying to gauge his facial expressions.  


“He’s hiding something but overall he’s a good man. Let me guess, he isn’t who he claims to be,” he chuckled.  


“What does your Ben-hassrath training say?” she grinned over her glass, “also anything decent on that table besides sweet and spicy nuts?”  


He reached over and passed her a small plate with some little cakes on them, “have some, enjoy. My training says he is hiding a shady past, something he’s either ashamed of or messed up. Either way, he’s running from it. His actions speak of a good man at heart, but by your expressions we’re going to figure out his past soon,” he popped another handful of nuts in his mouth, “so good!”  


Sarah went to agree when she heard the announcer go through the list of people, starting with Trevelyan, then Cullen, then Leliana, Josephine, Bull, and Blackwall, “of course they don’t announce Cole, hopefully he doesn’t frighten anyone too badly,” she chuckled watching Bull let out an echoed chuckle, “soon Trevelyan will come through looking for the assassin and clues. Just watch,” as she spoke Trevelyan came through and began talking to Phillip about his roll with the Council of Heralds, then Duke Gaspard’s Uncle, she disappeared through the large door into the courtyard. A few moments passed as Sarah sipped her wine and lazily munched away on the sweet cakes. She heard the bell ring, “and so it begins,” she sighed, standing beside Bull.  


She watched Trevelyan race down through the hall, “and enter Morrigan,” she chuckled.  


“Morrigan?” Bull paused from his chewing.  


“Yes, the arcane advisor to the Empress. She’s not the assassin and she’s killed an agent of Tevinter. Soon you’ll be taking me to stand beside Cullen and you’ll get to go bust some skulls in the guest wing. Crack a few for me, will you?” she chuckled finishing her glass.  


Before Bull could say something Leliana was waving Bull over from the entry way, and he nodded, looping his large arm in hers he walked her over to Cullen, “best of luck Bull,” she smiled up as she took her place beside Cullen. Who was standing arms crossed and as close to the wall as she could get, “not fond of the attention?” she tried to make small talk.  


“No, I have no idea who these people are and they won’t leave me be,” he growled under his breath, “and your,” he cleared his throat and leaned down to her, “your attention is the only one I desire.”  


Her eyes flew open wide, “you aren’t angry with me? I… Cullen…”  


“Hush, we can’t talk here. The walls have ears, when we return to the inn I will speak with you then, I promise,” he leaned back and stood stoic.  


Sarah felt excitement rush through her, “if not Skyhold, just in case. Would you…” she fumbled with her lace gloves, carefully peeling them away from the webbing between her fingers, “would you care to dance later?”  


“I’m sorry I don’t dance,” he immediately flinched, “Maker’s breath, I’ve been asked that question so many times this evening I’m rejecting it automatically. Templars never attended balls,” he tried to smile up at her.  


Sarah let it go and watch people dancing on the ball room floor beneath them. Long billowing skirts twirling against men in regal attire. Nothing like what Cullen was wear, or looking as masculine as he was. Without all his armor, he was still shockingly tall. Nearly a full head and a half over her. His shoulders broad like a linebacker and built tight and hard. Even his hands seemed large, able to engulf her entire hand with room to spare. She languidly stared out the corner of her eye at him, smitten with every curve and ever edge of him. The sound of the bell brought her back to her senses, “almost there,” she tightly clasped her hands together. Seeing Trevelyan come back into the ball room and be almost immediately snagged by Duchess Florianne, “here we go.”  


She watched as Trevelyan danced with Florianne, their feet like skaters on the ice as the seemed to float. It almost seemed romantic if Trevelyan wasn’t dancing with an assassin. She knew it would be over soon, soon she’d be racing off to the royal wing and then the big finale. Things were going smoothly so far, but she hadn’t let her guard down, “are the men in place?” she leaned into Cullen, gently gracing his shoulder.  


“Yes, I await the Inquisitor’s signal,” he paused and looked down at Sarah, “it’ll be soon, won’t it?”  


All she did was nod as the crowd gathered to watch Trevelyan’s dance with the Duchess. Sarah felt something off, something not right. The dance came to an end and Josephine rushed to see Trevelyan. Bull appeared and stood beside Sarah, “go see the Inquisitor, Cullen,” he pointed his big horned head as Cullen quickly wove through the crowds.  
“Something’s not right Bull, I can feel it,” Sarah nibbled the inside of her lip, threatening to chew a hole through it.  


“Don’t fret you’ll cut your lip open,” Bull swatted at her hand, “we’ll figure this out.”  


Sarah started to think things over. The first time she told someone the truth it was Dorian, and when that happened someone tried to kill Cullen. The second time it was Bull and she was attacked just outside Cullen’s tower. Now she had told Cullen, alone with no one near by. She knew now that she was the target and it was probably going to be when Florianne sprung her trap. She looked over to the man beside her dressed as an Orlesian noble. He seemed to be fidgeting with his finery. Shit, he’s a Venatori, she thought. At least she knew where the attack was coming from, she’d be ready with a barrier and her dagger.  


“You’ve figured it out, haven’t you?” Bull looked down at her, leaning against the wall.  


She nodded and put her finger to her lips, “the walls have ears and are never far away,” she motioned her eyes to the man standing a few feet from her.  


Bull nodded, “so I have ever told you about the time I was hunting down Ta-Vashoth in Sepheron? Ven and Tori caught this runt bastard just a couple steps away. Tried to hide in plain sight. When the fighting started, he tried to hit the guy closest to him. We knew he was a plant, he died choking on his own blood,” he grinned.  


Sarah patted a hand to her chest, “a small dagger to the throat or his chest?” she hoped Bull knew what she was trying to say.  


“It was quick and bloody, don’t remember exactly what got him but if the dagger didn’t he was covered without knowing it,” he lifted his head up, “here comes the Commander, got a nasty scowl on his face. Guess I’m getting some more wet work in this evening.”  


“Royal wing, enjoy you evening,” she peeked around him to see Cullen, “everything went well Commander?” she tried in her best Fereldan accent.  


He couldn’t help but let a slight chuckle pass his lips, “yes. Who knew the Inquisitor could dance so gracefully,” he returned to his position by the large window, his arms folded tightly across his chest.  


“Commander you have such lovely hair,” the man beside him giggled, his hand to his lips.  


“Thank you,” he grumbled.  


“Commander,” Sarah tried her best to sound anything but Dalish, “may I have a word?”  


Cullen sighed and took a step beside her, “what is it?”  


She whispered low, “the man beside you is a Venatori agent, they’re everywhere. Soon Trevelyan will come rushing through the doors across from us. You will need to act fast,” she tilted her head to see past him, “I will handle him, do not turn back, do as you originally planned without a second thought.”  


“I cannot in good faith leave you defenseless here,” he clenched his jaw.  


“You have no choice and unless you run a seemingly defenseless patron through in cold blood there isn’t any other choice. I have my own methods to protect myself,” she patted her chest, “he won’t see me coming,” she made her finger tips glow softly, “I can protect myself, now that I am aware of the danger. I will not be taken off guard again.”  


Cullen grunted, “I suppose I have no other choice. I shall be ready for the signal,” he leaned back and stood tall.  


Sarah remained standing tall, her hands near her chest, toying with her fingers like the Orlesian women around her. She watched as Cullen stiffened and within a few moments, the doors across the way burst open, Trevelyan covered in gore and blood stepped through the door in full armor, her staff held tightly in her hand. Cullen raced off to meet her and Sarah watched Florianne begin her slow ascent on the Empress. Cullen had his sword thrust into his hand as Trevelyan ran calling out Florianne’s name. Sarah took the momentary distraction to retrieve the dagger from between her breasts. Holding the still wrapped blade she took a step back, seeing the man beside her step forward. Her back was against the wall and Trevelyan barked at Cullen to arrest Florianne. As the many times before Florianne called on her Venatori and sure enough the man before her, pulled off his disguise. As he stepped forward Sarah lunged and plunged the blade deep into his neck, tearing down and away, just missing being bathed in his arterial splatter.  


Trevelyan gave chase to Florianne out the back window yelling to Cullen, “save the people!” Cullen and his men went to work and Sarah jumped into the fray. She helped several guests using a gush of air to knock them away from sword blows from Venatori agents as Cullen’s men started their wet work and tended to them. Cullen himself jumped down onto the ball room floor beside her and began s to clashing steel with the Venatori. Within a few moments, the enemy laid dead on the floor and they were triumphant. Sarah began healing people as best as she could, handing out the few potions she had to those severely injured.  


She quietly returned to her place by the window, back to the wall as she wiped down her blade on the body of the Venatori she’d struck down and wrapped the knife back in it’s cloth and placed it firmly again between her breasts. She calmly stood as Trevelyan came back in and went straight to speak with the Empress. She didn’t want to let her guard down till they were back at Skyhold. Had that man been the threat? It seemed to easy, way to easy. But then so was the dagger tossed at Cullen. She was watching everything happen around her, eye darting out to everywhere.  


“Calm down, the danger has passed,” Bull laughed standing next to her, “we’ve killed the bastards and hopefully we’ll be heading back to the inn soon enough. They’ve run out of those nuts,” he pouted.  


Sarah let out a soft chuckle, “I hope the danger has passed, really I do but I don’t know. To be honest, I’m scared,” she looked over to see Morrigan walk onto the balcony, “though we shall be leaving soon enough. Trevelyan is meeting with Morrigan, then Blackwall will come to her, offer her a dance on the balcony, in private, under the stars,” she couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh.  


“Sounds nice,” Bull smiled, “perhaps Cullen and you?” he patted her on the shoulder.  


“I don’t know, this never happened before. I know what the main story will be, and all the side stories but this, is new,” she watched Cullen walk over towards her.  
“Finished with business Cullen? She’s all yours,” Bull bowed and walked away. Leaving Sarah standing against the window and Cullen moved beside her, the small group that gathered beginning to fan out to mingle with others.  


“Are you alright? Did you get hurt?” Sarah quickly looked him over. Not a speck of blood on him.  


“I am fine, Templar training is useful for more than mages,” he sighed, “would you, care to dance my lady?” he reached his hand out.  


Sarah smiled and placed her hand in his and let out a slight giggle as he pulled her around the corner and outside onto a side balcony, completely bereft of people. He pulled her in close to his body, “I shall try to dance, for you.”  


She let out a soft giggle as she rested her head against his chest, the cool night air sweeping over them, “ask me anything, if you wish. Know I cannot tell you what is to come, or people’s private lives. I apologize if I upset you earlier. One’s life should not be surmised so painfully or so quickly,” she held his hand tightly in hers.  


“At first I was in shock. To relive the nightmares of my past so vividly and so quickly. I have never spoken about what happened to me before, to anyone. Yet you knew all the details of it, all of it. You should have run screaming from me or at the least been terrified to utter a single word about yourself to me. In truth, I couldn’t be upset,” he kissed her forehead, “you have stayed with me, helped me, and taken care of me knowing what I am, what I was, and what I have done. For that I am amazed.”  


She drew in deep breath, savoring the scent of his jacket, the leather of his gloves and the traces of sweat from the battle, “I… I love you,” she uttered.  


As she leaned to look at him everything swirled and spun, the feel of his hands in hers vanished and when she blinked she was back in Skyhold. Sitting on the edge of his bed, hearing him go over a report with several of his soldiers.


	11. Arbor Wilds.. Or?

She flopped back down on the mattress. Did she get the words out in time? Did he hear her say she loved him? What happened in the span of time it took to get back here? She looked up through the hole in the roof, best she could judge it was mid-day possible early afternoon. She laid there until she heard the door close and Cullen’s voice ring out, “are you awake, my darling?”  


Sarah smiled, oh how she loved hearing that, “yes, I am,” she looked down to see she was wearing a long cap sleeve nightgown. A fur trimmed cape tied over her shoulders, “thought I don’t think I’ve dressed for the day,” she laughed, “may I a word?”  


Cullen chuckled, “come down, I shall lock the doors for a bit. I could use a break,” she heard him walk around and beginning locking doors as she climbed down the ladder.  


“I hate to do this, really I do, but what happened while we were dancing? How did we get back here? The last thing I remember is snuggling into your arms and beginning to dance then waking now,” she sighed.  


“We danced for a little while longer than you grew tired. The party wound down quickly and we all returned to the inn, everything had been prepared for us to pick up and head back to Skyhold. You slept through the entire trip and have awoken just now,” he laughed turning to face her after latching the last lock, “that nightgown and cape was a gift from the Inquisitor for aiding the injured and knifing that agent before he could harm a single person.”  


She ran her hands through the fur of the cape, “it is a fine piece, I shall be sure to thank her,” she turned to see his desk a mess of papers, “a lot of work to do upon return?”  


“Corypheus has pulled back and is possibly heading towards the Arbor Wilds. We await word from the Inquisitor on her next move. She has left for the Emerald Graves considering possible red lyrium routes. If I am correct, Samson is using dealers through the Emerald Graves, if she can locate letters or shipment manifests we could stop the production of red lyrium and cut the red Templars to the core,” his voice was harsh as each word dripped with heated venom.  


Sarah strolled over to his desk, seeing a tray filled with food and a bottle of her wine, “come, eat,” she smiled softly. She thought about all he’d told her and began to work through everything. He hadn’t heard her utter her affections and he really hadn’t had a chance to speak with her or ask her questions, “is there anything you want to ask me? I don’t think we got the chance to speak really at the ball.”  


Cullen thought about it for a moment, “I have some business I need to attend to in Fereldan. Care to come with me?” he stopped for a moment, standing by the door.  


“I’ll pack this up and we can take it with us. I’ll go get dressed,” she smiled and quickly climbed the ladder up to his loft. Once up she collected a fresh pair of clothes and dressed. She grabbed her large leather bag and climbed down the ladder. She quietly packed up the food best she could, wrapping the bread in a cloth, and placed it in the bag. The bottle of wine, still with a cork in it, into the bag. The cheese, and some meat also were wrapped up and placed in her bag. She grabbed the apples and couple oranges into the bag, the knife from the tray slipped in as well. She turned back, “all ready,” she smiled and adjusted the strap over her shoulder, moving the pouch on her hip. She had decided the pouch, filled with healing potions, bandages and now a healing balm, would be as important to her daily life as wearing smalls. Cullen gave her a bright smile and took her hand, “come,” he led her out the side door, through the broken tower beside his and down the stone steps. They rounded the small stone wall and then down the next stone stairway to the bottom level of the fortress. He carefully walked her to the stables, his one hand wrapped in hers and his other hand resting on the hilt of his sword.  


“Do you always go out wearing your full armor?” she giggled softly as Cullen took the reigns of a single horse.  


“I, feel more comfortable in armor. I am sure you can understand why, knowing what you know,” he took the bag carefully from her shoulder and strapped onto the back of the horse.  


She suddenly felt very silly for saying something, “I’m sorry,” she sheepishly looked away as he turned to her.  


“Have you ridden before?” he grinned, preparing to climb up on the horse.  


She simply shook her head no, which made Cullen chuckle as he hopped up onto the horse and held his hand out to her, “come, my lady, it will be a day of firsts.”  


She took his hand and he easily pulled her all the way you onto the saddle behind him. She quickly wrapped her arms around his waist and held tight. Earning her an chuckle from him. He leaned down, “I shall have the mare returned before too long Master Dennet.”  


The old gent nodded and waved as Cullen turned the horse and trotted off across the bridge. After they crossed the bridge he whipped the horse up in a full cantor, pushing the horse to rush down the dirt road. Sarah gripped him tightly, mildly terrified having never ridden a horse before in her life.  


“Are you alright?” Cullen gripped her hand, “I am right here.”  


“I’ve never been on a horse before,” she closed her eyes and buried her face into the back of his cloak, relishing the feel of the soft fur against her cheek.  


“I could tell that much,” he let out a hearty chuckle, “it is safe, I assure you. I have ridden many horses in my life.”  


“I have faith in your skill, truly I do! I just do not have faith in the horse!” she squealed “how much farther is it till we reach our location.”  


“Just up ahead,” he chuckled, “have you closed your eyes?”  


“Yes, very much yes. I am very much afraid,” she squeezed her eyes tighter, “absolutely terrified.”  


Cullen clicked his tongue and gave the reigns a soft tough, causing the horse to slow up and go into a trot, “is this better?”  


Sarah drew in a few deep breathes trying to calm herself, “yes, though I would prefer to have both feet on the ground,” she shuttered.  


The horse trotted forward a little bit further before Cullen pulled the reigns again, “whoa girl, whoa,” the horse slowed down and came to a stop.  


Sarah calmed down and sat back, slowly releasing her grip on his waist. As she did so Cullen swiftly dismounted from the horse, landing with a heavy thunk on his boots. He reached up to her, “come on, I have you.”  


Sarah smiled and tried to wiggle out of the saddle, awkwardly slipping out and falling from the saddle. She tumbled into Cullen’s arms, “I guess you really do have me,” she giggled nervously, her face close to his.  


Cullen smirked, his scarred lip curling up, “I believe I do,” he leaned in and laid a soft kiss upon her lips. Eliciting a sigh of contentment from her. He slowly pulled back, an amused look on his face as he carefully set her down, “come, I want to show you something,” he untied her bag from the horse and quickly looped the reigns of the horse around a large nearby tree trunk. He turned back to her and waved her to follow him, “I would often come here to clear my head when I was a child,” he chuckled leading her to a small dock over a calm lake. The sound of the water softly licking the edge of the banks soft and lulling, “I have three brothers and sisters and they were very loud. I came here often, of course they’d always find me eventually.”  


Sarah’s heart fluttered seeing him place the bag down by the dock before stepping foot on it and leaning against a large wooden post. She looked out over the crystal-clear water, a large lighthouse in the distance glowing in the hanging evening fog. She could smell the flowers on the warm breeze, embrium and crystal grace. She took a few steps onto the dock and was surprised at how sturdy it was. She walked up to stand beside him, “it’s beautiful,” she looked over to see Cullen lovingly watching her, a smile upon his face, “you have wonderful memories here.”  


“I do,” he opened his arms to her, and she walked closer and let him wrap her up in him, “you have been through a lot and I wanted to bring you a little bit of peace and quiet. If only for a little while,” he held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.  


“This is wonderful Cullen, thank you,” she sighed, listening to the sound of the water and the breeze through the surrounding bushes and trees.  


Cullen dug about in his pocket, “the last time I was here, was before I left for Templar training. My brother saw me off and he gave me something for luck he said. This just happened to be in his pocket,” he pulled out a coin and held it out to her in his gloved hand, “I would like you to have it. With all that has happened, it would make me feel better knowing you had it.”  


She smiled, she’d loved this part in the relationship building with Cullen in the game and here she was getting a personal version all her own. It melted her heart, “oh Cullen, of course I’d love to,” she gripped it in her palm, before she placed it in her pouch, “I swear I’ll keep it safe.”  


Cullen brought her back into him tightly and snuggled her looking out over the lake. Sarah giggled, “is the water warm?”  


Cullen chuckled, “possibly, I have not been in this lake in some time. What are you thinking?”  


Sarah patted his chest and walked back grabbing her bag she came back and sat down, pulling off her boots and socks she put them beside the bag and rolled up her pants, “this,” she shimmied to the end of the dock and dipped her feet in. It was surprisingly warm, she had imagined it would be freezing.  


Cullen chuckled, “I do remember doing that as a child. He sat beside her and pulled his boots and socks up, rolling his pants up her followed her lead, “this brings back happy memories too.”  


She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, “this is perfect, thank you.”  


“I do not wish to know the future, or what is to come. I trust you are here to help, everything that has happened has benefitted everyone but yourself. I truly believe you to be a good woman, saddled with a terrible burden. Were there something I could do to rid you of this burden, I would without a second thought,” he reached his arm around her, “you saved my life, twice. I only wish to learn about you, seeing as you know so much about me.”  


“I’m not actually an elf in my plane. I’m a human, a touch taller than this form. I have shoulder length auburn hair, boring plain brown eyes and I wear glasses because my sight is poor. I’m not a thin perfect creature like this body, but I have a stellar rack,” she let out a snickering giggle, “by the way rack is a silly word for breasts or bosom. I live on my own, I’m turning thirty in a few months and I hate my job. I’m quitting once I get back and I’m going to go back to school to learn to do what I am passionate about. I wish to help people. I have a mother and a father and they are devoted to me in the silliest ways. I miss them,” she clenched her jaw, “I do not have anyone in my life, and I’d very much like that to be you, but I don’t know if that would work or if it could work,” she wiped a tear from her eye.  


Cullen sat quietly for a few moments before he spoke, “this is all a bit much to understand, but you are the same inside right? You have not changed who you are through all of this?”  


“Everything I have done, I would do in my own form, without a second thought. I am, exactly this way. Silly, funny, quiet, awkward and eager to help as much as I can,” she reached out and touched his hand, he opened it and looped his fingers in hers.  


“Then that is all that I care about. You are you, honest and truthful. How you look matters not. Your heart makes you, and your honor.”  


“You are a good man Cullen Stanton Rutherford, more than you give yourself credit for. You truly deserve to smile and be happy,” she leaned up tilting her head to lay a soft kiss upon his stubble cheek.  


They were quiet for a few moments more just relaxing and feeling the breeze on the water before finally Cullen let out a huff, “we packed all that food and have not touch a single morsel. We should get back to Skyhold. I shall be buried in reports, training rosters and irritating complaints,” he kissed her head again and pulled his feet out of the water.  
Sarah sighed and pulled her feet out too, giving them a shake the idea came to her head to use magic to get them dry. She focused her energy and the water dried off her feet, “I can dry your feet?” she giggled, “apparently, there is magic for that.”  


“Do you not have magic in your plane?” he let her dry his feet before sitting and pulling his socks and boots on.  


“Sadly, my world is a world of the mundane. No magic,” she finished pulling on her boots and picked up the bag. Walking over to the horse with Cullen, “you can’t tell the Inquisitor about this. If she were to know it would alter the timeline and I could die or worse…”  


Cullen took the bag and tied it back to the horse, before untying the horse from the tree, “I understand. It stays between those you have spoken to and myself. Come sit in front, I’ll teach you how to ride,” he lifted himself up on the horse and slid back on the saddle before reaching down for her hand.  


“If you insist, you do have me after all,” she grinned reaching up to him. He hauled her up and placed her between his legs. She handed him the reigns, “let’s get back home.”  


They laughed at her nervous energy and how terrified she was as they rode forward until they reached Skyhold both giggling and content in having shared a wonderful evening. Master Dennet took the reigns from Sarah and Cullen jumped down, waiting for Sarah. She quickly slid down and he caught her, placing her on her feet as they both giggled and he untied the bag. They both headed back up to his tower and once up he placed the bag inside the door and turned to her, “let’s go to the tavern, together. They have been asking me to go play Wicked Grace with them.”  


Sarah let out a roaring laugh, “you go ahead, I have some papers Dorian dropped off and I want to read. I’ll be fine in here,” she touched his cheek softly as she walked in the tower, “beside I have my own dinner and drinks ready,” she pointed over to the bag before she turned.  


“Alright, I won’t be late,” he smiled and shut the door, locking it behind himself.  


She went around and locked the other two doors snickering, “Wicked Grace, Maker preserve me,” she grabbed the stack of papers with her name on them and tucked them in the bag before climbing up the ladder. She stripped down to her smalls and pulled on the new nightgown. She lit the candles up around the loft and pulling the bag onto the bed she settled in to start reading. She opened the bag and pulled the wine and a glass out, some of the food and the knife. She pulled the cork out and poured herself a drink as she began reading the papers. She ate here and there, picking through everything as she read. She finished her glass and poured a second one when she heard a knock on the side door. She placed her papers down and quickly slid down the ladder, “hello?”  


“Sarah, please let me in quickly!” Cullen’s voice was frantic on the other side of the door.  


She tried not to laugh as she opened the door and he flew in, his hands covering her nether regions, “you bet the Antivan, oh Maker!” she shielded her eyes, “go I won’t look, go get something on.”  


He huffed and stammered as he quickly climbed the ladder. Sarah latched it quickly before slowly walking over to the ladder, “may I come up?”  


“Yes,” he groaned the sound of him hopping on one foot made her giggle.  


She calmly climbed the ladder taking her time. Once she got to the top she pulled herself up, “are you alright?”  


“You knew that was going to happen,” he groaned sinking down onto the bed in only his smalls.  


“I told you I can’t tell you, or it will change the time line,” she sat beside him, “but the good thing is you had a good time up until your run of shame,” she grinned trying to make the situation light.  


“I will never play Wicked Grace again, Maker save me.”  


“Let me clean the bed off, we should get some sleep. It’s been a long day, and I’m fairly sure it’s going to get longer yet,” she collected the food scraps and wrapped them in a cloth, recorked her wine and packed her papers neatly up again, “there, come lay down.”  
Cullen huffed and crawled into bed. She laid beside him, curling into his side, laying her head over his heart, “you’re adorable when you’re flustered Cully,” she stopped. Giggling, “I’m sorry, Sera calls you that, Cully Wully, I swear I will never call you that in front of anyone, ever.”  
He let out a chuckle, “sleep, my darling. We need sleep.”  
Dorian came to visit her the next day, as Cullen stormed off to Josephine’s office to get his things returned to him, “Dorian? Can you do me a little favor?” Sarah toyed with the coin in her palm.  


“Yes, my dear, what is it you require?” he looked over at her sipping his wine and flicking through a book.  


“Can you take this to Dagna? I know of no one else who can turn it into a necklace in Skyhold and I am too nervous to leave here without someone with me. Unless you’re up to visiting the undercroft with me?” she looked over at Dorian as he took the coin from her hand.  


“I can take this once the Commander returns. If you wish to make it a surprise it would be best, I do it alone. All of Skyhold will be abuzz if they see you lead into the undercroft with me,” he wrapped the coin in a handkerchief and placed it in his pocket, “I’m certain our spunky arcanist could easily create a pretty piece in a few moments.”  


“I look forward to seeing it. But please Dorian I beg you, no gold or brass metals. They are not my favorites,” she giggled taking a sip from her wine, “so tell me how was the card game last night?” she couldn’t help the small giggle and grin that spread over her lips.  


Dorian cocked an eye at her, “you know full well how it went. Our poor Commander should have made a sound tactical retreat against our lovely ambassador. Instead he went full in without conscious thought. He paid for that, in all of his glory,” he chuckled warmly, stroking his chin.  


“I almost wish I could see the conversation involved in getting his armor back,” she snickered, “she doesn’t give him, his smalls back,” she burst into laughter, snorting loudly.  


The sound of her snort sent Dorian into a fit of giggles as well, “Maker, I wonder why she keeps them?”  


“I have a theory that it’s some kinky Orlesian noble that will pledge some coin or such to the Inquisition if only for a pair of the Commander’s smalls. Preferably worn, I’d take it,” she shuttered, “though who would want such a thing is truly odd.”  


“With Orlesian’s you can never truly be sure. I have no doubt one would request such an intimate piece of his attire. Still, rather personal,” he took a sip from his drink, “the Commander should be returning shortly. Our lovely Inquisitor has returned from the Emerald Graves with papers for him.”  


Sarah knew what this meant, those lines on the red lyrium supplies that would lead to Sahrnia and the quarry. From there it would bring him straight to Samson, with the right options selected on the war table. The Temple of Dumat, it would be interesting on how that plays out, “I’m aware of where this is going. His need to stop Samson is fairly strong.”  


“You mean bordering on obsessive,” Dorian pricked his head up, “I heard boots, best to tidy up,” he put a cork in the wine and downed his glass.  


The door swung open wide, “Maker’s breath, that was degrading. I can’t find my… Dorian!” Cullen stopped dead in his tracks, arms loaded with his armor pieces.  


“Commander, you were in such a rush this morning you walked right past me. Lucky for you I have other tasks I need to attend to this moment and must sadly take my leave,” he stood up and bowed graciously to Sarah, “have a wonderful day my dear, try not to work too hard Commander,” he turned and strolled out the door, carefully shutting it behind himself.  


Sarah stood up out of Cullen’s chair and carefully gathered her papers and a couple books, “I’ll take my work up to the loft. You have work to do,” she smiled, “I’m sure you are going to be quite busy today. Dorian informed me the Inquisitor is back from the Emerald Graves. Lunch together today?” she turned to go up the ladder hearing his armor carefully rattle onto the desk. She began climbing up and when she reached the top slid her papers up before climbing up herself. Spending the day lazing about in bed, reading wasn’t such a terrible thing.  


The door to the office opened as she settled into her spot and laid out her papers. She patiently listened as Cullen received a small bundle of papers from a messenger who then raced out the door. She could hear him putting his armor pieces back on as he read over the papers on his desk, a growl breaking from his throat. She knew they were the smugglers’ letters. She lifted her papers up and began pouring over all the different theories and after a few moments lost interest. She began daydreaming of what could be. About Cullen, about staying in Thedas. She could manage without running water, she’d rough camped before and spooning water over her head for the rest of her life or large copper tubs wasn’t such a bad thing. Even putting up with menstrual cycles in the arcane times might be worth it. However, her thoughts drifted to her mom and dad and her dreams of completing her schooling. She curled up against the headboard. The sound of the door opening breaking her misery.  


“Commander what do you have for me?” Diana Trevelyan strolled in, a smile upon her face, “I am off to see Blackwall after so I do hope it isn’t anything terrible,” Sarah peeked up over the edge to see her Trevelyan wearing the midnight armor, the silver scales gleamed in the broken rays streaming down from the ceiling.  


“I believe we have located the source of Samson’s red lyrium. A location out in the Emprise Du Lion. A small mining town called Sahrnia. If we could disable his mine we would cripple the red Templars, stripping them from their main source,” she could hear the wicked grin upon his face through his words.  


“Then I shall set out to Sahrnia and render his army powerless. We’ll catch him soon Cullen, I promise. I shall see you once I have more information. Good day Commander,” she walked to the door stopping and turning back, “good day Sarah, I do hope you will try to come out on your own soon. We would love to see you strolling Skyhold in peace. The gardens are particularly beautiful with the new upgrades,” she quietly stepped out before Sarah could answer.  


Sarah smiled, she really wanted to go out on her own and explore Skyhold. She had seen so little of it since her arrival and there was so much more to see. She wanted to go look at the kitchens, the armory, see the main hall completed with it’s décor and she really wanted out of the little tower. She thought about it, as she listened to Cullen shuffling papers around and let out a loud groan. She packed her papers away and climbed down the ladder, the gardens sounded wonderful. She noticed Cullen taking off his armor and pulling a training jerkin on, “going to train the men today?”  


“I need to get out from behind this desk,” he rubbed his forehead, “if I stare at theses papers any longer I may require glasses myself,” he chuckled looking over at her. She could tell her was reading her thoughts, “you wish to venture out. Please be careful,” he scowled.  


“I have my dagger in my pouch and this time I’m aware of everything. I won’t be caught off guard again, I swear it to you,” she smiled, “but I would like to walk with you down to the training area, if you don’t mind,” she drew in deep breath looking at the door. She wanted out but it made her nervous and her palms began to sweat. She felt Cullen splay his hand across the middle of her lower back. She nodded and walked with him, glad he didn’t try to talk her out of it or convince her not to go. She placed her hand on the flap of her pouch and with the other hand opened the door facing the tower she was attacked near. Together they walked through the door and then through the tower, then down the stone steps. She felt the cool air of the mountain splash over her face and it helped calm her nerves as they reached the bottom, past the tavern and around to the training arena.  
She watched Cullen walk over to a large group of men and begin roaring out his orders. She smiled and walked towards the large main keep, seeing Dorian at the top of the large stone stairway. She happily skipped towards him, “did you see our friend?”  


Dorian’s eyes lit up, “ah decided to come out of hiding today? It is wonderful to see you outside of that depressing little hovel.”  


She wrinkled her nose at him and giggled, “show me around? Please? I wish to see everything!” her eyes lit up as she looked over his shoulder into the main hall, fully repaired and decorated with rich tapestries embroidered with shimmering golden thread. She gasped, “it’s finished! Oh, it’s gorgeous!”  


Dorian let out a snicker, “ah yes our dear ambassador has outdone herself with all of this,” he waved to the large statues of Andraste holding hanging bowls of fire.  


“Is that marble?” she walked around him to get under the statue, touching it’s base, “it’s amazing!”  


Dorian sauntered over and softly gripped her arm, “come, let’s give you the proper tour,” he walked her over to Josephine’s office and walked in, “our dear ambassador, Lady Lavellan has finally decided it is safe enough for her to join us. Would you be so kind as to take her on a proper tour of Skyhold?”  


Sarah stopped, “what? No, I can’t ask you to do that! Lady Montliyet must be busy with dignitaries, I do not wish to bother her with such things,” her face was flushed pink as she looked over at Josephine’s desk, seeing the dark-skinned woman cock up a grin.  


“Oh, my lady Lavellan! I would be most gracious to show you Skyhold. It would be no problem at all, in fact it would be a wonderful distraction from a rather stressful day,” she stood from the desk and walked over, “perhaps you wish to see the war room? The Commander must speak of it constantly.”  


Sarah couldn’t help but get excited, “oh I would love to see it!” she turned back to Dorian, eyes dancing with glee, “will you join us?”  


Dorian waved his hand, “my dear girl, I have someone to visit. Remember our conversation this morning? I was told it would be done shortly, and I wish to get this to you quickly. Dagna was quite excited,” he chuckled, “Josephine I leave her in your capable hands,” he turned and quickly disappeared out the office door.  


“I feel like I’ve been dumped on you,” Sarah turned back to Josephine, “I’m sorry. I asked that jerk for a tour and he pawns me off on someone else,” she chuckled, “if you have something you need to get done I can see myself around.”  


“No, it is fine. Come the war room is just through these doors and down a small hall,” Josephine opened the door and as she had said it was the long hall, a run of red carpet with gold trim leading from the door before her all the way up to the war room double doors. She let Josephine guide her, talking about all the work the dwarven masons had done to repair the holes and stone work of the building but Sarah was just in awe of the entire view. Josephine opened the large door and waved her arm to let Sarah in.  


“This… I shouldn’t be in here,” she shook her head staring up at the stain glass windows as the sunlight seemed to dance across the colored panes of glass. She looked over at the large metal statues depicting the little pieces on the board. Cullen’s large spiked glove, Leliana’s raven and Josephine’s jeweled cluster. She looked up to see the large looming wooden sculpture of an owl in flight. There was so much to see, the war table being the crown jewel of the vast sized room. The room itself was enormous! She was fairly confident that the war room could easily meet the size of the Inquisitor’s quarters.  


“It is a vast room, one can feel small in here,” Josephine smiled as she stood at her position at the table, keeping a close eye on Sarah.  


“Very small indeed,” she didn’t want to move, but curiosity got the best of her and she slowly walked towards the large table. She scanned the table, it was easily fifteen feet long and stood to her hip. It was a flat section of a tree, laid on it’s side. The actual map itself seemed to be painted onto the face of the tree. An ocular skull sat on the table’s top corner as well as a few books and a box. Exactly as it had in the game, “this is amazing,” she looked up at Josephine, trying to focus and remember who she was pretending to be.  


“There is much more of Skyhold to see. Do you wish to continue?” Josephine was gripping her writing board with a lit candle a top, scanning papers as she awaited.  


“Please,” she felt like a fangirl hearing the release date of the next video game. It made her giggle with excitement as Josephine led her out of the war room, and back into the main hall. Josephine brought her to the throne area and showed her the throne, pointing out the throne is a symbol of Andraste’s holy pyre. Sarah knew it and smiled seeing the large back of the chair that mimicked the look of flames. She had always liked that throne in the décor options. Josephine pointed over to Sarah’s left showing the door to the Inquisitor’s private quarters and the door on the right being the undercroft area. Josephine quickly ushered her down to the hall, “I’ve been through the rotunda and to the library,” she smiled as Josephine guided her towards the gardens.  


“The Inquisitor just recently upgraded the garden to a sprawling herb garden,” Josephine held the door open and seemed to see something, “Lady Lavellan, please take a walk about the gardens. I have something I need to take care of, I will come get you shortly,” she smiled and bowed before rushing back down the hall.  


Sarah shrugged and walked through the wooden door into the large garden. It was beautiful and the scent of fresh foliage and flowers made her smile. She noticed Elan stooped over several pots, “Elan! How is everything going?”  


Elan stood up and dusted her hands off, “it’s good to see you Sarah! I was starting to think you’d never get to see the beauty of this garden,” she offered Sarah a hug.  


Sarah stepped into Elan and gave her a warm hug back, “it feels good to walk about again. How has Skyhold been treating you?”  


Elan let out a soft exhale, “since the Commander put his boot down on the barrack it has been much better. Anyone uttering a slur against elves or dwarves are quickly shown the front gates. I have no fear walking the gardens at night, which being an elf is refreshing.”  


Sarah felt a smile threaten to engulf her face, “that is wonderful! I was told you have an assistant helping you maintain the potions and herbs. Is that working for you well?”  


Elan nodded, “yes very well. The Inquisitor has upgraded the tower into its own Circle. Mages are studying and working on all kinds of new wonders. The young mages are out nearly daily plucking herbs of all kinds and always bring me back plenty to keep the potions stores high.”  


Sarah looked around, “I’m glad things are going well. I was concerned you didn’t have enough help. This is great,” she watched Mother Gisele stop a young Sister of the Chantry and begin speaking with her, a letter switching into Mother Gisele’s hand, “I’ll leave you to your work. I wish to see more of Skyhold before lunch. Be well Elan,” she smiled as Elan nodded back and stooped down returning to her work.  


Sarah knew what that parchment meant. Dorian would be leaving soon to deal with his father. She wished she could say something, be there for him. She had to be comfortable in the fact she’d at least get to see him after. As if summoned by her thoughts she turned to see him walking towards her a small wooden box in his hands.  


“Its done my dear and I do say it looks perfect,” he carefully placed the box in her hands, “well for a coin anyways,” he chuckled, watching Mother Gisele head into the main hall.  


“Thank you!” she carefully put the box into her pouch, “I’ll put it on later, right now I think it best you return to your alcove,” she scowled, “the Inquisitor will be visiting you soon.”  


Dorian cocked an eyebrow, “I shall take your word for it. Later my dear?”  


“Always,” she reached out and gripped his hand, “be well my friend and thank you again, truly!”  


Dorian nodded and walked back towards the main hall.


	12. The Things Between

Sarah knew that her Trevelyan would be finishing up all the side quests now. Dorian, Bull, Vienne, Varric, Cassandra, Sera, Cole, Solas, Cullen, and Blackwall. Oh Blackwall, that one was going to hurt, and no matter what that one was coming very, very soon. She’d save Blackwall for last, and by her guess she was starting with Dorian. She drew in a deep breath focusing back on her small tour. She guided herself about the garden, seeing the small private pergola with Morrigan and her son underneath, the repaired large well in the centre, and several rows of plants and herbs. She finally finished a little walk about and headed back towards the main hall.  


“Lady Lavellan,” Josephine came running over to her, “I’m sorry but I must continue our tour another time, I do hope you understand,” she smiled sweetly.  


“It’s no problem at all, please the Inquisition needs your expertise,” she bowed and watched Josephine bow back and walk back to her office. Sarah sighed and wandered down towards the entry to the main hall, hearing metal clashing against metal. She knew about now Cullen would be several rounds into training and be very sweaty and possibly half dressed. The thought sparked excitement in her core to see that massive muscle clenching and pulling tight as he swung his sword and shield. His motions were masterful and it made her weak in the knees to see such raw power. Her mind wandered to all those fanfics of his dominating power, his masterful control of pleasure and pain. She sucked in her bottom lip and nibbled on it as she walked out the main hall and down the stone steps, intent on watching the show from the sidelines.  


“Come on, do you believe your enemy would be light on you? If I were your enemy you would be dead,” his voice growled as the recruit before him trembled at his glare.  


“Please ser, mercy!” the recruit whimpered as he coward behind his shield.  


“Rylen, get this man out of my sight!” Cullen roared pointing his blade at the whimpering mess of a man.  


Rylen chuckled and grabbed the man by the shoulder, “if he scares you kid, best to find a new line of work. A red Templars isn’t as pretty,” he winked over at Cullen as he helped the young man off the training field.  


“Everyone take a water break, get some lunch and return here,” Cullen slammed the tip of his sword into the dirt, hanging his shield over the hilt. Walking over to the corner of the small ring he grabbed a water skin and dumped it over his head.  


Sarah sighed a little louder than she wanted, hungrily watching the water trail over his body, watching the bob of his adam’s apple as he drank. She couldn’t help the thoughts coming to her head, the urge to run her tongue over his scarred lip, to melt into his body and feel his hot skin against hers. She tried to stay back in the small crowd that was beginning to disperse, if only to watch a few more moments before he cleaned himself up and retrieved his shirt. That’s when she heard someone speaking in an Orlesian accent, “Maker the Commander is quite the sight to behold. It is a shame he has chosen someone lower than himself,” a clearly female voice huffed.  


“Did you hear what he said at the Winter Palace? When asked if he was married he informed the small group that he was not, but that he was very much taken. I’m fairly certain a few hearts were shattered that night. Especially, to find he is cavorting with an elf, a Dalish elf too!” a male voice sounded rather curt.  


“You know the Tevinter Magisters so love their elven slaves. Perhaps it is the same with Fereldans. Something about their lithe frames and perhaps their dexterity makes them quite enjoyable. Or so I have heard, from Philip,” the female voice quickly hushed her voice, “quickly we should go inside.”  


“Why should we leave? The Commander’s lack of clothing is rather an enjoyable vision to behold,” the male’s voice seemed to drip with lust.  


“Because I believe that gaunt creature back there is his paramour. Quickly before she sees us, or worse yet, hears us,” the sound of foot steps rushing away filled her ears.  


Sarah couldn’t help but shake her head, but the vision of Cullen’s half naked body, gleaming in the sunlight was enough to clear the foul mood threatening to consume her. After all it was extremely difficult to be mad when faced with that body. She noticed then, that he had caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye as his lip twisted up into a smug smirk. He wiped his face and chest off with the rag hanging over the training circle fence and then walked over to her, “how has your private tour of Skyhold gone? Any troubles?”  


Sarah swallowed hard as she was finding it difficult to focus, “no, nothing troubles me. I mean nothing bad had happened, its been a very handsome sight… I mean…” she flushed bright red and buried her face in her hand. She could hear Cullen snickering as she fumbled to focus, “Maker you are cruel,” she finally shot out.  


“Cruel? How have I been cruel?” a look of sheer indulgence seemed to be etched across his chiselled jaw.  


“Oh, don’t play innocent with me,” she let out an equally silly half giggle, still trying to collect herself, “you are putting this act on, on purpose,” she clamped her hands on her hips.  


He leaned over the fence, placing his boot on the bottom rung, his face a few inches from hers, “I never claimed to be innocent,” his voice husky and low.  


A shutter fluttered up her spine at his words. His eyes were like pools of golden amber, and she wanted so badly to do something to him when a loud booming voice broke the tense moment, “Commander! The Inquisitor and I are leaving to head to Caer Oswin in search of the missing Seekers. She is expecting to hear word back from messengers in regards to the incident at Sahrnia,” Cassandra spoke calmly as she stood beside them. Cullen slowly straightened up as she spoke.  


“Thank you for informing me Cassandra. Is there anything you require?” his voice calm and relaxed.  


“No Commander, thank you. The Inquisitor wished that I informed you of our journey. She has selected Blackwall, myself and that thing Cole,” she made a disgusted noise.  


Cullen nodded and drew in a deep breath, “any word from the man in our care?” he looked over at Sarah, “it’s been a day now. I assume he will be telling us a few things any time now.”  


“Yes, a lack of lyrium will do such things to weak people,” she looked over at Sarah then back to Cullen, “the report is likely on your desk. I must prepare to leave, take care Commander. Good day, Sarah,” she turned without ceremony and left.  


Sarah looked up at Cullen, “deny a man lyrium long enough and he’ll tell you everything. Am I right?” she remembered the quest, they’d find Carroll in the Emerald Graves and the Inquisitor would be sent to dispatch him. The man that once impeded the Hero of Fereldan from entering the Circle that nearly killed Cullen. Irony, and yet if she could join Trevelyan, she would enjoy ending Carroll herself.  


“Sometimes I forget you know these things,” he seemed to prick up straighter, “have you had lunch?”  


Sarah shook her head, “meet you at the tavern? You probably wish to dress,” the words came out with a little more disappointment then she intended and she blushed at herself.  


This made Cullen chuckle, “yes, I must redress,” he turned to leave, uttering softly, “for now,” before crossing the training ring and retrieving his shirt, as he walked up towards his tower.  


Sarah watched him walk away and up the stone steps, his leather breeches splayed tightly across his rear. Giving her a wonderful view that made her sigh again, before she finally collected herself and headed towards the tavern. Once inside the doors she headed up to the second floor and to the spot he had sat with her before. Seeing no one near it she casually sat down. She missed hearing Maryden sing and play her lute as people around the room chatted.  


“Good to see you out of your tower,” Bull came and sat beside her, plunking his mug down.  


“It’s good to be able to walk around. The upgrades to the garden is beautiful,” she sighed, “how are you doing?”  


Bull stopped for a second, “you already know what will happen right? Then you know I’ve received word about an alliance with the Qunari and the Inquisition. I’m going to work on a shield bash with Krem after he eats and settles a bit. The Inquisitor will be back soon enough,” he took a drink from his mug.  


“Yes, the Storm Coast mission,” she looked over the railing at the tavern door, “I’ll be here when you get back,” she didn’t want to look at him, his training would immediately catch on to her emotions.  


And he had, “this isn’t going to end well,” he sighed and his shoulders drooped slightly, “I was worried about it being like that.”  


“It’ll be fine, everything will be fine,” she smiled, “you’re the Iron Bull, mercenary captain to the Chargers!” she made little horns over her head with her fingers, “remember your horns be pointing up!”  


Bull let out a roar of a chuckle at her little fingers wiggling on her head, “cute horns.”  


She watched the door open and Cullen walked through, “he dressed very quickly,” she mumbled.  


Bull noticed where she was looking, “ah, bet he’d undress just as quickly, given the right motivations,” he patted her on the back, “it’s pretty obvious you are interested in that man,” he drew in a breath and spoke in a low tone, “skills.”  


“You will not hear me argue you on that point,” she watched him head over to the bar, “he’s special Bull, it’s been a very long time since I’ve met someone this special,” she sighed at herself and then let out a laugh, “I have failed miserably at not falling in love with him.”  


“Have you told him how you feel? I doubt he would disagree,” Bull stood up, “I mean you care for him, why deny what you feel?”  


“Because I will leave this place and go back to mine and he can’t follow,” she slumped down onto the table, resting her head in her crossed arms, “and I want him to, or maybe I don’t want to go… Bull it’s not so simple as yes, Maker yes, and wet sheets.”  


Bull let out a heavy snort, “perhaps things aren’t as simple as that no, but if you push him away you’ll crush him and yourself. If you give in to your wants and his, both of you will at least be happy for the time you’re here. It’s a tough call and its shit, but it doesn’t have to be a complete mess.”  


She thought about what he was saying as she noticed Cullen coming towards them, a tray in his hands, “maybe you’re right, I just. I don’t know if I can do either. Is it wrong of me to admit this to you, that I can’t and I don’t want to leave him? Knowing everything I know, and what will come.”  


“That’s on you, and something you must live with,” Bull patted her again on the shoulder, giving her a friendly, and surprisingly soft squeeze, “take your time, he’ll wait for you.”  


She nodded as Bull gave a nod and past Cullen on his way up the stairs. Sarah sat up in her chair and struggled to find some way of finding a happy medium. She tried to cheer up, “you can dress rather quickly when pressed,” she giggled.  


“Thank you?” he chuckled setting the tray down on the table, “I saw you speaking with Bull, is everything alright?”  


She watched him begin to pour her a glass of red wine from the bottle, “just informing me of an upcoming venture with the Inquisitor. He was looking for my reaction, it mimicked his own feelings. Other than that, just a friendly chat to see how I’m doing,” she took the cup from him, “how’s your morning been?”  


“Some of the men seem to think my training method is harsh. Clearly some have never see combat of any kind. I expect nothing less than what I expect from myself,” he pulled his chair out and sat down, settling into his seat.  


Giggling she took a bowl from the tray, “perhaps you expect a lot from yourself. Though the Inquisition will have the finest trained army in Thedas,” she nodded beginning to dig into her lunch.  


“The Inquisition and its Inquisitor deserve nothing less,” he took his lunch and began to eat.  


They ate in silence for the rest of lunch, Sarah fighting with herself to make up some form of decision. She wanted to be with him, wanted very much to run her hands through his hair as he laid atop of her. Feeling every itch of his naked body caress hers. She felt her face flush warm, wondering if it showed. She continued to pick through her lunch, far hungrier than she had thought she was. She couldn’t help but think. Once the game was over he’d forget her, and the game would go dark. It would restart and he would never remember her. But she would always remember him and maybe that would be enough. She didn’t want to leave this place having made the time miserable for them both. She could never do it while playing the game. He deserved a bit of happiness with everything he’d been through and perhaps she deserved to just lose herself for a little bit as well. After all, it might be worth the pain later. She smiled up at him, “has the Inquisitor found anything about Samson’s location?”  


“Yes, she has traced him down to the Temple of Dumat. Once she returns from Caer Oswin, she will more than likely seek to go after Samson,” he took a drink from his mug, “would you care to travel with us? In case someone requires healing? You would not be taken near the Temple itself but remain stationed at the base camp,” he tented his fingers, eagerly watching her, abandoning his lunch for the moment.  


“If that is what you wish of me, then I am yours to command,” she blushed as she spoke, thinking of clearly more than the act of following them, “though I am still unsure of riding a horse. Where I come from they state a true rider learns only to ride after falling or being thrown eight times. I sincerely do not want to be thrown or fall from such a large beast.”  


He chuckled heartily, “come, finish your lunch, you will need your energy,” he returned his focus to his meal, seemingly ignoring her innuendo. But she knew better, he was simply avoiding continuing the line of thought since he was dead focused on his resolve to stop Samson. She knew he’d be angry once they arrived at the Temple.  


She downed the last of her wine, and was swiping a piece of her bread along the bottom of the bowl when Cullen stood up, “in a hurry?” she chuckled, popping the bread in her mouth.  


“I heard the horn signal the return of the Inquisitor. I must return to my tower, in case she intends to find me. Please forgive my abruptness,” he stood and pushed his chair in.  


“Please, the Inquisition needs you, go,” she waved her hand, sitting back in her chair. She watched as he quickly paced off down the steps. She poured herself another glass of wine, then reached into her pouch, withdrawing the small box. Carefully she placed it on the table and opened it, overjoyed to see a silver chain and the coin perfectly socketed into a silver locket. She reached down and plucked it from the box, excitedly hooking the clasp behind her neck, and tucking it under her shirt. She looked forward to showing him later. She placed the box back into her pouch and stood up, sipped away at her wine. She felt the game shift as the people round her briefly froze.  


Suddenly everything jerked and people began to move around again. She finished her glass and stood up, cleaning up the lunch dishes she piled them all onto the tray and walked down the steps. She noticed Bull was missing, and she bit her lip, seeing Krem gone as well. She returned the tray to Cabot who nodded and thanked her. Then she strolled out the door, walking the length of the field to see Cassandra slashing and hacking away at the training dummies with great anger. She quickly walked past her and decided she’d check on Dorian.  


Several moments later she was standing in the library seeing Dorian looking out the window, gazing over the ramparts, “are you alright Dorian?” she softly spoke await him to turn around.  


“No really, but you already know why,” he turned and sat in his chair, “I understand you couldn’t tell me, or I may not have gone and I would have regretted it. Thank you,” he smiled weakly over at her.  


“I’m so sorry Dorian,” she walked over and sat at his feet, curling her legs up on the carpet, “I wish I could have, truly I do. You are a beautiful human being and you deserve happiness,” she laid a hand gently on his knee, “and the love you’re building with Bull.”  


Dorian carefully gripped her hand, “thank you, whether you’re from here or afar you have been a lovely friend to me. I do appreciate it.”  


“Come, you wish to drink and I have the mind to join you,” she smiled, “I think Bull will join us when he returns as well.”  


The two of them walked down the steps and towards the tavern. Again, Sarah felt the game briefly flinch and there was Bull, slamming shields with Krem outside. Trevelyan speaking with him. She walked calmly with Dorian to the tavern, Dorian picking a seat for them over by Bull’s usual spot. Cabot saw them come in and tapped a young girl, handing her two glass and a large bottle. She made her way over and plunked the bottle and glasses down, “thank you,” Sarah looked up as the girl nodded and walked away. Sarah pulled the cork out and poured them each a glass, “if it makes it better, I like the Dorian I see before me. He is a good man,” she lifted the glass, “to not having to scream on the inside, and to pariahs without them, life would be terribly dull,” she took a sip from the wine and put the glass down, seeing Bull come walking in, blood on his shoulder, “over here Bull,” she waved.  


“Dorian!” Bull’s words caught in his throat, “I’m sorry to hear about, earlier,” he nodded.  


Sarah stood and wave Bull to sit, and as he did she reached out and healed his shoulder, “can’t have you bleeding all over our pity party,” she snickered, seeing a slow smile spread across Bull’s face, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you. You aren’t a Tal-Vasoth, you are the Iron Bull,” she patted him tenderly on the shoulder.  


“Thank you,” Bull smiled up and looked over to Dorian, “care for some time?”  


Dorian nodded, “you’ll forgive us…”  


Sarah waved her hands, “remember, I already know,” she winked, “go, I have things to tend to as well,” she stood and walked out the door. Heading back towards Cullen’s tower. After all she knew now Dorian, Bull, Cassandra and she could easily guess two others side quests were done. That left Cullen and possibly one or two more. She hadn’t gotten to know the other party members and she had very little intention to. Either way, she knew with Cullen’s side quest completed, it would be a little bit for Dagna to craft the rune and then Trevelyan would go to the Arbor Wilds. After that it would be the end of the game. That would leave the DLC. The Deep Roads, Jaws of Hakkon and then the Trespasser DLC. She wondered, seeing a messenger race towards the barn, “ah Blackwall,” she almost forgot about that. She’d save it for almost last since it would suck.  


She opened the door to the broken section of tower and quickly slipped through, opening the door to Cullen’s office she entered. It was silent inside, not a single sound. She wondered where Cullen could be, then it hit her. Of course, she wouldn’t actually be going with them since it wasn’t a major mission, it was a side quest. He’d remember her as being there at the base camp and that would be all. She yawned, all the time stopping was making her dizzy and effecting her time of day. She climbed the ladder and intended to get a nap in. With all the side quests being worked on, a nap sounded nice. She stripped down to her bra band and smalls then climbed under the covers. Snuggling up tightly she fell asleep quickly.  


She woke to the sound of Cullen pounding his fists into the training dummy. She knew that was the sound, she’d punched a few bags before in her life and she was dead certain that was the sound. Which could only mean one thing, they’d gone to the Temple, he’d found the letter from Samson and poor Maddox. By the grunting coming from him she could also guess they’d discovered Blackwall was actually, Thom Rainier.  


She rolled over in the bed looking up at the sky, it was evening now. Or close enough to evening, she’d make an easy guess around five at night. She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, grabbing at her clothes. She quietly dressed, trying not bother him. She fixed her hair, letting it free from the constant tie, curious to see its true length. It fell just a little below her shoulders and she ran her hands through it. Having only used the soap from here and not the high end conditioners and products at home her hair was considerably soft. She slid down the ladder and quietly touched her feet down on the floor. Cullen wasn’t wearing his usual armor, he had on a simple short sleeve tunic and a brown pair of linen pants, tucked into his boots, “are you alright?” she calmly spoke coming to rest just beside his desk.  


“We just missed Samson, and Maddox. What a waste,” he threw another punch at the dummies head.  


“I’m sorry,” she sat on a small vacant spot on the desk, “at least you now have the tools to destroy his armor in Dagna’s hands. This will help,” she smiled.  


“True, though it does not take the sting off what that man has done,” he dropped his hands and walked back towards his desk, opening a drawer and withdrawing a rag, “The Inquisitor has gone off with Varric to explore something to do with red lyrium. She should return shortly.”  


“It’s almost time then,” she hung her head, “soon we’ll march upon the Wilds,” she was cautious with how this was feeling, how everything was beginning to feel, “Cullen I… have to be honest with you,” she fiddled with the ties of her waist cinch, “Maker that sounded horrible,” she let out a giggle, “makes it sound like I’m going to tell you something horrible doesn’t it, which I’m not. Very much not,” she accidently untied the cinch and it was falling off her. She tried to grab at it before it fell off onto the desk but instead she fumbled and knocked a bunch of things off Cullen’s desk, a bottle shattering as it hit the floor, “oh I’m so sorry!!!” she jumped off the desk and tried to pick up the broken pieces as her shirt fluttered open with the cinch’s bindings released.  


Cullen snickered as he watched her for a moment fighting her shirt and trying to gather the broken bottle pieces, “Sarah, please,” he stooped down and began helping her pick up the pieces, placing them on an empty plate on his desk.  


Sarah struggled with her shirt until frustration got the best of her head. Angrily she pulled the shirt off her head and threw it, “stupid shirt!” She regretted it immediately as she realized she was kneeling on the cold stone floor before Cullen, his back turned to her for the moment, in nothing but her breecghes and a bra band. She scrambled to stand up and fell over onto her bottom. As she fell Cullen turned around and saw her, “um… this isn’t want it looks like,” she threw her hands up in the air as Cullen’s face flushed bright red. She fumbled over her words a few times before panicking and racing up the ladder. She flopped back on the bed and began cursing herself mercilessly. How she wished she could just disappear right now.  


She could hear Cullen cleaning up downstairs and then the sound of the latches on the doors flicking shut. She sat up and waited for it, another round of embarrassment coming her way as she heard his boots on the rungs of the ladder, “Sarah is everything alright?” he pulled himself up the ladder removing his boots before sitting down on the bed.  
“No, and yes, and no again,” she sighed, burying her face in her hands, “I have been trying to tell you something for the last few days and every time I try, I always make an ass out of myself.”  


Cullen wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to him, “you can tell me anything Sarah.”  


She let out a long sigh, “Cullen, there really is no other way for me to say this other than just saying it. Please forgive me for not being better at it,” she leaned back peering into his eyes, which didn’t help the butterflies in her belly from fluttering harder, “Cullen, I love you.”  


His face lit up and he grinned widely, the crow’s feet at the edges of his eyes warmed his look, “this is what you have been trying so hard to say? Oh Sarah,” he tenderly touched her cheek, bringing her chin up to his face he began to lean in close to her, “I love you too,” he kissed her lips, pressing against her softly.  


She mewed into him, taking the moment to flip herself, straddling his waist and holding his face in her hands. Her heart was racing in her chest and each second his lips were against hers was making her want more. She needed more of him. She poked her tongue out, gently licking his bottom lip. This motions seemed to set him off as he gripped her hips tightly, hauling her against him. His tongue eagerly entered her mouth as she let out a happy whine, their tongues dancing off each other. She felt him harden underneath her as she began to slowly grind against him, her breath quickening as she raced her hands into his hair. She could feel his breath quicken and his heart beat strongly against her own chest, mirroring her own heart. She nipped at his lower lip, careful not to bite down hard, just enough that his eyes blew open wide, molten gold orbs of intense need gazing into her own. She gave a slight nod, sensing his need for approval, to be told it was alright. She released his lip and sat back. Catching her breath, she placed her hands on his chest and shoved him back on the bed.  


“Sarah,” he was breathy as he tried to lean up on his elbows.  


She just smiled and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, with a swift tug upwards it came off him, “if you don’t want this, tell me,” she sat back, looming over his half naked frame. She watched him intently, trying to steady her frantic breathing and racing heart. It had been nearly a year since her last time with a man, though she dare not call her ex a man. She felt everything around her was a swirl, a foggy haze of lust and wonder. She wanted to do some many things to this man underneath her, all she needed was an ok and she would. Cullen couldn’t speak, but his eyes said it all. A quiet, ‘don’t stop, Maker please don’t stop,’ written in the unspoken words in his eyes.  


In the simultaneously each reached for the other’s pant strings, clumsily fumbling to untie them. Sarah let out a giggle as Cullen cursed under his breath as his hands trembled trying to untie her pants. She pulled the last string and loosened his breeches. The light was waning and the stars were shining brightly overhead but not bright enough to help illuminate the tiny strings as Cullen began to growl in his chest, “I’ve got this,” she pushed him back and reached down. Painfully slowly she untied her laces, standing, licking her lips as she slipped her thumbs into the waist band of both her smalls and her pants. A slow, sexy wiggle and she was bringing them down. With each move of her hips she could see his cock twitch in his pants. She stopped her pants barely hanging on her hips and reached over for his waistband, “come on, get these off,” she giggled pulling on his pants.  


He lifted his hips and helped wiggle the pants off letting a soft puff of air escape his lungs as his pants rushed over his cock, the sudden sensation causing him to shutter. She grinned pulling her pants the rest of the way off. She crawled up his legs, running her hands up his thighs as she placed her knees on either side of his hips. She knew she was slick and ready, she leaned down and kissed his chest, the ultra fine hairs soft against her face as she trailed open mouthed kisses up sliding up his neck and giving a quick nip above his collar bone. She felt herself swim deeper in the pure rush of the moment as he let out a low gasping moan as she carefully nipped and sucked a small bruise blooming in her wake. She felt his hands on her hips, guiding her back, urging her to bring some form of friction to his aching need. She kissed up his neck, running the lips across his sensitive ear lobe, “do you want this?” she carefully skimmed her lips back down his ear, feeling his grip tighten on her hips, bringing herself to face him, kissing his jaw and back to his lips.  


He kissed her with blistering need, repeating ‘yes’ between kisses, as she slowly lowered herself onto him. A spine quaking shutter passing through her as she filled herself to the brim with him. He let out a heavy breath as he arched into her, eagerly thrust his hips against her. She leaned back, placing her hands on his chest as she began riding him slowly, grinding all the way out and all the way back in. Enjoying watching him writhe under her in pleasure. She could feel it building inside and rapidly. The angle was just right, bringing just the perfect amount of pressure and friction against her sensitive nub. It wouldn’t be long now and she’d find her ending. Leaning down close to him, picking up her pace as it started to become erratic, “I… won’t last,” she mumbled as she felt everything grow hazy and hot.  


“Please,” Cullen purred between broken breaths as he cupped her face, resting her forehead against his. She shuttered and felt everything grow dark before it burst within her like a thousand sunrises warm and enveloping every inch of her body. She cried out his name, falling forward as the strength left her body a limp, spent shell. She was breathing heavily as Cullen carefully rolled them over, still seated deep within her as he sat between her legs. She used what little energy she had left to wrap her legs around his waist, each movement he was making, caused her to shutter and pulse with the aftershocks of her thunderous orgasm.  


Cullen began slowly, carefully holding her hips tenderly. She was sure he’d be close and her whole body was a lit nerve, ever movement making her sigh. She wanted to feel him explode, see him come apart on top of her, “Cullen, please,” she eagerly panted. He must have understood what she was saying as he began pumping into her harder, his own breath becoming rapid as sweat beads started forming above his brow. Each thrust was taking her to a new level the tip of him tantalizing her cervix in a perfect mix of pain and pleasure. She had imagined he would be large and thick, she was right. She felt herself edge towards another orgasm, a deep sensation of completion, satisfaction of her mind and body as his thrusting began to lose its rhythm. She felt it creep up through her toes and into her core as he spilled forth with a throated growl. She felt him throbbing deep inside of her powerful and hot causing her to tip over the edge. She reached up for him as he half collapsed on top of her, threading her fingers through his hair as she rode the wave of pleasure out, this time more intense and blinding then the last, “Cullen…” she panted as she felt herself grow tired and her lids grow heavy.  


“Shhh,” he whispered stroking her hair as he slowly withdrew from her and rolled to the side, bringing her tight to himself, “thank you.”  


She chuckled softly, curling into his side as she laid her head upon his chest, “thank you,” placing her hand over his heart feeling it pounding in his chest, “Maker you’re too much,” she chuckled again sleep slowly tugging her down.  


“Too much?” he questioned, his voice thick with sleep and satisfaction.  


“I’ll explain when I’m able to,” she giggled again, wrapping her legs around his, “but I’m too tired and satisfied to,” she kissed his chest, “I love you, Cullen.”  


He chuckled and reached up to hold her hand over his heart, “I love you to, Sarah.”


	13. Skipping Ahead

She awoke slowly, only lucidly aware she was naked and he was still wrapped around her. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do anything but stay with him. She could still smell the sex, thick and heavy lingering in the air. That was when she realized the bed was different; they weren’t in the tower. Above her head was thick canvas, a tent material. Her eyes flew open as she realized the sounds of the camp, people marching around and the sound of magical explosions in the distance. They were in the Arbor Wilds. She started to panic. She shouldn’t be here, and further more shouldn’t he be out in the field fighting red Templars, Venatori and the remnants of the Grey Wardens? She leaned up on her elbow to see him slowly waking up, “we’re in the Arbor Wilds?” she exclaimed, a half panic in her throat.  


“You don’t remember the trip here? We have arrived ahead of the armies and set up a small base camp with Leliana’s people. The rest should be arriving shortly. We got everything set up then you insisted we turn in early to get a good rest. We made love three times before we fell asleep in each other’s arms,” he sat up and ran his hand through his hair, attempting to tame the wild strands and curls developing.  


Sarah groaned and flopped back down on the cot. She knew he was telling the truth, she was still dripping from their multiple escapades and was still craving more, “of all the cruel…” she threw her arm over her face, “I hope it was good for you,” she gritted out between her teeth, cursing the game for not at least allowing her to enjoy that moment.  


He stood and began dressing, “very much so. Though I believe you called me insatiable before falling asleep. What did you mean by that?” he tied his pants and reached for the rest of his clothing.  


“I’ll explain later, right now I have got to get dressed. Where will I be in all of this mess?” she sat up on the bed and looked around the room to see her clothes scattered throughout the room.  


“As far as I know you’ll remain at the healer’s tents at the base of the camp. There you will assist with healing and treating the wounded. I will be near the temple to guide the Inquisitor in. I can only hope that rune Dagna made will work against Samson’s armor if she encounters him,” he slowly tightened his sword belt before wrapping his cloak over his pauldrons.  


She started collecting her clothes and dressing, “who do I report to? Where is this tent?”  


Chuckling Cullen turned to see her slip on a fresh pair of smalls, he took a moment to admire her, “I shall escort you to the healer’s tent, then embark to meet up with the small group guarding the entrance to the temple. With luck the Inquisitor will reach this eluvian before Corypheus.”  


She would have worried had she not known the outcome of the battle and what was to come. She would have to tend to a few wounded and then once Trevelyan triggered the cut scene for the Well of Sorrows with Corypheus she’d be back in Skyhold. If she was lucky maybe this time the cut scene would let her enjoy the moment instead of hearing about it. She rolled her eyes as she finished dressing, “alright, I’m ready whenever you are,” she finished lacing up her boots and followed him out of the tent and into the hot, humid jungle air.  


Unlike Skyhold’s constant cool and crisp mountain breeze the Arbor Wilds was a veritable rainforest with oversized flora and fauna. Trees so large they blocked out the sun and their bases so wide she was certain you could carve the Herald’s Rest tavern right inside of it. She calmly followed Cullen through the sea of weapons racks, wagons, soldiers and tents through a hollowed out fallen log to the healer’s tents.  


“Sarah is here to assist you with whatever needs you have during the battle,” Cullen bowed to a man in a long mage’s robe, “the fighting starts soon. Be prepared for the worst,” he bowed before the man could exchange any words and headed back through the tunnel.  


“What can I do to be of assistance?” Sarah smiled brightly, seeing a group of mages and healers rushing to prepare their equipment.  


“You have magic? Know how to heal? Then go over there and see what they need. The non-mages are preparing bandages if you prefer to work with your hands over there,” he pointed out both separate sections of the tents, “I hope you aren’t squeamish,” he sighed and walked back towards the mages, trying to sort through several spell books and lyrium potions.  


She looked around and went over to the non-mages and began helping them weave bandages, all nervously speaking of the impending battle, but none of it effected Sarah. She was thinking of her night with Cullen, the one she remembered. The way her heart fluttered and how close and how real it all seemed. She was thinking about her choices, could she stay here? Would it let her? She wanted to be with him, it was more than a childish fantasy by a gamer. No, he was real, flesh and blood under her. Hearts beating together in unison. Even though the game was throwing her around and she was becoming that spare character you’d always see in scenes it all felt real.  


“The Inquisitor is leading the attack and heading towards the Temple!” someone yelled out across the base, a sudden rush of movement and anticipation began. She was still weaving bandages when the first groups of injured came in. She answered the call and gave her assistance the best she could, healing and helping. She tried to focus and think about how long this would take before she’d be back in Skyhold, not ankle deep in a wet forest floor, her hands slick with blood.  


That’s when someone shrieked, “archdemon!!!!” and came flying through the hollowed tree, “its been seen by the Temple.”  


It wouldn’t be long now, they were entering the Temple and soon Trevelyan would preform the ritual to gain favour with the elves. She continued to focus on the few injured before her, as she finished bandaging the last one she felt the game shift. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again she was laying naked in Cullen’s bed, “fuck, damnit, fuck!” she cursed as she sat up, gripping the blankets to cover herself.  


“Are you alright, Sarah?” Cullen’s voice sounded concerned as she heard him scramble around to rush up the ladder.  


She knew she had to tell him what was happening and that soon this would all be over. After all, all that was left was to judge Samson, if she hadn’t missed that and then deal with Corypheus. From there it was the two side quest DLC and then the ending of the game: trespasser.  


She sat up, still clutching the blanket as Cullen came over the top of the ladder and came to sit beside her, “I have to tell you something,” she twisted the blanket in her hands, “I’m jumping through time. The last thing I remember before waking here was bandaging someone in the healer’s tent. I have no idea how much time has past between then and now, but I sense my time here is growing short and…” she choked up, “I don’t want to go home,” she reached over and grabbed his hands, “I want to stay with you, no matter what, I want to be with you. I love you Cullen!” tears began falling rapidly down her face, soaking the edge of the blanket.  


“Sarah, I do not wish you to leave either, but you have family in your world and a life. If I could go with you I would, were it possible for you to stay I would not turn it down. I wish to be with you as well,” he rubbed his thumb lovingly over her knuckles, “I… I can’t.”  


She felt her heart shatter at the pain in his voice as she held his hands tight, “no more talk of this,” she smiled brightly, “we are after all so close to victory over Corypheus and that is important,” she had to focus, had to push past these terrible feelings. She didn’t want to cry anymore in front of him over this. No not another tear. She would spend the last moment with him, making sure his lips were constantly smiling, “want to explain why I’m naked and in bed alone?” she chuckled sweetly, reaching up to touch his face.  
Giving a chuckle he licked his bottom lip, “we celebrated our safe return to Skyhold and the loss of another one of Corypheus’s schemes.”  


“Has the Inquisitor tried Samson yet?” she nipped at the edge of her lip, knowing this might be a sensitive topic.  


“Yes,” he became slightly stiff at the statement, “the Inquisitor was set to see Lady Morrigan to go over the details of stopping Corypheus, then we are to have a war room meeting,” he leaned over and kissed her cheek, “you must be starving. Dress and we shall go get something to eat together,” he smiled.  


Giggling she kissed his cheek back, “you really want me dressed? I’m shocked,” she feigned horror with her hand clasped to her chest.  


“You have been spending far too much time with Dorian,” he stood up and let out a hearty laugh, “I shall meet you down below once you have properly dressed,” he got up and walked over to the ladder, sliding down to his office.  


Grumbling under her breath she got out of bed and began picking out something to wear. She picked out something different then her normal cinch as she found a long sleeved dress in the chest. Odd since she’d never seen it in there before, but she shrugged and pulled it on. The forest green velvet material snugged her tightly, leaving very little to the imagination as she pulled her lace up boots underneath. Securing her dagger in between the laces at the side of her calf. Still tying her medical pouch around her waist, she giggled and then let herself down the ladder.  


“How do I look?” she giggled, spinning around before him, her raven coils loose and flowing as she twirled like a small child in a field of flowers.  


“Maker you are beautiful,” he stammered as he crossed the room.  


Catching herself she stopped spinning and opened her arms to him, “shall we go get something to eat?”  


All Cullen could manage was a nod as he was lost in her exuberant energy and the shimmer of the material in the sunlight streaming down from the ceiling. He calmly took her by the hand and led her out the door and towards the tavern. Sarah smiled and seemed to feel light as air. She could see several Orlesian noble scoff and groan as he walked her to the tavern. Before this would have upset her but today, nothing could tear her down. She was on borrowed time, soon Trevelyan would finish with Morrigan in the Fade and then she’d want to get to Corypheus. There would be a small get together and then, off to the DLC. At least she would have maybe another day or two with that before they were thrown two years into the future. To the Exalted Council. Then, it would be all over and she couldn’t bare thinking about that just yet.  


She took her usual seat in the tavern as Cullen went to order. Before she knew it the whole placed seemed to shake and then the windows emitted an eerie green glow. Cullen was no where to be seen. Trevelyan and her party would be off to chase down Corypheus while everyone else stayed behind to wait. She didn’t want to move, she just sunk her head down into her arms on the table, watching the door. A few moments later Cullen walked through and up the stairs, quickly taking a seat beside her.  


“The Inquisitor has left to deal with Corypheus,” he sighed heavily and wiped his hands down his face.  


“I know, we’re running out of time,” she sighed and looked around seeing the bar patrons all nervous and scared. Her calmness eerie compared to the room of quiet people.  


“No, I can’t, I…” he rested his face in his palms, elbows on the table.  


Tenderly she wrapped her arms around him, “shh love, don’t. Soon we’ll be having a party in the main hall, celebrating the defeat of Corypheus. Your family will be safe, all of Thedas will be safe from him,” she rested her head on his mantle, the fur warm and inviting, “please, for the people.”  


There wasn’t much time. She held him for what felt like only moments when the daylight broke to night, clear and crisp. She was standing at the base of the stone steps and the Inquisitor and her party were walking forward through the split crowd towards Leliana, Josephine and Cullen atop the arch over the stairway down to the front gate. She clapped along with everyone else as the Inquisitor stood with her advisors. When they all walked inside, she sighed and turned walking back to Cullen’s tower. She took her time climbing the stone steps, a soldier rushing by clapping and smiling, “we’ve won, my lady!” he raced by her.  


“Yes, Maker preserve us all,” she retorted as she reached the top and walked through the still unfinished tower before opening the door to Cullen’s tower. The place she’d come to call home for the last, she had to think. It must have been only a day or two in real time. Perhaps a week or two weeks of actual sleep. She knew that a year had passed in the game and soon two more would pass in the blink of an eye. She opened the door and let herself in, lighting the candles about the room and slumping down in Cullen’s chair behind his desk, “if I could wish for one thing, I wish I never had to leave him,” she looked up at the night sky, the stars seemed brighter as they twinkled above her. She barely noticed the front door open.  


“Enjoying the stars?” Cullen snickered his cheeks painted a bright red.  


“Someone’s been drinking,” she chuckled back, getting up from the chair, “enjoy the evening?”  


Half staggering he crossed the room and lifted her up into his arms, “we won the battle, and tonight, nothing matters!” he kissed her deeply, desperately seeking her body against his.  


Just managing to pull back slightly, as he continued to trail open mouth kisses and nibbles over her neck, “if you’re going to be like this, we should lock up and go to bed,” she chuckled pushing him back, “I swear once we’re all set up we can enjoy our win.”  


Seeing some semblance of logic he placed her gently back down and rushed about locking the doors as she extinguished the candles and climbed the ladder. He wasn’t far behind her. She knew they’d have tonight, at the least tonight and she was going to make good on it. They made love more times than she could count, waking several times through out the night for more. He was insatiable and eager to learn her, to pleasure her in every way he could. Little concern for anything other than pulling his name, shuttering and shaking from her lips before finally bringing himself to his own satisfaction. By the rising sun of morning they were breathing heavy as he rolled over and cuddled her closely, “we’ve been at this all night,” Sarah giggled as she yawned, “would it be possible to get some actual sleep? Beside I think if we go again I may need ice for my bits,” she cuddled into him letting a weak snicker pass her lips.  


Breathing in deeply Cullen let out a laugh, “we can sleep in today. No one is expecting to do a thing and I could not care about a thing outside of you,” he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, “you are all that matters to me today.”  


She felt the lump creep up into her throat and her eyes sting, “you as well my love,” she sighed, burying her face into his chest, “I’m exhausted, and you should sleep as well!” she poked him in the nose.  


They both yawned and snuggled into each other, falling asleep quickly. Sarah woke to the sound of silence, she sat up happy she was still in his tower. She sat up in bed, the sound of two people pacing in the lower section of the room caught her attention. She slowed her movements and carefully reached for Cullen’s undershirt. Pulling that over her head she strained to hear what was going on down bellow.  


“Thank you for the report from the Deep Roads expedition. You say the Inquisitor is in the Frostback Basin now?” Cullen’s voice was soft, lacking his usual boldness.  


“Yes Commander, she’s assisting some scholar in researching the first Inquisitor. Inquisitor Ameridan disappeared in that area over eight hundred years ago. She claims they are close to discovering his whereabouts, but there is an issue of an ancient ordered called the Jaws of Hakkon. She has not requested further soldiers ser,” the sound of rustling papers filled the brief silence.  


“No, if she has not requested the men then it is best they continue their work with clearing the remaining demon threats. Has Rylen reported in yet?” Cullen’s voice was becoming slightly louder.  


“Yes, he claims the site in the Western Approach is secured and the men appreciate the new cook. Morale is high and they are confident they’ve beaten back the last bit of demons out there. They seem to only be contending with the odd darkspawn here and there.”  


“Thank you, is that all?” there was a brief pause which Sarah took as the messenger possibly nodding, “dismissed,” the sound of boots pacing and then the door opening and closing echoed in the room. Her heart sank. All too soon the Exalted Council would happen and it would be game over. There were so many side quests, item locations, fetch quests to fill the main game but the DLC were straight forward. It seemed in the time she shared with Cullen and slept that Trevelyan had already entered the Deep Roads and completed that DLC. She reached up around her neck and felt the locket. Has she shown him yet? It was all a blur to her and things were feeling so final. She quietly dressed and slid down the ladder, “how’s today going love,” she smiled trying not to let this getting her down.  


“Quiet, much quieter than I am accustomed to. There is still so much work to do, but now there is no threat. No creature ushering in death and destruction. Now we can take our time and get things sorted properly,” he sighed rubbing his neck, “I am lecturing you.”  


Chuckling she crossed the room to him, “I always said if you had one prepared I’d love to hear it,” she looked at his desk, half empty unlike his usual load of papers, “who became Divine?”  


“Cassandra will be sworn in soon as Divine Victoria. She is both excited to begin making things better, and equally unsure of herself. I have spent a bit of time with her before she left to Val Royeux. The Inquisitor sent her off and wished her luck before heading to the Frostback Basin,” he looked up from the paper in his hands, “this is goodbye, soon isn’t it? It feels like it.”  


“No, no,” she tried to smile. After all he was just a video game character, the game would restart and he’d remember none of this. It was her hurt to bare, not his. He deserved this bit of happiness before he endured it all over again, “come, let’s get something to eat. I’m almost certain you’ve neglected your tummy,” she giggled softly, reaching her hand for his. If this were to end she wanted it to end like this, “have I showed you my necklace? I feel things have blurred a bit for me,” she pulled him towards the door, calmly as she could. She pulled the locket out from it’s spot safely, tucked in her shirt, “I had Dorian take it to Dagna to fashion for me. I was concerned if it was rattling around in my pocket I might lose it. This way it lays close to my heart, as you have,” she smiled opening the door for them to walk through.  


“It’s beautiful,” Cullen sighed stepping between her and the door, carefully reaching down to touch it, “I hope you keep it with you always,” his voice was morose and low.  


She reached up and touched his face, “it’s not over. I love you, I will always love you, no matter what. Know my heart belongs to you, and if had the power I would forsake everything and stay by your side,” as she spoke she saw his eyes light up and things around them began to blur. Time sped forward and she was in the courtyard of Halamshiral. Cullen was a few feet away, petting a mabari war hound. She drew in a deep breath and walked over to him, “he’s adorable,” she knelt down and let the dog sniff her, he seemed to nod with approval and tilt his head to her, allowing her to pet him.  
“I have no idea how he got to be in the Winter Palace. Another Fereldan trapped in all this, I couldn’t leave him to his own fate,” he scratched his belly. Cullen stopped and stood up for a moment, “Sarah, it’s been nearly three years since you fell out of that rift in Haven. I..” he reached up and rubbed his neck.  


Sarah stood up and chuckled, taking a step into him, “hush, you are going to ask me to marry you, and a thousand times I’ll say yes,” she smiled looking up at him, “remember I said I’ve seen most of these things.”  


The dog barked happily as Cullen cleared his throat, “that was not how I had planned it, or any of it but thank you. After this is all dealt with, we can do it right,” he reached down and scrubbed the head of the mabari, “we shall have to give you a proper name,” he chuckled.  


“Would it be wrong to call him Cailan? As in the old King?” she knelt beside him, “Hmm boy? What do you think of the name Cailan?” He jumped about and pranced happily, giving a satisfied bark, “I think he likes it,” she giggled scratching behind his ears.  


“I am the luckiest man alive,” Cullen’s face glowed with a smile so wide and genuine Sarah wanted to cry.  


She smiled up at him, “you probably have to get in there and deal with the council. I’ll stick with Cailan. He’ll need someone to help him stay out of trouble. Won’t you boy?” she patted his head, earning her a happy yip. Cullen kissed her on the lips gently and nodded. She watched him walk away towards the large iron gate, looking regal in his military attire. The same jacket he’d worn to the Winter Ball before. She knew it was over, as he walked through the doors but she didn’t have the heart to say anything. Cailan licked her face, “yes boy, it’s coming to an end. I didn’t have the heart to say goodbye to him,” she sniffled, “I’d do anything to stay with him, but this is almost over,” she wiped a tear from her eye, continuing to pet the dog.  


Things began to shift and blur as she felt herself grow weary, she reached out to touch the dog one last time, “live well Cailan, take care of him for me will you,” she heard the warped bark as everything grew dark and the tears flowed.  


She woke with a startle, gasping for breath, the familiar feeling of the couch under her. She sat up straight, “was I dreaming?” she looked around the room to see everything as it was, the credits of Dragon Age: Inquisition scrolling down the TV, “I don’t….” she felt something cold around her neck, she reached down. The cool metal touching her fingers she pulled it up on see the locket, “I… this is impossible!” she started to cry. Tears pouring down her face as she cursed everything. She heard a loud clap of thunder, the sky outside still glowing an eerie purple. She got up to go to her room, intent on crying the next hour away in her bed when she heard something banging in her room. She carefully cracked the door open, peeking inside. It was dark in her room, the curtains closed tightly and not a single speck of light to help her see. She slowly opened the door, peeking inside, something moved in the corner. Something large, “come out, I can see you there!” she yelled trying to sound braver than she was. The shape stopped and she though she recognized the form. She flicked the light switch but nothing happened. Great time for the breaker to kick in, she grumbled. She kept a flashlight on the stand by the door, she fumbled around until her fingers landed on the light, “don’t move,” she grunted, pushing the button.  


“I am sorry, I have no idea how I arrived here. The last thing I recall was the Inquisitor and…” Cullen was wearing a normal pair of blue jeans, and a plain black t-shirt standing in the corner of her bedroom.  


“Cullen!!!” she shrieked, half jumping up and down, “by the Maker, you… how?” she started laughing, “oh, you don’t recognize me! Its me, Sarah, this is the real me!” she pulled the curtains back to see the storm lifted and the odd purple glow gone from the sky.  


“Sarah?” he squinted through the sudden rush of bright light, “sweet Maker!”  


Sarah then realized her attire, “oh, shit! I…uh… well to be fair I wasn’t expecting company,” she reached for a pair of yoga pants on her nightstand and a tank top, quickly pulling them on, “I’m sorry this is all such a shock to you, I’m sure. I know I told you a lot about this world but…” she nibbled her lip, “I’m not that lithe little elf anymore, and I’m not very appealing like this I’m sure,” she groaned.  


Cullen stood for a moment before catching a glimpse of himself in her large mirror behind her dresser, “I… this is incredible!” he smiled widely and looked back over at her, “you are much more beautiful than you spoke of,” he walked towards her, stopping and looked down at his feet. A pair of black runners on his feet, “there’s so much to see!”  


Giggling she took his hands in hers, “I promise we have all the time in the world now. I’ll teach you everything,” she wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled so wide her face began to hurt, “does this mean you still love me? Even like this?” she was terrified to say the words.  


“Of course! Remember I said it had nothing to do with how you appeared but the person you were inside. I fell in love with the heart of Sarah and if you are still the same, then there is no doubting. I still wish to be with you, to have you as my wife, if that custom happens here,” he chuckled gripping her tightly.  


“It very much does,” she laughed, “we’ll figure this all out, together.”


	14. EPILOGUE

Sarah called out sick the next two days before finally quitting her job. She spent those days teaching Cullen all about her world. He was a veritable sponge wanting more and more information and acclimating to things rapidly. She cooked for him, and showed him pictures of her family. Cullen was excited to meet her parents, and to get to know more of everything. She asked him if he was alright and if he missed his family. She was shocked when Cullen replied saying he hadn’t seen them since he was thirteen and had barely written. It would be hard to miss people he hadn’t spoken to or seen in nearly seventeen years. She understood, after all his family was the Templars and that didn’t end well either. She had to explain the major differences from his world to hers and she was shocked to find a wallet in his jeans. It contained a full birth certificate, and every document he needed. Perhaps a final blessing from whatever powers created all of this.  


She took him shopping, and out to restaurants, but his favorite places were the gym and the library. Driving was interesting, even though his wallet had a driver’s license it was a nerve wrecking few trials, late at night in the mall parking lot, before he was comfortable behind a wheel. After a couple weeks, her money was running low and she knew it was time to move back in with her parents if she couldn’t find a part time job. She explained the situation to Cullen only to find the manager of the gym was so impressed with Cullen and his training that he offered him a job as a personal trainer. Sarah was ecstatic as she explained to Cullen how working, worked and he took the job. His nickname at the gym quickly became, “Commander Cullen,” and he was a popular choice for men and some women. Though many of the women couldn’t keep up with his demands.  


Cullen’s money helped pay the bills while Sarah worked on getting enrolled in school. She called her mom and dad and they eagerly wished to meet Cullen. He was a smash in their house immediately! Such manners and proper language is rare and he was a jewel. It was at that time he quietly and properly asked permission for her hand from her father. With that all settled they offered to have Sarah and Cullen move in till her school was complete to take some of the financial burden off. Cullen insisted on doing the work himself, and Sarah had to bow to his requests.  


They lived in her parent’s house for a year while she attended school. Once she was in her job placement and earning more money, they settled on looking for a house of their own. She didn’t realize Cullen had been reading up on financial books and had put away a tidy sum. After a couple months, they put a down payment on a house and moved in. Six months from then they were married.  


Cullen adapted to daily life and Sarah couldn’t imagine a life without him. Of course, no one ever knew the true story of how they met, that was their little secret. A secret they were both all to happy to keep to themselves. Sarah always had a silly answer to the question and Cullen would sit back and let her tell the story. A new one nearly every time. After a year in their house and nine months after their wedding they welcomed their first child into the world. Things could not be more peaceful, but Sarah always wondered in the back of her mind, if there may be a penalty to pay somewhere down the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my self-indulgent piece and took me far longer to pen out than I would have liked. I enjoyed this one and toyed with it for weeks. I hope you enjoyed Sarah's story as much as I did. Thank you!!


End file.
